Cool Nights and Catfights
by NS Phoenix
Summary: About 4 years after the Seitetsu fights started, the Moderators changed venues to a university city in Canada. There, another unlikely hero gets the Kampfer power, and gets thrust right into the middle of the war. More explanation in Chapter 1.
1. Chapter 1: Introducing

(All right, my first ever story on here! So first, main story overview. Like I said, this occurs 4 years after the initial events of the series, and this occurs on the opposite side of the world. I am going to be using all original characters at the start, but I do have plans to bring in characters from the initial series as I see fit. I guess you can basically call this story the "Competent Hero" version of the original. Just give it a shot, I got two chapters up to start so you can see how I'm going to be writing this. It's very stream-of-consciousness right now, but it'll likely change as more characters are brought in.

This Chapter is basically just an introduction to the main character, internal monologue, setting up the story, yadda yadda yadda.

Please note that I don't own the rights to Kämpfer or anything about it. If I did, I obviously would not be writing about it on here.)

* * *

"Taxi!" my voice rang out into the cool January night. The cabs sped onward, most already full with bar patrons on their way back home. "Come on, taxi!" I called again. Still I got paid no mind. By this time, the crowd outside The Firehouse had dwindled to a few stragglers, still not believing their night was done. "Tax….you know what? Fine! I'll walk! No eight bucks for you guys!" I tucked my money back into my pocket.

"Goodbye Red Toque Guy!" one of the remaining patrons shouted out.

"Yeah, goodbye, um, what's-yer-name," I returned. I pulled the woollen hat farther down over my ears and started down the street. A light snow started to fall. "Perrrrrrrrfect." I pressed on.

* * *

I do have a name other then "Red Toque Guy." My name is Ryan McCarty. I'm 21 years old, I'm a student at MacMichael University, and as you can probably tell from the fact that I'm walking home alone from the bar, I'm apparently not that well liked. I don't even have friends that will tell me when they've decided to leave the bar. I just spent the last four hours chatting up this girl and getting her out on the dance floor, making some progress, only to have her walk right out the door 20 minutes to close the second her friend said boo. It's a pretty lonely feeling, just standing there, looking around at the groups of people paired off, and realizing you're stranded with the guy who's created a one man mosh pit for himself. At least the band is sympathetic.

It's not like I don't have much to work with. I mean, I'm no Twilight boy toy, but I'm not bad. Short, dirty blonde hair, deep blue eyes, a thin goatee. I'm definitely not skinny, but I'm not fat. I don't know, maybe it's the height, I am really tall. Hard to get a girl interested when all she can think about is how much her neck's hurting just straining up to look at me. Maybe it's the clothes. Yeah, blue jeans and a black t-shirt, that really stands out. Least I have the toque on top of my head. Give me a little bit of a presence. Best 20 bucks I ever spent. Thank god for this jacket. It is freezing out here tonight. Lousy taxies.

At this point in time, I know I'm pretty far gone. When you find money on the ground at a bar, it tends to stay inside the building. I'm not sure what percentage of my blood is now Keith's India Pale Ale but I'm guessing it's up there. Even bought some for the girl, but nope, still gets me the cold walk home. Alone. I should be used to this walk by now, I've taken it dozens of times. I passed the armory, passed the cemetery, passed the frozen over public garden, it never changes. The winter walk is always cold, forbidding and... usually not littered with things that I can kick up. That was not regular snow. I just booted whatever the heck that was. Huh, I think I can make it out ahead. Yeah, there it is.

* * *

I bent down and picked up what looked like some kind of stuffed animal. Brushing off the snow and dirt from where I kicked it, I could see this wasn't your run-of-the-mill Beanie Baby type of plush toy. Sure it had a similar look. To my drunken eyes, it appeared to be a tan kangaroo, but its eyes were a bright red. It had a criss-crossing grill mark all across its face, burned in black. It's tongue was sticking out, but the weirdest part was the little pink tail sticking out of its stomach, almost making it look like its guts were coming out.

"Huh, ugly little thing," I muttered to myself. There didn't appear to be any kind of marking or tag on it to tell where it came from. "Well, I guess we're both cast out this weekend." I ended up taking it with me, it's not the first time I've picked up things off the ground. Found 75 dollars on the floor the other day at Ricky's Shack when I went there. Heck, even found a tie on one of these treks back home before. Washed it before wearing it obviously. Plus, there are no stains or anything on this thing. Maybe it will add a little color to my room.

The rest of the walk was pretty uneventful. A couple of cars passing by, wonder what they thought, seeing a grown man carrying a stuffed toy around in the middle of the night. Probably just par for the course in this city. There are so many different bars here, it's awesome. As the green house comes up, I can see through the big bay window that my buddies above have packed it in. Very rarely do you see that on a Saturday night. Not even anyone passed out on the couch. They're taking it easy, I guess.

I made my way down around the back, to the basement floor to where I live. Quiet as usual. My roommates are definitely not the party types. Well Kyle sort of is, but he'll usually go elsewhere with his girlfriend to do it. The two ladies of the house are asleep already. Wonder how late the guys above kept them up, and if I'll have to hear about it tomorrow. Probably will.

I entered my room, the last door in the hall. It's pretty barren looking. Since I moved back down to the city for the short term, I didn't bother getting any posters or anything like that. What's the point, right? I don't even have a dresser, I just keep all my clothes in the suitcase I brought down. My "end table" is my laundry basket turned upside down. Other then my makeshift furniture, I just have the standard stuff in here, bed, desk, TV, laptop, you know, the usual dorm room setup.

The kangaroo got a new home on said desk, amongst the clutter already on there. It got perched on top of the highest pile, it's almost as if it was lording over the spare change and random papers below. I flopped down on the bed, gazing at the still lit screen on the computer. Not much happening at this time of night. A couple new posts on a gaming site, nothing more. I put on some music and started to pass out. It'll be yet another Sunday tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2: Awakening

(OK, everyone enjoy that? Short, sweet, just to establish character. Now we'll start getting into it here. If anyone has any comments or improvements I can make, please don't hesitate to leave a review.

I don't own the rights to Kämpfer. But you already knew that.)

* * *

My thoughts are just pounding away right now. Ow. My head hurts. Damn you Alexander, your beer has done me in again. Thank God it's a Sunday. Dang, it just went right from night to day, didn't it? My neck is really itchy, too. Why is that?

As I reached back to scratch, I realized it was hair brushing against my neck, and there was a lot more of it there when I went to sleep. This realization jolted me up in my bed. I finally pried my eyes open and brought the hair forward. It was black and looked to run to longer than my shoulders. My hand was skinnier too, my fingers longer. I looked down. My vision was obscured by the two huge breasts that had grown while I was out. As I ran my fingers down my chest and stomach, it was apparent I had a slimmer body now too. When I got down below my waist, there was a very noticeable subtraction.

I was panicking now. "What the hell?" I said, but then closed my hand over my mouth. That was not my voice. This was a soft, gentle voice. I tried to place it somewhere else, but I couldn't, although Jennifer Aniston's comes close, when she's trying to do one of those more serious roles and she tries to tone down the pitchiness but fails. This was not a good development for me. I wasn't exactly a fan of her work, especially when she's trying to be serious. At least this version wasn't as annoying as her voice, but it was mine now, apparently.

I lifted off the covers and saw that even my clothes had changed. The black t-shirt I passed out in was now skin tight, and cut lower showing off my newly acquired melons. The jeans looked the same, but they weren't as baggy, hugging my body a lot closer. I opened the fly and my plaid boxers were gone. In their place was a pair of white panties. Freak-out stage had been reached.

"What is this? What is going on?" I asked out loud, desperate for an answer. I really didn't expect to get one so soon.

"Ah, Sleeping Beauty awakens," came a comment from somewhere in the room. "I was wondering when you would finally get up."

"What? Who said that? And why do you sound like Alyson Hannigan doing a bad Japanese accent?"

"Accent! You think this is an accent? I'll show you accent!" From out of my peripheral vision came a fuzzy, if not familiar shape. It attempted a drop kick but instead landed harmlessly beside my legs.

"Wait, you're that thing I found last night!" My mind was spinning even more now. Random boobs, talking karate toys, I have to still be drunk, right?

"I'm not a thing! I have a name, you know!" I could see annoyance in its red eyes.

"No I don't, you weren't exactly spouting any information when I picked you up!"

"Sigh, whatever. I'm Barbecued Kangaroo. You should be able to remember that. But since you're freaking out right now, I'm guessing I'm going to have to explain everything to you, aren't I?"

"That would be helpful," I noted, laying back down on the bed, my back resting against the wall. At least I'm going to get some answers now. "You can start with why I'm a girl first."

"OK, you see that bracelet on your right arm, there?" Barbecued Kangaroo started.

I hadn't even noticed before. There was a bracelet on my arm, it was a bit bigger then your average bracelet, with a wavy edge pointing towards me, like a crown. It was bright red, too. How did I miss this? I tried to take it off but it was stuck on my wrist.

"That bracelet is your contract. It means you have been chosen as a Kämpfer, and if you're trying to take it off, well good luck with that, cause it ain't happening. Anyway, since all Kämpfers are female, that's why your body was changed."

"New question then," I interrupted. "What the hell is a Kämpfer?"

"I was getting to that!" Barbecued Kangaroo scolded. "Kämpfers are elite warriors chosen to battle in a proxy war between two separate planets. Since your bracelet is red, that means you fight Blue Kämpfers, who have blue bracelets. The Moderators oversee these battles, they are pretty much the referees."

"What does that make you then, since I'm guessing you're no off-the-rack Toys "R" Us special."

"Of course not! I am a messenger, sent by the moderators to accompany Kämpfers."

"Oh, so that means I can blame you for turning me into a girl!" I picked up Barbecued Kangaroo and threw it across the room. It made a satisfying thud against the wall before sliding down into my laundry hamper.

"Ow!" Barbecued Kangaroo exclaimed as it climbed back out. "What the hell! I didn't do this! You should be thankful anyway! You were pretty ugly as a dude! At least now you look doable!"

"Keep talking like that! I'll send you through the washing machine next!"

"OK, OK, calm down. Look this isn't permanent. You can easily turn back into a guy. You only turn into a girl if a battle is going to happen or there are other active Kämpfers around. Plus, your bracelet will glow, giving you ample time to get to any place where you don't want people to see you."

"Ugh, I…..I need a drink of water," I got up, my flipping of the blanket foiling Barbecued Kangaroo's attempt to climb back onto my bed. Timidly, I opened the door and started down the hallway. It was quiet, thank god. That means my roommates are either still asleep, out of the house or stuck in their rooms doing work_._ I made my way around the rooms, through the living room and into the kitchen, where I got my water. As I made my way back towards my room, I ducked into the bathroom right quick.

With no mirror in my room, I was a little curious as to the full affect of my change. When I looked in the bathroom's mirror however, it was like staring at a completely different person. I saw the hair in full display, it was definitely past shoulder length, stopping right around my armpits, with the bangs only partially covering my forehead. It was jet black but it looked almost like blue streaks could be seen when the light hit it right. My cheeks and jaw were less noticeable, all my facial hair had disappeared and my face looked almost skinny. My nose was tinier too. The only thing that remotely connected this woman in the mirror to the man I've been all my life were my eyes. They were still the same, the deep blue pools still visible, although now surrounded by eyelashes. I hate to say it but that bloody kangaroo's right. No way I looked this good before.

Back in my room, I sat back down on the bed and chugged half the glass of water. I exhaled and turned to Barbecued Kangaroo, who I almost sat on according to the yell I got.

"So, you said I can change back right? How do I do that? This is gonna be really inconvenient if I'm stuck like this. My I.D. will be pretty much useless."

"Is that all you care about?" Barbecued Kangaroo shook its head. "Well, all you got to do is concentrate, and you'll shift back."

"Concentrate? Ah crap, I don't know if I can do that," I moaned. But I had to try if I wanted my equipment back. I closed my eyes and focused really hard. After a few minutes or so of trying to concentrate though, I was getting nowhere.

"Come on! Why won't I change back?" I was almost on the verge of tears at this point. I'm not liking this body's hormones very much.

"Hahahahahahaha!" Barbecued Kangaroo just laughed. "You can't even do it! You aren't going to last very long in this war! Hahaha-owwwwww!" The laughter stopped when I slammed Barbecued Kangaroo against the wall, pinning it there.

"Well then, if you're so smart, why don't you change me back?" I asked.

"I WILL IF YOU LET ME GO!" Barbecued Kangaroo barely got out before I released its head from between the wall and my hand. "Ah…hah…that wasn't very nice!"

"You know what's not nice, withholding vital information. Now change me back!"

"Fine, fine," The messenger relented as it moved to the end of the bed, in between my spread feet. "All right, now just close your eyes, and let me do my thing."

"OK," I closed my eyes. I heard something like a cry, then a whoosh of air, but that was it before I passed out for the second time that day.

* * *

When I awoke a hour later, I was still a bit woozy. I looked down and sure enough, I looked like my old self again, everything back in its place. Barbecued Kangaroo at least did what it said it would. Hell, it might have just been some weird booze-fueled dream.

"Ah! That's much better!" I exclaimed, relief very present in my voice.

"That's your opinion," chimed a voice that confirmed that was no dream. Damn. "First, you make me knock you out so you can change back away from the attractive you, and now I have to stare at your ugly guy mug the rest of the day."

"Remember what I said about the washing machine?" I reminded it. "I can very easily add bleach to that threat."

"Gah! Not bleach! Anything but bleach!" Barbecued Kangaroo was pleading now. "Jeez, just don't be so quick to dismiss possibly extended stays in your female form, OK? It has its uses, and as I'm sure I've made quite clear, it's much easier on the eyes then you."

"Whatever," I said, closing the topic. My newly-acquired roommate sure does seem to have a huge preference for girl me. That's kind of weird. Doesn't it have a girl's voice? Of course for that matter, why am I wondering about the sexual preferences of a stuffed toy? "All right, I'm starving. I'm gonna go eat some food and stuff, you stay in here. Don't be loud or anything, or like I said, washing machine."

"Yes, yes. I get the point," Barbecued Kangaroo sighed as it collapsed on the bed. "Go on."

I went out to the kitchen to fix up some Kraft Dinner. It usually keeps me calm, and I can make it in my sleep. This is a good thing, because there were still so many questions on my mind.

If I'm a warrior, how the heck am I supposed to fight? Is this some kind of Street Fighter deal? Why the hell do my clothes change at the same time I do? Why do I get this random "gift" bestowed on me? Where is the butter? What is this red vs. blue war even about? Are there any more of those weird stuffed toys? Are they all as nuts as mine is? Do I want juice or beer? How can I make my head stop hurting? Man!

With a liberal covering of Cajun spices on the cheap pasta and a glass of orange punch, I made my way back to my room. Still thinking as I walked, it was at the last second that I managed to avoid dumping my supper on my roommate Kyle, who just emerged from his room right as I was coming through.

"Whoa Kyle! I almost didn't see you there!" I said, slightly embarrassed.

"No worries, man," he replied. "Nothing bad ended up happening." That's one thing I like about having Kyle as a roommate. He's got such a nice laid-back attitude. He may not look it, with the really close-cut hair, the chinstrap beard, and the stocky build, but he's a cool guy. I mean, I just randomly appeared in his life a month ago, and he already invites me along to parties and stuff. It's pretty awesome.

"Yeah, good thing I got those cat-like reflexes," I joked. "You have a good time last night?"

"Of course. Hard not to have a good time with Ashley."

"Haha, true. True," I nodded. Of course he'd be saying that. Not that I couldn't disprove it. From the couple times I hung out with her, she seemed OK. Plus, she was pretty good-looking. Not as good looking as I was earlier but…what am I saying? Stop thinking that, Ryan!

"Speaking of last night, I heard some weird noises coming out of your room when I got in this morning? Was anything going on?" he asked.

Shoot. What the heck did that piece of fluff do when I was asleep? Heck, when did Kyle get in? I don't think I heard his door open or close. I gotta say something!

"Um, I dunno man," I answered quickly. "I was pretty out of it when I got back last night. The TV was on when I finally came to. It might have been that. I don't know what else it could be."

"Huh, I guess that makes sense," Kyle said. Thank whoever's up there he bought that! "All right, Ryan, was just curious on that. Anyway, enjoy your KD." He went back down the hall, probably to get his own supper started.

"Will do!" I called out, quickly ducking back into my room and shutting the door. I let out a deep sigh at having avoided having to say anything on what happened earlier. Barbecued Kangaroo was just lounging there on my bed, intensely staring at the rerun of MADTV that was playing. I would have almost pitied it, had I not now had to dance my way out of an awkward conversation that it probably caused.

"So, Kyle tells me there was a bunch of noise this morning?" I asked rhetorically. "What the heck were you doing then, BK?"

"Hey I-really? You're just going to say BK now?" BK questioned. "How lazy are you?"

"Just answer the dang question."

"Well, I wasn't making any noise," BK answered defiantly. "That was you. After you turned into a Kämpfer for the first time, you were still asleep. But you were having some messed up dream. You were banging on the wall, pretty sure you nailed your head too, and you were saying stuff like 'Try that one more time, I'll break your face off' and 'Where's my burrito?' I was going to wake you up, but I figured that wouldn't be in my best interests considering you probably weren't ready to accept your new look. Of course, I was right on the money."

"Oh, well sorry," I apologized between mouthfuls of macaroni. "Still not accepted it by the way. I'm a guy, and that's how I like it."

"Whatever floats your boat," BK leapt back over to the desk. "You already know how I feel on it. Guarantee others will back me on that."

"There aren't going to be any others, because no one's going to find out about this!"

"Oh I bet. I mean you've got a house full of people, you can't control your transformations, other Kämpfers out in the city are going to be trying to attack you. I'm sure you're going to manage to keep that a secret from everyone you know." For a toy, it sure does take a sarcastic tone pretty quickly.

"How do you know there are other Kämpfers in this city? I mean, they gotta be pretty spread out all over the world."

BK just shook its head. "Kämpfers always tend to gather in one area in a region, and its that way for a reason. The Moderators want to see battles occurring. It doesn't do any good to spread them out, no battles happen that way. So you will be seeing some here. That is, if they don't get you first."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're a complete rookie! You don't even know what you can actually fight with!"

"Well, maybe I don't need anything. Maybe I'll just do some killer karate or something." I made chopping motions with my arm to show off my non-existent karate training.

"Ha! Good luck when you've got bullets flying at you!"

"Wait, what? They get guns? The hell?"

"Yes! You see Ryan, there are three types of Kämpfer; Gewehr types that get guns, Schwert types that get swords and blades, and Zauber types that get magical powers."

"Well which one am I?" I was getting somewhat curious to know if I at least got anything cool looking.

"Now how can I tell you that if I've never seen you in a fight? I'm not psychic!"

"OK, OK, good point." I finished off the remains of the Kraft Dinner and washed it down with the rest of the juice.

"So what are you going to do now?" BK asked.

"Well," I answered. "I'm going to go to the fridge, get my leftover beers from last night, drink them down, and then head out to the Double Dodo to meet up with my friends." I started to move towards the door to emphasize this.

"You're going out tonight?" There was a trace of worry in BK's voice. "You're going to be a sitting duck for any Kämpfer that catches wind of your existence, you know? With a new Kämpfer on the field, there's always a few who feel it's their duty to go and give the newbie the what for!"

"Don't worry! I'm not going to be all cliché and get separated from the group. That's Sneak Attack Avoidance 101. Stay in the group," I headed out the door, dishes in tow. "I'll be fine. Barely anyone goes to the Double Dodo nowadays, not since the drink specials got cancelled. I doubt I'll have any problems."

"Just be on your guard! It would be nice if you could at least make it past day one without getting your brains blasted!"

I shut the door, trapping BK inside my room. Jeez, that thing is nuts. One minute, it's insulting me, the next it's fawning over me like my mom. This is going to be fun to try to live with.

* * *

Kyle was out in the living room when I came out, playing some Call of Duty. After depositing the dishes in the sink, I grabbed the remaining beer and we took turns playing online, doing our usual drinking game where whenever we get killed, we drink. Since I'm not exactly stellar at the game, this usually means I get pretty drunk, pretty quick. The game accomplished its goal, as after a couple hours of playing, my beer is gone. After that, I put on my forest green sweater, placed my toque back on and set out for the waterfront.


	3. Chapter 3: Meeting

(All right, I know everyone's been waiting with baited breath to see where this story's going to go. I assure you, it's not just going to be about Ryan's daily life. That would be incredibly boring. No, we've got some actual stuff going on in this chapter, so read on, and as usual, comments and reviews are appreciated. I don't know when the next chapter's going to be up, since April is that month that royally screws over university students, but I'll do my best, and if it's not up by the end of the month, then I'll be back in the middle of nowhere, where there is nothing to do but write! So enjoy!

There are a lot of rights in the Bill of Rights. But none of them give me the rights to Kämpfer.)

* * *

Thank God the buses are still running. Now I don't have to walk.

I went to the bus stop near my house and after a couple of minutes, the number nine was by to whisk me downtown to the Double Dodo. Not many people are on the bus tonight, I'm kind of glad that's the case. On the other weekend nights the bus is packed with roaming groups of drunken university students from on campus, screaming about where they are heading and how wasted they are. They have no idea how to handle themselves.

Tonight however, it's peaceful. I can lay back in the seat and just focus on the music coming through my headphones. *stellastarr, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Bravery; they all breeze through my buzzed head. It's so relax-shit, my stop!

Hastily yanking on the cord, I hopped off the bus. A quick stop at the bank to grab some cash, and I was off down the street to the Double Dodo aka the Dub-D. It's a far cry from its heyday the first time I was living in the city. Before it would always be packed when people came down, but now they don't even have anyone working the door. It's basically become a dive. Still good enough for a Sunday night though.

As I walk in the door, a familiar voice immediately greets me. "Ryan, glad you could make it out buddy!"

I turn around towards the stage and offer up a high five. "Chris man! Can't wait for the show to begin! Better have a good set lined up!"

Chris just smiled, "Come on, you know me Ryan. I don't disappoint."

Chris was the whole reason the group was down here. Him and his friend J.P. started up Frosted Cheerios, a two piece band on acoustic guitars, and they just began playing on the city's bar scene. This is only their second gig. If they did this back when I first met him, playing the Dub-D would have been a great honor. Now? It's not exactly the Firehouse, but it's a show. They're still very good though. Sometimes if they've got the guitars out when I'm upstairs, I even get to do vocals on a couple of songs. Apparently, I'm decent.

Heading over towards a large table in the lower part of the bar, I see the rest of my friends from upstairs. We've been hanging out since my first year of university, getting drunk in the dorms, playing many a round of beer pong. It was pretty lucky to be able to get a room in the same house they are living in, even if I have to put up with the results the next day from the other roommates.

Jack was at the head of the table, of course. He's pretty much the defacto leader. He was always the cool one, seemingly bullet proof. I say seemingly because I'm one of the few who has actually seen him when he's just physically shattered. It's not a pretty sight. Andy's next to him, big guy, but he always has a greeting and a good word for everyone. He's welcomed wherever he goes and he can always be counted on to lighten the mood in a place. Further down the table was Corey, the foreign representative of the group. I know American doesn't really count as foreign in Canada, but still, he hears about it. His girl Karen isn't here though. They must be on the outs again. That'll be fun next time I party with them. Frankie's the last guy, buried in the back. He was actually out of the group for a bit when he went back home to work, but he's back now. Still hasn't changed his nickname though. I mean, he primps and preens himself for so long every time before he goes out. How were we not to call him "Molly"? At least he accepts it. Plus, the rest of us get to make fun of him for being a Leafs fan. That never gets old. A couple other people were there too. Carrie, Lana, Kelsey, even Terry, who I hadn't seen in a couple years. Real good turnout tonight.

Quickly grabbing a pint of Alexander Keith's from the bar, I joined my friend's table. Just the usual chatter right now; how school was going, whether or not to get some food, nothing entirely interesting. Certainly had the TV beat though. Curling was apparently hot enough to be worth viewing on the big screen right now. Not my idea of a spectator sport, shuffleboard on ice. Any sport where you can drink and smoke and not have it affect your game officially is not a sport.

The hiss and crack coming from behind us signified that Chris and J.P. were ready to go. We all politely turned around, along with the other handful of patrons in the bar as his stage prattle began.

"How's everyone doing tonight? Ready for some music?" he asked to no one in particular.

We all clapped and wooed back, the only ones in the bar making any kind of noise.

"All right, well we are Frosted Cheerios. If there are any requests for songs that we might know, don't hesitate to ask."

"Wonderwall!" I shout out, calling for the Oasis song that's normally a standard of bands such as this.

"Ryan, fuck off," Chris replied, smiling. "Not playing that."

I do that every time. He hates that song. It's a shame, I can sing it pretty well.

"All right, well we'll start things off with a little Johnny Cash then,"

The duo launched into Folsom Prison Blues, J.P. handling the deep singing that Chris can't hit. As they played, the group turned their attention back amongst themselves. Jack and Andy were discussing school work, both business majors, really not my thing. Math has never agreed with me. The girls were really more interested in their phones then anything. Terry was away, said he was trying to coral one of the bar maids for some nachos. I don't know. If he's still the same Terry, he is probably after more than nachos. Frankie and Corey were discussing hockey, so I figured it was my duty to tell them both why Boston and Toronto would be golfing in April.

* * *

The evening was going well. The beer was flowing amongst the table, even with Monday looming. Terry did return and a few minutes later, nachos did arrive at the table. I felt I had to contribute, so I got some potato skins for a change of pace. We all just attacked the food, it was well worth the investment.

J.P. and Chris were still going strong. They hit some standard Canadian fare so far tonight. The Tragically Hip, Barenaked Ladies, Neil Young, they were catering to the other patrons in the bar who were considerably older then us. However, when they played their acoustic cover of "Kids" by MGMT, I had to go up and get video of that. They really do well with that song, and Chris plays the synth solo on his guitar with incredible ease and skill. I finally got that recorded now, so YouTube will know of their prowess soon.

As I returned to the table, I looked down at the glass sitting in front of me. It was close to leaving only the dregs of the beer at the bottom. I think I got time to get a new one. One more out of this glass and it'll be done.

"All right, this next song we've been working on for a little bit," Chris announced. "Bit of a different direction then what we've been playing. Hope you guys like it."

J.P. strummed out a few power strings, and soon Chris jumped in with his own guitar. It was tough to pick out what they were playing at first, but then Chris started the lyrics.

"You wake up late for school man you don't wanna go!"

Now we all knew. It was quite a surprise to hear them playing "Fight for Your Right," I don't remember even hearing them practice it. Chris was singing it really well though, and the whole table was getting into it. We all were raising our hands, pumping our fists. I was getting really into it, banging my head in time with the guitar, until Terry said something that immediately snapped me out of my reveling.

"Hey Ryan," he said, after tapping me on the shoulder. "This must be the beer tricking me, but I think your sleeve is glowing, dude!"

I pulled my hand down and sure enough, he was right. The bracelet inside was lighting up like a cheap neon sign. What the hell is it doing lighting up now? Don't tell me that overblown stuffed mutt was right? It's not going too fast, but I don't know how much time I got! I can't risk changing right in front of the group! I gotta get out of here.

I bolted from the table as discreetly as I could, but I wasn't quick enough to avoid Jack seeing.

"Ryan, where are you going? It's the middle of the song!" he called out, pulling everyone's attention to me.

"Ummmm, not feeling good guys, gotta hit the john for a sec!" It was a lie, but it was plausible. I have a past history of not being able to hold my liquor here, back when I was a rookie on the bar scene.

I dashed downstairs to the small washrooms, I could hear Jack commenting on me being a lightweight. It was killing me not be able to tell him it wasn't because of that, but there are more important things going on.

Flinging the door open I saw that thankfully there was no one in the men's washroom, of course that could be due to its sorry state. The doors were off the hinges, there were no paper towels. There weren't even any urinals anymore, just a garbage bag covering where they once were. It was sort of depressing. The bracelet was blinking even faster now. I just looked in the mirror. Why? Why does this have to happen to me?

I was still unprepared when the bracelet gave off a bright flash and the transformation began. I was awake for it for the first time and well, have you ever been shocked with static electricity by your douche brother or someone else? That's what my body was feeling like. Just this uncontrollable tingling feeling all over, lasting way too long, it was just weird. It was almost like I feel my body moving. Finally it ended, leaving me standing there, staring at the same woman from earlier in the mirror. Looked weird seeing that red toque not able to contain the hair underneath, the jet black strands cascading down from under it. Once again my clothes had changed, the green sweater now draped much farther down, exposing my shoulders, with the sleeve riding up enough to expose my bracelet.

"God damn it, doesn't this bloody bracelet know it's cold out?" I said to myself. "Why did it feel the need to change me now though? There weren't any other Kämpfers here. Were there? I can't even tell."

I timidly exited the room, again, no one was downstairs. Thankfully everyone's been able to hold it in. I have to find some way out of here. Other then the stairway, which is not a good option with the table right next to it, the only other choice is through the employee door. If it leads out back, that would work very well. I was about to go for it when I heard a crash upstairs. That's either Terry falling off the stool, or the reason my bracelet went off. 50/50 really. The screaming that came after that definitely put it more in the latter category.

I carefully looked around the stairwell to see if I could get an idea what was going on, but I didn't have to. The intruder was really loud.

"Where is she? I know she's here! She has to be here! There's no other place it could be!" shouted the female voice. Just another indication I was in trouble and I owed BK one free pass from a fling against the wall.

"We don't know who you're talking about!" Jack replied. "Just put the swords down! We can talk about this!" Oh goody. Swords. That just sounds awesome for me.

"No, this is not the time for talk. This is the time for that girl to die. Now where is she?"

"We don't know! We just want to drink! Is that so wrong?" Oh Terry. You really haven't changed.

I have to get out of here now. It's the employee door or nothing. I silently made my way through the door, in bold defiance of the partially hanging sign, and followed the corridor until- yes a way out! Oh thank god! Yanking open the door, I felt the cold wind rush in. It never felt so good to be frozen in all my life.

Heading out into the pitch black city street, I looked around. Not a cab in sight. I swear they all have a pact never to be around when I need it. Well at least the bus stop is close by. Maybe I can make it there. I began walking towards the stop, snow crunching under my feet, still thinking about what just happened. I mean, I basically abandoned my friends, and they weren't even the ones who pulled the trick on me the other night. I left them with my problem. But I had to, I couldn't let them see me like this. Plus, whoever the heck that was, they sounded relatively calm for a psychopath. I don't think they-

"So, trying to sneak off into the night are you?"

That voice. No. It couldn't be. How could she have gotten out here that quick? I turned around and about 20 meters back, there was indeed a girl standing there. She was shorter then me, by a good head length. Her hair was cut just above her shoulders, and it was green, barely lighter than my sweater. Her eyes matched, and it seemed like they were staring right through me. She was certainly better dressed for the weather then I was too. A blue jacket over black pants. Oh and the swords that Jack mentioned? They were on full display. She held a two foot long cutlass in each of her hands, both ready to slice and dice whatever she wanted. Looks like she wants to make me pay for flunking Sneak Attack 101.

"Ummmm, no, no," I stammered, trying to answer her question. "I'm just going to the bus…"

"Oh no you're not." She stepped forward. "You're not going anywhere, Reddy." She slid her right sleeve up, displaying a blue bracelet. "Not unless you can get by me, which I doubt."

Shit. Shit. Shit. What do I do? She has two swords, I have some pocket change, my iPod and my cell phone. Unless flailing her with my headphones will do anything, I'm screwed.

"Anyway, let's begin!" She charged at me, no emotion showing on her face. I was panicking inside, almost frozen to the spot. As she swung her sword, that's when it finally kicked in that moving might be a smart tactic. I dodged to the right, but she kept coming at me. Left, right, left, I don't know how I'm surviving this. I wasn't anywhere near this agile before.

"Gah, if you stayed still I could end this cowardly display quickly for you!" She was getting frustrated. "If you're going to be this annoying, you could at least try to attack me and give me a challenge!"

"With what? My bus pass?" I screamed. She slashed out, and I winced in pain. She got me on my left arm there. It wasn't massive, but there was blood.

"You can't attack and you're already getting tired enough to let me hit you. This is a really sad fight, I expected a lot more." She really knows how to rub things in.

She made a big move, going for the kill bringing a sword across the body, but I managed to fall backwards to avoid it. I was in the icy part of the street now. I could tell because she knocked me down with a shot to gut and I was sent skidding backwards on my butt, ending up about 15 meters away.

"Ha ha ha, wow. I'm sorry, I was wrong. This is just hilarious. Really, this is a battle? All right, fun time is over. It's time for you to go." She slowly made her way towards me, weapons poised to deliver a final blow.

I was just backing up, trying to buy myself even an extra second. What can I do? What kind of punishment was this? Are they even going to know I'm gone? It's not fair. I put my hand up instinctively, to protect my face. The cool wind seemed to be hitting me even strongly now. As if to sweep me away. I expected to hear my attacker slicing through me, but instead I only heard a slight "Ugh."

I looked up. She was still there, still looking rather angry, but now she had an extra addition. Her left arm was almost entirely encased in ice. Did a freak wind just save me? It wasn't that cold, was it?

"Hmph, I should have guessed as much," she said, pissed almost as much at herself then me. "The fact that you had no weapons pointed to a Zauber type. And Ice to boot? How stereotypical of you. Although the toque you have on should have led me to some stereotypical power too. I'm just being so fucking careless tonight!"

"Wait what, I did that? How the hell did I do that?" That was less an expression of disbelief and more an actual question. Was it hand position? Does it do it when I'm stressed? Can I just fire at will? Like I'm going to get any answers from this crazy chick.

"You are so clueless!" she exclaimed. "No matter, I'll beat you with one arm!"

She started coming at me again, but she was clearly suffering from some decreased mobility with the extra weight on her arm. I was able to scramble out of the way and back down the street. I could see her try to hack the ice off with her free arm, but she was having a very rough go of it. This gave me some time to try to figure out how I did what she said I did. OK, so I was running, nothing happened. I fell, nothing happened. I put my hand up like this, then….

My thought process was interrupted as I saw this somewhat blue energy pooling in my right hand. I was freaking out but it kept growing bigger. Finally it fired way up into the sky, catching the antenna on one of the skyscrapers. I could see the ice spread down, encasing it in ice that allowed the red blinking lights on top to shine through it with a prismatic effect. I just looked at my hand, amazed that it just conjured that. I held it out again and could see it flaring again. I have a weapon now. I looked up and saw my foe still trying to cut through the icy prison. A smirk slowly spread across my face.

"So, since you seem to know what's going on, I suggest you start coughing up some answers, such as why the hell you are coming after me when I'm trying to enjoy myself on a Sunday night!" I said as I came towards her, hand still at the ready.

"Hello? Red vs. Blue? Don't you know anything?" she said, the ice not putting a damper on her condescending tone. "Now accept your fate!"

She charged again, but this time, I was ready. A charged up ice ball came flying at her, and her right arm now shared the same fate as it's twin. She let out an anguished cry after seeing her other hand rendered useless. The sudden weight gain sent her crashing to the ground.

"Jeez, for someone who comes off as so smug and smart, you really don't know how to alter your battle strategy all too well. Oooh, I'm gonna charge! Doesn't work as well now that I know what I'm actually doing, does it?"

"You bitch. Don't you dare start taking that tone with me! You don't even know the basic concept of any of this!" That cocky tone from before was gone now, only anger remained. But still, I was in control of the situation, that's what mattered. I walked over and stood over her, asserting that control.

"Well, I know a bit more then I let on, but I'll let you start filling in some holes."

"Why don't you just kill me and get it over with? Fill your role!" I thought about it. It would make a fitting end after this unwanted combat. I looked at my adversary, about possibly finishing her off right now. But...no. I can't do it. I can't kill. Nothing above an insect anyway. Even the mice that frequented my house back home never saw my wrath. I just can't end a life. But I can't let her know that though. No, just gotta keep playing the frosty ice queen card. Maybe I can get some info out of her. Maybe even why this happened to me.

"I'm feeling generous tonight. You tell me what I want to know, and I let you go home to unthaw. Don't and you become a very pretty popsicle." I brought in a little bit of energy to prove my point. This is way too much fun. I'm so freezing my little brother's legs my next trip home.

"You're wasting your time. If your Messenger isn't going to give you all the details, why should I?"

"Well, you can at least start by telling me some basic info!" I was starting to get a little ticked off. Even in a completely vulnerable position, she was still giving me lip. "First, did you do anything to anyone back at the bar?"

"You were at the bar, were you?" I know I gave away some info with that question, but I had to know my friends were still safe. "No, I didn't do anything. I have no interest in slicing up neutrals. Not worth my time."

I sighed. So my cowardice didn't cause any harm. That's good. "Next question, who the hell are you?"

"Why should I bother telling you if you're ending me tonight?"

"Just answer the dang question!" I'm getting so sick of people and things jerking me around when I just want info.

"All right, fine. My name is…HYAA!" She reared up and kicked me right in the stomach. I fell backwards and into a nearby snow bank as she got up and ran, struggling to carry the blocks she had for limbs. She dashed down the street and quickly disappeared into the darkness.

God, what a bitch. That kick freaking hurt. I guess it serves me right for getting cocky like that. At least she wasn't wearing heels. That would have been even more painful.

I got up and brushed myself off. Looking at the clock on my cell phone, I decided there was no point in heading back to the bar. The set would have broken up by now anyway. I hiked up to the bus stop to finally make the trip home. After fighting for my right to live, I'm too tired to party.


	4. Chapter 4: Learning

(All right, I'm back ya'll! Back in the middle of nowhere out here in the Canadian Wilderness, but the exams are all done, and I can relax and enjoy my summer! This is the longest chapter I've written so far, lot of stuff, we find out who the mysterious attacker is, there will be fighting, little something for everyone. Hopefully. Anyway, enjoy! I'm going back to the usual Friday night activities!

You gotta fight for your right to party! But I can't fight for the rights to Kämpfer, I don't own them.)

* * *

I quickly shut the door after making the short walk from the bus stop to my house. Tonight was a disaster. Everything that could go wrong did, I'm still in Dead or Alive fighter form and what's worse now, somewhere in this city is a chick with two swords who wants to kill me. It's hard to see how this night could hit further then rock bottom.

I opened the door to my room, and found out how. An increasingly familiar voice called out, "Well hey, hot stuff! I can see you had a fun evening." That comment earned BK a smack off the desk and against the wall. Screw me owing it one. Anyone or thing that calls me hot stuff gets smacked.

"Oww, is this how you treat everyone who compliments you?" It slowly hobbled over towards the bed I now splayed out on.

"I am really not in the mood right now." I flipped the TV on to try and offer up a distraction.

"Anyway, judging from the fact that you are currently transformed, can I guess that you had your first encounter with another Kämpfer?"

"No, how did you figure that out?" I rolled my eyes in case it couldn't hear the sarcasm dripping from that question. "Yes, you were right on the money. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you sent her after me."

"Why the heck would I do that?" BK was starting to get a little ticked now. "If you die, I die, or rather just become a regular stuffed animal. I don't want to speed that process up, although with your attitude, it seems you do."

"Gah, why am I even talking to you?" I turned back to the screen, Homer's antics while cooking lobster starting to pick me up a bit after the earlier events.

I watched for about 1 show, then BK just walked up the bed towards me. It seems more willing to get close to me in this form, even after repeated hits. I dunno, it's a weird little ball of fluff, that's for sure.

"So how was it, did you actually fight or did you just run away?"

"I fought," I said. "I had to, she almost tore the bar apart looking for me, and then she cornered me, and I was like, why me? Before I could think my way out of it, she just attacked and I thought I was done for. But then, ice balls started flying out of my hand, and-"

"Ice balls?" BK was thinking about that, I could see it. "Ah, you must be the Zauber type then. They're the best type anyway, so much better then those other crazy types."

"Yeah, well they worked tonight, I froze her good. And as I had her struggling, and as I saw her there, fighting to try and avoid defeat, there were strange thoughts in my head, just about encasing her in ice, and storing her in a meat locker somewhere. Just for what she put me through."

"Good! Good! The thrill of being able stand over a vanquished enemy as you are about to snuff their flame is a great one indeed! I'm sure you savored it!"

"No. No I didn't. I don't like it. It's not a good feeling for me, it's not a natural feeling for me."

"Eh? Are you serious! That is what you are here for now, Ryan. You are here to kill your opponents! You can't waver!"

I just shook my head. "I couldn't do it, I can't do it. Especially when I don't see the point to it."

"What's to see? You are in this war, you kill your enemy, so says the Moderators. End of story."

"No, I don't want to. And I won't if I can avoid it. Not for a war I don't feel any real part of. I've just got to try and avoid fighting if possible, and control myself if I can't avoid it."

BK was just beside itself. "Ryan, trust me. If you don't fight, it will not work out. The Moderators don't like non-aggression. They will find out, they won't like it, and then more people will be sent after you. I can guarantee that."

"I don't care. I'll fight them if I have to, but I refuse to kill them. That's not who I am and that's the way its staying, in my normal form and in this one. Now bugger off, I'm going to sleep." I turned the TV off and shed all my clothes, chucking them in the corner. It's a shame, first naked female in my bed since I've gotten back to the city and just my luck it's me. God, I better be back to normal tomorrow. Ah well, sleep should fix it, it happened before. As I started to drift off, I could hear BK muttering to itself as it walked back to it's home on the desk.

"Why are the beautiful ones always so headstrong and stupid? I'll never understand."

Before I could think of what I wanted to say in return, I was already asleep.

* * *

Daybreak came, an unwanted daybreak. I hate Mondays. They're just a reminder that the weekend is done and gone, and it's back to the grind. The sun's its mean-spirited messenger.

Waking up, once again I'm back in my old body. I wish for once it would happen while I'm awake. I have to figure out how it's happening at some point. This is going to be hell to work with if I can't control it. I look over at my clothes. They haven't changed back, still shaped for a figure much bustier then mine. That's just great, I was going to wear that sweater again today. It's still good. Except for the slash …. and the slight blood stain. Ah maybe it's for the best.

I looked over at the cheap plastic alarm clock. It said Noon? The hell? I'm supposed to sleep in until 12:30! Sigh, whatever. Might as well get up now. BK was still passed out on the desk. Thank god. I don't think I can take any insults right now.

I can do this routine in my sleep now. In fact, I wish I was doing it in my sleep. Shower, shave, get dressed, pop a couple of pieces of bread in the old toaster, get out yogurt, turn on TV, see that the Oilers lost, get toast, slap on some PB and jam, get banana, eat, see that the Raptors lost, pop dishes in the dishwasher, come back to my room, scoop up laptop and off to class. Or it would be, if BK wasn't back awake when I came back to get my laptop. I thought I made it through without those red eyes staring over at me. So close.

"Where are you going now?"

"Um…class? I am a student, it's kinda what we do. It's necessary for passing."

"Well, just be careful. Schools are popular spots for battles. Huge collection of people, in the same area. Don't be surprised if you have to fight again today."

"Oh please, English lectures are so boring. I would be surprised if a funeral broke out, let alone a fight."

"Didn't you say something like that about your chances of fighting last night?" How come stuffed animals have memories like elephants?

"Look I'm late, I gotta go," I grabbed my heavy brown jacket and rushed out the door, slamming it, as well as BK's warnings behind me.

* * *

Why the heck did I wear this jacket? The sun was doing it's job today that's for sure. The ground was soggy with melting snow as I made my way out the back around to the street. As I passed by the big bay window on the floor above, Chris and Jack were there on the couch, watching TV. I gave a wave, but it didn't look like they saw me. Probably for the best after last night.

It's a quick walk to campus, which is good, because I probably would not be as likely to go to class if I was farther away. I had to hop over a couple of the larger puddles that started to form in the cracked sidewalk. If they were any bigger, I would have had to start doing parkour moves along the hills on the side.

I crossed campus to the imposing Henry building, it's the iconic building of MacMichael University with its old architecture and the huge clock tower in the middle. All the major money offices are in there, as well as some classrooms up on the second and third floors. After entering, I made quick work of the steep stairs on my way up in a desperate attempt to avoid being late. It worked though. As I entered the classroom, the English lecture hadn't started yet. I made my way to the back of the room, giving a nod to a couple of the other regulars who sit back there. The guy who sits in front of me is usually good to pump for info, he looks even older then me so he's probably got more understanding. Plus he quotes South Park, which always helps. Still don't know his name though.

This lecture really isn't grabbing my interest. Professor Miller is just going on about the opening part of Great Expectations, which I already know all about, again thanks to South Park. Between them, The Simpsons and Family Guy, I pretty much got all my cultural references covered, which surprisingly helps a lot in English. Still, this lecture is boring the hell out of me. Thank god the internet's actually working for a change in here.

I checked in on some of my usual sites. Facebook, bunch of people saying nothing in particular, Cracked, there was a pretty good article about the Top 6 Companies started by their founder's shitty luck. I spent about half the class on there just clicking the links.

Soon came time for my obligatory random point of the class. You know, just to give off some semblance that I might possibly be paying attention. Pretty easy to do, just take the last thing someone says, and add some bull interpretation. You can't be wrong. It's English.

Miller went on, "So what can someone tell me about the environment that Pip is growing up in here?"

Perfect, I can bull that one easy. I raise up my left hand, just to mix things up.

"Samantha?"

Her pick goes on about Pip's sister being a bitch, I just look around the classroom idly waiting my turn to spew when I notice it. On one of the up-stretched arms in front of me. That bracelet. That one so eerily similar mine, save for the color. That blue bracelet. It's not possible. It just can't be. Here? Again? But I didn't change or anything. Is that even really her?

I look her over, she definitely doesn't stand out as much as my combatant from last night. Non descript brown hair, running just above her shoulders, same length as the green hair. She's got a red hooded sweatshirt on, but I can't get any more details. It's hard to tell from looking at just the back of her head.

"Ryan?"

"Huh?" Who wants me now?

"You had your hand up?" Right, still in class.

"Oh yeah, I just wanted to say how I thought the forge setting was a very good choice, it shows the rough atmosphere needed to create something useable and durable, very much like the setting Pip is in right now."

"Yes that's a very good point." Whew! Bullshit saves me once again. "OK, Julia?"

No! That's not who you should pick! Pick my enemy! I need details on her! Come on Miller! You owe me! I spun gold with that forge bit, now come on!

"Interesting…OK, one more,…Erika?"

The bracelet went down. Moment of truth time.

Erika started, "Well, I think that Dickens…."

That's it! That's her! That voice is unmistakable! Except it's a lot calmer now, like she is just talking, no sign of the murderous intent that it held when we first met. Maybe she's just faking it for school? If so she's a pretty good actress. I mean now she sounds like someone you could have a productive conversation with.

"…and he makes an important point about the class structure of the time."

"Very good. Excellent. All right now moving onto the character of Joe…"

I can't pay attention to Miller now. Not after getting this info. From the sounds of things she's smart too, half that stuff actually sounded plausible…..I think. This is crazy. How am I going to handle this? Should I talk to her after class or would that just set her off? Should I wait until she tries to fight me again, spring it on her then, maybe get some control? I don't know.

I'm still trying to make sense of all this when I finally drift back into the lecture. I can hear Miller wrapping things up, and the clock on my laptop confirms this. What do I do? She honestly wouldn't fight here with all these other people around. Although she seemed willing to go in the Dub-D with all my friends in there and tear up the place.

"All right, I'll see you all on Wednesday," Miller said, ending the class.

I started packing up my computer. I pretty much just shoved it in there, while trying to make a decision.

All right, worst thing she can do is try and fight me here, and no one I actually know is here. I can just drop this class if things get out of hand. Yeah, I'm going to talk to her now. It's the best option.

I walked down the aisle, Erika was still talking to a couple of the people next to her. Awesome. I quickly made my way out of the room and hung around by the door, waiting for her to pop out. It took a few seconds but sure enough, she did just that, pulling the hood up over her head as she walked out. She wasn't moving that fast though, so it was easy for me to catch up.

"Hey Erika, you got a minute?" She turned around. She really doesn't have a stand out kind of face, peach colored skin, cheeks are a little rounded, nose is barely noticeable. The clothes didn't help, just the standard jeans and white shoes to go with the sweatshirt. She looks completely unremarkable, except for the eyes. Those green eyes, those ones that shot right through me last night, they were so soft now. Almost like a puppy.

"Ummmmm, OK, and you are?" She really does have such a different tone of voice then that cocksure harpy from before, there's a bunch of hesitation in her voice. Although given, random tall guys randomly asking questions probably doesn't help.

"I'm Ryan. I'm in your English class."

"OK yeah, you're in the back all the time, right?"

"Yeah, look, I need to talk to you about your bracelet."

She lifted her arm up as if she forgot she had it on. "Oh, I'm sorry, this is a custom made bracelet. You can't find it in any stores."

"Oh believe me," I replied. "I know." I slid up the right sleeve on my jacket, flashing my own jewelry to her. I could see the red catch her eye. It's pretty hard to miss.

She gasped. It was a noticeable one too. "Wait…no, you can't be…"

Sigh, she needs more convincing, of course. No one ever believes me. I slid my other sleeve up, showing off the cut left over from the battle before. It was still pretty noticeable too, right across my left arm. "I believe this is your handiwork from last night?"

"Oh my god. I…you…I…" At least it looks like its coming to her now, along with some tears. Christ, I really didn't want this sort of thing to happen, even if it is a better reaction then rage. "I am so sorry. I…"

"Look, it's OK, calm down, I just want to talk about all this."

"Well...I can't now, I have another class," Erika dried her eyes on her sleeve quickly as she said this. "I tell you what," she pulled out her notebook, ripped out a piece of paper and quickly jotted something down. "Come to this address at around 4pm and bring your Messenger. I'll tell you anything you want then."

She's being so nice now. If she didn't already confirm she was a Kämpfer, I'd swear I got the wrong person. Unless this is a trap or something. I wouldn't put it past her. She's obviously smart.

"This isn't a trap or anything is it?" Yeah like she's going to tell me if it is…

"No trap, I swear. Just come at 4, OK?" She dashed off down the hall.

I just stared at the address in my hand. I actually know this place, it's down past the train tracks, just before that arm of the sea comes in and separates the city from the Lakes district. Went down there during frosh week for the initiation ritual. So it's an actual house. That's a good sign I guess. Lot less likely to be a trap then a business or a vacant lot something. It looks like I'm finally going to get some more answers on this.

* * *

"So let me get this straight. You found your attacker, confronted her, and now she's inviting you to her house? And this doesn't sound suspicious?" BK asked from my shoulder as I made my way up the stone pathway to Erika's.

"Well that's what I thought at first, but she's a lot different now then she was when we fought. Plus she said it wasn't a trap."

"Oh well that totally sets my mind at ease. If she said so, it must be true. You want to know something else, Ryan? If you stick your tongue to a metal pole when it's cold outside, it tastes like ice cream!"

"Sigh, oh ye of little faith. Look, if she was really waiting in there to ambush me, don't you think I'd have changed and you'd be enjoying your perch a hell of a lot more?"

That shut BK up…..for a couple seconds. "OK, point taken, but why am I coming along for this ride anyway?"

"I dunno, Erika told me to bring you." I put on a more condescending voice. "Maybe her messenger's lonely and wants a friend. Wouldn't you like another friend, BK?"

"No, and if you take that tone with me again I'll plant my foot in your head."

"Oh no, soft plush toy striking my head, I'm worried."

"Knocked you out the other day."

"Whatever, just simmer down."

I went up to the bright red door that stood out from the eggshell white paint job on the house. It was a spacious house too, I hadn't really noticed that as I was walking up thanks to BK's bickering, although the neighborhood really should have tipped me off. Two stories, and it didn't look like your standard poor university student fare. There was no signs of divided levels, or multiple mailboxes. It was a mansion compared to my current living quarters. Bet there are no mice here either.

I rang the doorbell, hearing the chiming noise inside. I turned to BK, "Just play nice with the other Messenger in there while me and Erika have a little chat, OK?"

"No promises, especially if it ticks me off."

"Coming!" came Erika's voice from inside. So she's not rich. She has to answer her own door. Probably just rented this place with 10 of her girlfriends or something. This is going to be fun to try and keep quiet.

She opened the door, I could see the sweatshirt she was wearing earlier was now shed for a white t-shirt with some Japanese writing of some sort on it. Or Chinese, I don't know, I'm not an expert on that sort of thing.

"Hey Ryan, glad you could make it, come in. Is that your messenger? It's so cute!"

"Cute? CUTE? I should have expected insults from the enemy! I'll have your eyes for that!" I could tell that Erika was a bit taken back from BK's unique style of greeting people, judging from the wide look in her eyes.

"Sorry, you'll have to excuse Barbecued Kangaroo. It doesn't have very good people skills…or any skills." I could see the evil eye BK was attempting to give me, it's a lot less threatening when it's coming out of a bead. I walked in, the lobby was huge. High ceiling and everything. "So, this is your place huh?"

"No, it's my parents place, but they're always busy. You know, work and stuff. Dad's got one of the biggest steakhouse chains in the East, so he's flying out a lot, and Mom goes with him to keep an eye on him. It's so lame, but you know it means I get the run of the place most of the time. Do you want a drink or anything?"

"Nah, I'm good for now, maybe later. But yeah, do you want to go somewhere to talk?" I was eager to start getting some info.

"Of course. Come on, we can go up to my room."

She started to lead the way up the stairs to top floor. This really was an incredible house. As I looked down the hall I could see the kitchen, stainless steel appliances and marble countertops shining as the sunlight banked in off them. Even the railing on the staircase was shiny, looked like it was brass. As we made it to the top and turned down the hall, I could see into a room or two. One was decked out like a fitness room, treadmill, barbells, bike, the works. The bathroom had the same marble as the kitchen, and the faucets were all in the same plating as the stairs. I don't think I've seen this kind of luxury. I mean, when your dad is the guy who's willing to drink expired orange juice just to save a buck or two, you really don't know what luxury is, but this, all this. This had to be it.

"Here it is," Erika opened up the door.

I really wasn't prepared for what I was seeing. The room was huge, that I expected. But it was kinda weird, it was a room of two halves. The first half was centered around a bookcase along the far wall. It was just loaded with all these trophies, medals and certificates, and there were even more certificates tacked up on the wall around it. They all looked like commendations of some sort. But the rest of it, it looked like something straight out an anime fan's wet dream. Posters, action figures, various props littered shelves around the room. There was another bookshelf on the opposite side of the room and it was filled to the point of bursting with various manga volumes. I recognized a couple of characters on the wall thanks to stuff I watch with my friends back home. Sasuke was represented, as was Ichigo, and there were a couple of Pokemon figures kicking around, but most of them, I had no clue who they were. Just a bunch of girls with weird hair and guys who look way too much like girls for their own good. There was a lot of high-quality technology here as well. Her desk had a computer that looked state of the art, the light fixtures looked like they belonged in a fancy McDonald's or something. I could see speakers in the walls, and there was an iPod dock that didn't appear to be plugged to anything. Must be for those speakers. The floor here matched outside, all hardwood, but it felt warm, like she had in floor heating or something. Either way, this room was a lot more impressive then mine.

"Sorry about the room, I know, it's a little embarrassing," Erika snapped me out of the awestruck state I was in.

"No, no, it's definitely not that," I came back. "Just uh, admiring. Quite the collection of stuff you have here."

"Eh? Who's that? Is there someone here Erika?" I heard a voice coming from somewhere. I looked around for the source.

"Yeah there is, come on out."

From out behind a pair of the stuffed plush toys came another one, a smaller one. It was like a little raccoon, only it had an unfortunate run in when going for garbage. It sported a hole in its head from which there was a little stream of red running down. There were a few more on its stomach and it shared BK's pink tail from the gash the multiple holes created in the front.

"Ryan, meet Buckshot Raccoon."

"I think you're the first person Erika's had here since I met her! That's good."

"Huh, you sound just like Kaley Cuoco. That's a lot more pleasant then BK's voice." I was expecting to hear a retort but got nothing. I reached down to give it a little pat, but I forgot which hand should be kept away from something that got a warrior sent after me.

"The red devils!" it exclaimed. "Erika! How could you bring the enemy here where we are most vulnerable!"

BK picked now to end its silence. "We're the enemy? You blues are the ones who are the enemy! You and you're smarmy smugness!"

"Big talk for a group that fights like a 3 year old! I heard how cowardly your Kämpfer was!"

"Oh that's it! You die now, you midget rodent!" BK leaped off my shoulder and onto Buckshot Raccoon, and they immediately started tangling. I would've been worried, but they were stuffed toys. What's the worst they could do to each other? I was more surprised BK actually stood up for my honor. That's new.

"Well, nice to see they're getting along," Erika said, joking. "Would you like to sit down?" She motioned to the chair next to her computer, there was also a bean bag chair with a couple of anime faces on it.

"Sure." She went over and grabbed the computer chair, so I sunk into the bean bag. For being a weird TV show tie-in, it was pretty comfy.

"You know," she started, "it took me an hour to get all that ice off my arms."

"Yeah sorry about that…"

She shook her head. "You did what you had to do. I mean, I was going to kill you. Thankfully, you stopped me."

"It was more for me then you, but no prob. So yeah, what don't we start from the beginning? How did you get tied into this?"

Erika looked out the window. "It was a few weeks before Christmas. I was looking online for a present to get my best friend Katie, she's out West for school now and, she's into anime almost as much as I am, so I went onto this Japanese site online. They had this cute set of Lucky Star figurines and I thought those would be perfect for her. So I ordered them and when they came a couple weeks later, Buckshot Raccoon was in the box with them." She motioned over to the toy that BK now had on the ground by the tail, its foot planted on the raccoon's head. "I figured it was a special gift or something since I took out insurance and express shipping and everything on those figurines, but when I woke up the next day, it was talking and I had green hair. And at that point, I felt like I had this insane power. I could screw the rules, take no prisoners, but I couldn't figure out what specifically I wanted to do. Buckshot Raccoon told me I had to destroy the red Kämpfers, so I made that my goal. I didn't know where any were, but I knew the second I saw one, I would take them down. When I went back to normal, all those thoughts were gone, and I was a little worried about what was going on."

"But you can control it right now, right? Like, you don't feel like you want to do anything violent?" I asked that a little nervously.

"No, of course not, I don't want to hurt anyone." WHEW! "But in that form, I was given a goal, and I'm a very goal oriented person. You can probably tell with all the awards and stuff. It's more extreme when I change though, it's like that goal is all that matters, it feels like all of my brain is only working towards that, and I'll just ignore anything else. Whenever I changed after that first day, all I did was practice handling my swords, to get better, to prepare myself. It was like studying, only with sharp things. But I never worked on any plans of attack, I just figured the swords would do all the work for me. I don't know why, it's not like me."

I was just nodding along at this point. Erika's making her alter ego sound a lot more psycho then I initially thought. Really hope she doesn't decide to show up right now. Maybe I can empathize.

"I think I know what you mean. When you were down, and I had that power in my hand, that possibility of just icing you right there, I had to fight it a little bit to keep it down. I don't know if that's just part of the bracelet, or just wanting revenge for what you almost did to me. You were being a real bitch at that time."

"Gee thanks, Ryan. But if that's true, how come you kept control so easily? It seems like the bracelet just completely takes over when I change."

I shrugged. "Maybe I'm special, or maybe it feels the whole guy to girl thing is change enough and if anything else happened I would snap. I dunno, I'm only two days into this whole Kämpfer thing."

"Two days? I guess that's why the fight was so one-sided at first."

"Yeah, thanks for the prep time on that. So speaking of which, how were you able to track me down at the bar? I still don't know how that's possible."

"Well, I was walking up Kamensky Street after eating dinner down at Bobby's, I wanted to catch the bus, but the my bracelet went off and I changed into my Kämpfer form. That never happened when I didn't initiate it first, not for a while anyway, and Buckshot Raccoon told me that if it did, it meant an opponent was nearby. So I went looking around the area, and in any places that were open at the time. And late Sunday night, I knew there wouldn't be many, so I just searched all the places that were open until I found you in the street there."

"Makes sense, I guess."

"I had to run home after getting incapacitated like that, I knew I couldn't get that ice off in the street, especially with it being that cold, but when I got it off and I changed back, I was feeling so bad, just like 'I finally found a person who can try to help with the situation, who knows what I'm going through, and I almost turned her into sushi.' I didn't think I'd ever get a chance to explain, to try and figure out what to do about this. I was just so taken back that you actually found me, which is good because I don't think I ever would have expected you to be her."

"Don't worry, I wouldn't have believed it either if I didn't happen to be living it."

She laughed slightly at that. Its true though. I still can't fully believe it.

"So do you know anything more about this whole war thing? BK didn't tell me jack shit about any of it." I looked over at BK to see if it heard, but it was too busy putting Buckshot Raccoon into a headlock.

Erika moved towards her computer. "Well all I know is all I can get from Google, and info on this situation is pretty limited, but I what I think is correct, we aren't the first people to be drafted into this war." She pulled up a couple of documents. "I started searching for what kind of toy Buckshot Raccoon was, and the closest thing I found were these."

I looked at the screen, and there were a bunch of animals looking similar to BK. They all had the little pink tails on the front, and they all had various things done to their faces and bodies.

"These are called Entrail Animals, because they all have their guts sticking out of their stomachs."

"That's what those pink things are? Gross, I kept picking BK up by it…"

"Haha, yeah, that's what they are. But anyway, according their website, the largest collection of Entrail Animals belonged this girl, Kaede Sakura. I only looked it up because I thought if I started changing after I got Buckshot Raccoon maybe that's the trigger for becoming a Kämpfer. With you bringing Barbecued Kangaroo, this is only confirming this for me. And if that the case, whoever has the most of these animals is the most likely to have the most triggers."

I was still a little confused at the thought process, but I guess it made sense. It was only after I picked up BK that this whole thing started. "OK," I said, feigning comprehension.

"Anyway, back to Kaede. She's from a small city in Japan that's only newsworthy for one other thing. About four years ago, they started having a lot of accidents in the area, streets blown apart, forests on fire, gunshot holes all over the city. There were a lot of incidents. I was really just grasping at straws when I tried checking to see if this might be related, Buckshot Raccoon told me Kämpfer had a variety of powers, but sure enough, they looked to be linked. The last major attack occurred about six months ago, it was the biggest one the local authorities had to deal with, the central park had to be completely written off, and right after they last one, that's when Kaede here turned up on a missing persons report. They questioned four of her classmates, who were cited as persons of interest due to them having been constantly seen together, but they had no info. It was big news all over Japan, since she was pretty and popular, you know how those missing girl stories are. But anyway, she hasn't been seen since. Not a trace."

"So you think this is all related to this war? That seems a little farfetched."

"It's just a theory, but still it's the best I've been able to come up with for any kind of precedent for what's going on now. If I'm right, it looks like whoever got the lucky bracelets were somehow able to break free since there haven't been any incidents like this in the city since."

"So there's hope? That's great! What do you think about that, BK?" I turned to gloat. BK was now the one on the ground. Buckshot Raccoon had it's little plush arm firmly on top of what I would think would be BK's neck. "Hah, what happened there? You were doing well last time I checked."

"Ugh, I was doing fine until I tried to hear what you two were talking about. You guys distracted me, and this rodent attacked while my back was turned."

"Blue over Red, every time!" the raccoon stated. "Doesn't matter how, it just always happens."

"Shut up! I'll tear your stuffing out!"

"Jeez, I'm starting to think maybe I should get BK out of here. Plus it's getting late anyway. I have an assignment I have to do for Science class in the morning too."

"No of course, I have work to do as well. But uh, here," She handed me a slip of paper. "That's my cell phone number. We should be able to contact each other, just in case we find out any more info about this whole thing, or something should come up."

"Totally. I'll send you a text when I get back. That way you'll have my number too."

"Good, good. You need a taxi or anything? I can call someone to give you a ride."

"No that's OK, I actually only live a couple streets over. I can walk it."

She walked me and BK down to the door. I pretty much had to tear it away from its new rival. If nothing else this trip has given me something to deflect BK's anger onto.

"OK, thanks again Erika. I'll talk to you later, eh?"

"Sure, and I'll see you in class on Wednesday."

"Yep, more Dickens. Yay."

"Haha, of course."

"All right, later."

"Bye, Ryan." I turned away and I could hear her shut the door behind me. I started back towards my house.

"What a pointless wa-," I slammed my hand over BK's mouth before it had the chance to go any farther.

"Remember, no talking in public. Don't need articles in the paper about my miracle talking toy, right?" I could hear BK grumble something, couldn't tell specifically what it said, but it seemed to get the message.

As the sun started to set, I continued walking. I got a lot of info to think about. It seems like Erika herself is on the up and up, she wants the same thing I do, to not be a part of this war. Two brains working on the same problem are better then one. The only problem is her Kämpfer form, the only thing she looks to want to do with my brain is chop it into pate. If I ever run into that side of her again, I don't know. One unlucky slash and it could be all over. Plus that raccoon of hers seems intent on fanning the flames. But whatever, things are looking a lot better then they did before. If she's right and there is a way for us to get out of this war, then maybe we can do it. It's a long shot, and I don't even know how to go about doing it, or what it entails, but it's still a chance and that's a lot better then I had at the start of the day.


	5. Chapter 5: Breaking

(**I LIVE!** Yeah, seriously, sorry its been a while on this, I barely did any writing over the summer. I don't know what happened, just a lack of motivation I guess. But back in school, I finally started working on this again, snowballing it, get my ideas straightened up, and Chapter Five finally rose from the dead, completely animated on Halloween night. So enjoy everyone, I'm sure the next chapter won't take me near as long to post up.

If you believe I own the rights to Kämpfer, then I've got a bridge in Detroit to sell you.)

* * *

I walked up the side street leading to the back entrance of the house, feeling a lot better then when I left today. At least now I know I'm not alone in this crazy Kämpfer thing. I turned into the gravel driveway that led to the scattered parking spots in between the row of houses, and I could see the blue sedan parked in front of mine. That's not good. I checked my iPod, it had a time of 6:33PM. That could only mean one thing.

"All right BK, you're going to have to stay buried in my pocket now."

"No way! Your pocket smells bad! Like stale gum and dirt and old money mixed into one!"

"You don't have a choice in the matter. Just stay down until we're back in my room!"

"Can I at least have a straw or something to help combat the smell?"

"No. Now suck it up."

I shoved my iPod back into my pocket on top of BK. If it doesn't keep it down, maybe the bright light and pretty album pictures will distract it. I trudged up the rocky steps on the back lawn, towards the door, underneath the deck that was frequented by my friends above for whenever they wanted to barbecue. Hopefully I could just make it back to my room without any hassle. I pushed in the green door and made my way inside.

"Ryan!"

Well, so much for making it without any hassle.

"Ryan! Stop leaving your glasses out! When you're done drinking, put them in the dishwasher!"

"I was going to use it later, Britt. That's why I left it out. I know how a dishwasher works."

Ah, Brittany. Possibly the only downside to living in this place. She packs a lot of yelling into that smallish frame of hers, I don't know how, she's really kinda skinny. It doesn't look like it should be physically possible. All that volume coming out from under that mottled mess of long brown hair. Her brown eyes clenched shut while the fury pours out. And it does come out on a regular basis. Normally she's not home when I get back from classes, due to her being away all day while at dental school. But I guess my meeting with Erika delayed me enough to give her this opportunity to express herself.

"Well don't! It's gross! Just get a new glass!"

"That wastes water. Don't want to be hurting the environment now, do you Britt?"

"That doesn't even make any sense! It's the same amount used when the dishwasher goes anyway! Now put it away!"

I made my way to the kitchen, Brittany watching me like a hawk the whole way. But instead of going for the glass, I went to the fridge and took out my pitcher of orange punch. Then I grabbed the glass and slowly poured out another drink for myself. I took a sweet sip right in front of her, then slid to the side as I headed back around.

"Hey Stef," I said as I passed the couch.

"Hey," came the reply from the tiny girl sitting there, eating some chicken fingers. Stephanie is like the polar opposite of Brittany. She's so quiet. I barely see her even when she's supposed to be home, since usually she stays in her room. I know she's out a lot, she's in the same dental school as Brittany, that's probably how they came together to rent the place, but since I've been here, there's been a fair amount of tension between them. I don't know what the deal is, and personally, I can probably do without knowing. All I know is that when I moved into the place, I was seen as a swing vote between the two of them. I know Brittany was upset when I decided to take Kyle's approach of just staying out of the whole situation, maybe that's why she's been such a hardass.

"I'll be in my room if you need me," I said, knowing that my presence would not be required unless the place was on fire.

As I finally accomplished my long awaited goal of flopping down on the skinny bed, I let the gravity of the events of the day finally settle on me. Knowing that it was now safe, I could feel Barbecued Kangaroo fight its way out of my pocket, my iPod cast aside as it stood triumphant.

"Augh!" it exclaimed as it faked some heavy breathing. "I didn't think I was going to make it! The smell of old Juicy Fruit was almost deadly!"

"Wait a minute. You're a stuffed animal. How the heck can you smell anything?"

"I can talk too. Want to try to explain that one?"

"Whatever." I'm not even going to try to get into the anatomy of how BK exists as it does. I'm no science student.

"Ugh, I can see why you don't want me seen out there. I don't know how you put up with that harpy's screeching. I would have given her a good swift kick to the chops. It's best I stay in here."

"Well there is a multitude of reasons why I want you in here instead of out there, but it's nice to know that you found one that's to your liking."

I reached for my phone, taking off it's charging spot on the floor by the radiator. Probably not the best spot for it, but it's a piece of junk anyway. I pulled out the piece of paper that Erika gave me and quickly punched the number into my phone's address book. Fingers still flying, I sent off a quick text. [Here u go, dis my #, txt only, its LD 2 call.] It kills me to have to type like that, but the character limits decree that I have too.

"What did you do? I want to see! Who are you texting? That blue whore?" Amazing BK knows about texting. I didn't know toys were that up on technology.

I shot BK a disapproving look. "Whore? That's a pretty quick judgement, isn't it?"

"I calls 'em as I see 'em. Anyway, are you texting that blue whore?"

The look turned into another one of my eye rolls. "Yes, I am texting Erika. I told her I would, and she's the only other person I can actually talk to about any of this, so it's going to be happening a fair bit."

"Fraternizing with the enemy is a bad idea. You're just going to speed up the process of getting the Moderator of the area involved, and it's going to be bad when they get involved. It means they're angry, and you won't like a Moderator when they're angry."

"Oh no! Are they going to smash me into pieces? Christ." My sarcastic retorts were punctuated by my phone's buzzing. I checked it to see that Erika had sent me a reply. [Awesum. I wil try 2 remember not 2 cal.]

[Good stuff], I texted back. Now that that was complete, I tossed my phone onto the floor beside my computer. I brought the laptop up onto my bed and opened Pokerstars, to try to pass some time while I waited for Brittany to vacate the kitchen so I could get supper.

* * *

Over the next few days, me and Erika started sending texts back and forth, just to try to get to know each other a little better. We didn't talk of anything really groundbreaking, it was mostly stuff like favorite music, movie, food, you know, standard fare. We sat together in English too, it was a bit of a compromise. Since I was usually in back, and she was up front, we sat in the middle. There's not much difference really. I'm still far enough back that I can surf the web and not look suspicious.

By Thursday, we were acquainted enough that I invited her to come out to my usual trivia night with me. Every Thursday night since I first started going to MacMichael, I would head out to the student bar, the Black Stripe, and would compete in the trivia contest there. It was a fun time, and if you did well, you won free beer. Since I earned my way into the university on the strength of a trivia competition, it means I have a natural advantage, and usually means I drink for cheap . Things have declined since our team's heyday, when me, Amber, Allan, Chipmunk and Charles were a feared fivesome, regularly in the Top 3. However, Allan and Chipmunk graduated and went back to their hometowns and Charles dropped out and headed back to my hometown, so we're nowhere near as good as before. Me and Amber still give it a go, and she usually brings her friends so we at least have a team. I think Erika's the first person I've actually brought to the group since I've come back.

Tommy wasn't hosting this week, it was Daniel's turn in their two man rotation, and no offence to the guy, but he sucks at hosting. He doesn't know how to do any song clips, his questions are weird and sometimes he can't even get them right. Plus, I don't think we've won any beer when he's hosted. Maybe he just throws me off. I don't know.

We grabbed a pretty good booth, right in front of Daniel's eye line, good for the prize questions. Amber and three of her friends came in a few minutes later, as usual. As I thought, she was surprised I had someone else here, and made a remark about what I had to do to get Erika to the bar. I shook it off. Amber had a right to free stabs at me I afforded few others. She was the President of my dorm floor during my first year, and it was her and Chipmunk that brought me over for trivia night in the first place. Even though she graduated, she still liked to come down for a night of random questions, a passion we both shared. Never been anything more than friends though, plus she's like three years older than me. Anyway, there was no time to dwell on the comebacks I could have shot back with. The burgers were arriving at the table, and Daniel was getting ready with Question Number 1.

* * *

Things were actually going pretty well for once under Daniel's reign. We were sitting in fifth place after the first two rounds, and we were picking up steam. I thought we were building up for a good comeback, the questions were bending our way. Figured we were a lock for the max five points for naming Harry Potter's Quidditch teammates in the Philosopher's Stone. But the other questions were tough ones, and when Daniel read out the answers he was sure to note that Katie Bell joined in the second year, so that was a wrong answer. I took some heat for rejecting Jamie's answer of Angelina Johnson, that turned out to be right. When all was said and done we came in forth, two points back of the beer. Pretty disappointing. Thought for sure we had it.

With no free pitchers to keep them here, Amber and her group headed out right after Daniel bid farewell to the stage. There was a quick wave, a sweep of the jackets and just like that they were out the front door. I was used to this abandonment. It happened every time without a podium finish. It was so routine I almost forgot this time I wasn't alone.

"Well, that was fun. I didn't even know they had events like this at the bar. Can I come again next week?" Erika's enthusiasm was a nice thing to see. It was something missing from the trivia scene since those glorious Thursdays of two years ago.

"Of course," I replied, smiling back. "Hey, maybe next week can actually crack the Top 3 and get some free beer."

"That would be nice. I probably wouldn't drink any, but still, I like winning."

"Haha, well, I guess we'll have to make sure to pull it off then. Come on, I'll take you home. Don't need you running into the Sleepwatcher or anything."

A nervous laugh came from Erika's lips. "Right, let's go."

As we left the bar, I looked for the familiar Cougar Caravan hoping for a lift back instead having to hoof it, but it was nowhere to be seen. I'll have to remember to yell at Adrian for not being here. Last time I buy him a slice of pizza.

It was another cold walk back to Erika's house, but for me, it was much less of a bother then on other treks I made. I dunno, having Erika to tag along for a good chunk of the journey home, its nice. It's something I haven't been able to do in a while, I know that. Have a nice little walk with a girl without being a third wheel or being asked why I'm following her. It's been almost half a year since my last relationship ended, and I haven't come anywhere close to getting myself into another one. Erika's the closest prospect I got and I just starting talking to her four days ago and that was only after she tried to kill me. Still, it's things like this that I miss about having someone else in my life in that way.

We discussed where the night went wrong score wise, Erika wanting to know where she could improve to try to make the team a bit more balanced. She was really getting into this. Who knows? We might be able to give the super groups a run for their money sometime if she's serious about this.

It wasn't long before we arrived back at her palatial house, even in the darkness it stood out amongst everything. It's impossible to miss. Even as we walked up the pathway, it wasn't getting any less grander. It must be the lights, I'm sure it didn't look this way in the daytime.

"Well, thanks for tonight, Ryan. I'll uh….I'll see you in class tomorrow, right?"

"I haven't gotten nearly enough beer in me to be hungover tomorrow, so that's a definite probably."

"OK then, I'll see you then." With a wave goodbye, Erika shut the door. Bit abrupt but I guess it is late.

I turned around and started to make my way for my own home. I allowed for one look back as I headed down towards the sidewalk. That place really is something, my parents house looks like a crude shack compared to it. And my current house? Christ, her basement is probably bigger than the whole place. Some people just get the breaks. I wish I could win the lottery. Maybe I should buy a ticket tomorrow, I gotta have some luck coming to me, right?

I got out to the pavement and made the turn back for Auburn Street, my iPod's headphones slowly snaking their way out of my pocket, guided by my hand to my ears. I was just about to crank up some Hot Hot Heat to serve as my theme song for my trip when I heard a voice behind me, just before the guitar started up.

"Hey!"

I pivoted around, wondering who the hell would be calling after me at this time of night and how much spare change I would have to give them to avoid being mugged, but it was surprising to see that my change would get to stay put. It was a girl, a big one, one who looked like a dozen midnight walks would not even make a dent in her bulk. The puffy black coat she was wearing just made it look worse, and the green woollen hat shoved over the messy brown hair completed the ridiculous image. There was something about her that was familiar, but I'm pretty shit with names, so it probably wouldn't help anyway.

"Ryan, hey, how's it going?"

"Um…not bad I guess. Trying to get home, you know?"

"You don't remember who I am do you?" How was she able to figure that out? Usually I'm better at disguising the fact that I don't remember names. Must be the beer working against me.

"Um, no, can't say that I do. I know a lot of different faces but not near as many names."

"Figured that. I'm Samantha, we're in the same English class, remember now?"

Right. The brown-nosing bitch. Her…Still can't really figure out what she's doing... "Sure, now I remember. Of course. So, uh, what are you doing out here this late?"

"Oh you know, just walking. I'm actually kind of glad I ran into you, I wanted to talk to you about something." This is setting off my bullshit detector already. Probably thinks I have an in on Miller since I took her class before, or just my luck she'll have a crush on me. Why do I always attract the big ones?

"Well, whatever it is, you can ask me tomorrow in class. I'm heading home to bed." And I backed up what I said, turning to continue walking home until I heard a distinct click sound. The kind of click sound that says you are now fucked. Have a nice day.

I spun back around to see exactly what made that click sound. A Beretta 92 9mm pistol. In Samantha's hands, pointed at my head. "Oh, I really think we should talk about things now," she insisted.

"Sam, what the fuck? What, you want my wallet? Have it, just 87 cents and an expired EB Games card in there."

"Like I need that," she said coming closer. "And if you call me Sam again, I'm going to blow your balls off. No, the only thing I need from you is to get fighting."

"What are you-" That's when I saw the white bracelet on Samantha's gun hand. Except for the color, it's just like mine. "Son of a bitch, you've gotta be kidding me. Are they just giving those bracelets away in English class now? What the fuck?"

"That's right, but unlike you, I don't have to fight. Not unless one of you red or blues gets stupid ideas like not actually trying to eliminate the other. Then I have to come and deal with it."

"Well, how did you know I was one? I don't exactly advertise that I turn into a chick with magical fighting abilities. Like that would get me any action."

"You'd be surprised." I don't want to know about any of that. "No, I've known Erika was a Kämpfer for a while. In fact that's why I got chosen by the Moderator of the area. Because I could keep tabs on her until someone else appeared. When she showed up in class and went back to sit with you, I figured something was up. I mean, you've been back there by yourself the whole month and now all of a sudden you attracted her to your little perch? Couldn't be for your looks." Wow. Are all these Kämpfer people jerks like this? I mean, I've only met four and half of them have called me ugly. That hurts. "When she agreed to go to the bar, first time she's been out this term incidentally, and you were there, I became more suspicious. Then, I finally got confirmation. You were careless putting up your right hand for that prize question."

"My other arm got tired. That bugger Daniel wouldn't pick me."

"So it was just a matter of following and waiting until you guys said your goodbyes and I could corner you. Convince you of your task at hand. You get what I'm saying Ryan?"

Yes, teacher. Damn Kangaroo's right again. "Well I guess so, but it's not going to work. I'm not doing it."

"Oh I'm not giving you a choice." Suddenly her bracelet gave off a bright white flash. While I was blinded, I could feel it happening again, same as at Double D, that weird skin-crawling feeling. When I could see again, I could see that she had switched me into Kämpfer mode. It's really not fair that I'm the only one that doesn't know how to frigging go in and out of it. At least I got to keep my jacket this time.

"Wow, that's actually pretty nice. Hell of a lot better than I was expecting. It's a shame you won't fight, you make a beautiful warrior." Great. Now she IS hitting on me. Definitely not going to happen.

"Well now what? Still not going to fight you."

"You know, it's amazing how quickly people are willing to change their opinions once they have bullets flying at them." With that she lifted her pistol back up and started firing at me. I had to leap out of the way as they skidded by where I once stood. She was just standing there laughing. "Hahaha, dance Ryan dance!" Fucking bitch.

I rolled to my feet in the middle of the street and started running, hearing the bullets hit the ground behind me. Outrunning bullets is pretty sweet actually, I couldn't do that before. When I heard the shooting stop, signifying the end of Sam's clip, I stopped running. I held out my hand, hoping that another ice ball could end her as quickly as it ended Erika the other night. I could feel it, pooling, and it was ready to fire in relatively no time. "I don't feel like dancing!" I retorted as I sidearmed my magic like a Darren O'Day fastball. Just like O'Day, I missed badly as Samantha got out of the way with ease, watching the ball shatter apart over the arm of the ocean behind the rows of houses. She moves way too well for someone her size.

"You're a Zauber too? If you weren't such an idiot, you'd be the perfect Kämpfer." More unwanted compliments. Yay.

"Why do people keep saying that? What's so special about me that I can shoot ice out of my hand…aside from the obvious?" I used this break in the bullet fire to get to my feet and circle around.

"Zauber's are like a good low-fat ice cream," she explained. Like she knows about low-fat. "They don't show up on the market very often, and when they do, they're highly sought after. You're acting like mint chocolate though. Nobody wants that flavor, so it just ends up hitting the trash bin."

"Not with you around it won't, and even if it did you'd just eat it anyway. The whole bucket."

"Shut up! I'm not fat! I have a healthy body type!"

"Healthy for a hippo." Zing!

"Fuck you!" She had finished reloading and was about to start firing again when we both heard the door slam shut off to the side, followed by rapidly approaching footsteps. I turned to see Erika; green hair blazing, cutlasses drawn, charging at the battle. Yes thank god. Finally I get some backup. About time I got a break.

"Eri-" was all I could get out as she tackled me to the snow-covered asphalt.

"I've got you now Reddy! I knew you wouldn't stay away forever!" Fuck me indeed. She tried to bring in the swords for a quick slice, but I regained enough composure to grab her arms. I got more strength then her, my still guy proportioned body giving me the advantage in the close range combat Erika turned this fight into.

"For fucks sakes! Will you get off me?" The only answer I got was laughter, but not from the girl I was grappling with.

"Hahaha, well at least one of you knows what they're supposed to do! Makes my job easier. I think I'll just let her take care of you then. See you later Erika, and it doesn't look I'll be seeing you later there, bitch. Ciao!" Samantha started running down the other street, back towards campus. I've thought it before, and I'll think it again. Fucking bitch.

Erika was trying her hardest to turn me into a jack o' lantern, but I did get the upper hand, bending her arms back enough to let me get some traction underneath me. I rolled over, throwing her to the ground as I was now on top. Good thing too because that snow was freezing.

"Erika will you snap out of it already?"

"How the hell did you figure out my name, reddy? What, they giving out psychic powers now?" So she's got amnesia in this form? Well that's just great. What other clichés are going to busted out?

"Erika, we met the other day in class. It's me, Ryan. We literally just saw each other ten minutes ago!"

"Ryan? Strange name for a girl. Your parents must have really wanted a boy."

"I am a guy, and listen to me Erika, we're friends. I don't know why you don't believe it, but it's true. And you don't have to do this!"

"Sure I do, that's the goal here. To eliminate all you reddies."

"Why then? Why is that the goal? Do you even know?"

"That's not important! What's important is completing it."

"That's a stupid way to live and you know it! If you don't know why you're doing something, then what is the point of doing it? You've got to think for yourself for a change, instead of blindly doing what your told! That's how the world changes for the better, that's how potentially evil events are stopped. Think about what you're doing!" I don't know why the hell I have to go all philosophical on this situation, but I've gotta try to break through to the Erika that doesn't answer things with slicing and dicing. And it looks like it may be working a bit. She hasn't had anything to say back to me immediately on this one.

"Well then what is the point of all this Ryan, if you know so much about it?"

"I don't know. I want to find out though. That's why I want to try to band together. Two people working on this will have a lot more success than one, especially if we have to go through people like Samantha to get it."

She looked away from me, down the street. "Even if I wanted to help you, why would I trust you? If I recall you froze my arms in blocks of ice."

"Because you were trying to kill me! God dammit! You know who I am! Will you just try to fucking remember who you really are for one second!"

"I know who I am. I don't know who you are. I only know of one Ryan and I just don't see the resemblance. Must be the tits."

"Fucking hell, Erika, look at me! Look into my eyes!" I grabbed her face and turned it back to mine. I could see tears spattering on her cheeks. My tears. I don't even care right now, she's just being so stupid. "Please. I don't want to try and get these answers alone. I need your help. Please." I don't think I've ever been this emotional in my life and if this doesn't sway her, then I don't what I'm going to do.

Erika's eyes kept staring into mine, and then I saw it, a flicker, like maybe there was a realization, or maybe something got in her eyes, I don't know, but that steely gaze she gave before was melting away into a look I remember from earlier today.

"Ryan. I…I believe you." Thank you Sweet Zombie Jesus! "I'll…I'll be able to help you, I think." It sounds like original Erika is more in control now. Which is good because bitch Erika was really pissing me off. "That's really you, huh? It's not too bad."

"That seems to be the consensus, but I'm really not enjoying this. Freaking emotions, for one thing. That was the first time I've cried in years." That got a laugh out of her.

"Help me up." I did as she asked, getting up and then lifting her to her feet. She started brushing the snow off herself, probably was freezing without her jacket. "Thanks. I'm sorry about all that, I…couldn't think straight, and I didn't realize that was you and I was still sure I had to kill the reds and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I held up my hand to try to get her to stop. "That's all right, what matters is you believe me now, and you have control over yourself."

"Yes. And I agree with you. I want to know what this all about too. I think we should try to get what we can out of Samantha."

"Awesome." I looked around, the street was still empty, no random people walking by, no police sirens brought by the sounds of gunfire. How did we manage to pull that off? "So, um, I don't think I can really go home like this. You mind if I just crash here for the night? Until I change back?"

"You mean you don't know how? It's pretty easy, watch." She closed her eyes for a second, and she was glowing for a second there before it faded. She stood looking completely normal, brown hair back in place.

"Yeah, haven't quite gotten the hang of that yet." I tried to do it once just for show, and predictably I failed. "See, I haven't initiated the change myself either. I've got no clue." Erika laughed. "That's not funny."

"Sure it is, but yeah, you can stay here. Plenty of open beds, as usual. You can take my parents' room."

"Thanks, appreciate it."

We started to head inside, I guess really it was for the best we had it out tonight. Psycho Erika is now under control, at least it looks like it. I now know who I have to go after if I want to get any closer to getting this damn bracelet taken off me. I get to spend the night at a girl's house. Things are starting to get a little clearer on the whole Kämpfer mess. If I could just be able to change back when I actually wanted to, this might not actually be a bad situation, but I guess you can't have it all the way you want. Erika showed me up to her parents' room and I just conked out right in the bed. It's best I don't take off my clothes, anyway. I don't need to change back tomorrow and not have anything that fits me here. Walking back to Auburn semi-naked in February? That's not something anyone wants to see.


	6. Chapter 6: Coping

(And we're back! 2011, holy shit it's the future. We were supposed to have flying cars by now, right? Anyway, told you guys this would be a quicker turn around than last time, and I delivered for a change! Yay! Actually was sitting on this over the Christmas holidays figuring where I specifically wanted to go this chapter, but the last two days were very productive and I'm getting this up now for everyone's enjoyment! Starting to earn that M rating a little in this chapter, so little ones, stop reading this and go play with Lego or something. You'll be a lot better off.

Also, there is a **poll up on my profile** that will let you, the reader, have some input into the actual plot of this story! I said way way back in Chapter one that I was eventually going to start bringing in characters you all might recognize, and you all will get to pick who comes to Canada first! Won't that be fun? Anyway, choose carefully, you are going to affect how I end up writing this. No pressure or anything though.

Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left. Four rights and you're just spinning in a circle. Cut that out. But I could have infinite rights and I still wouldn't have the rights to Kämpfer.)

* * *

Man, this bed sure is comfy. And huge. So much better than that dinky little thing I've been sleeping on at home. I actually fit on this one. And these pillows are awesome. I should get this kind…and some new pillowcases to match the walls…wait what?

I rose from the bed, wondering why I'm suddenly thinking like one of those idiots on the home decorating shows my mom enjoys watching so much, when the hair falling in my face answered the question. I didn't change back. I'm still a qualified icemaker. What the hell? What did that bitch Samantha do to me? Did she lock me like this? What the fuck?

I bolted up and out of bed, intent on finding Erika to see if she knew anything about this. I walked down the hallway to her room. The door was open, but when I peaked in, all I saw was that raccoon of hers, asleep on the windowsill. Lazy little bugger. I left it alone and made my way down the staircase to see if she was already downstairs. It's a little disorienting in here, if I haven't made it clear before, this place is freaking huge. The smell of cooking bacon wafting through the air tipped me off to where she might be. I love me some bacon. Especially the maple kind. Always tasty.

Moving into the kitchen, my search was indeed completed as I saw Erika at the stove, watching the bacon with a careful eye. "Morning," she said, without even turning around. She must have heard me coming in. "How you feeling today?"

"Not good," I answered. "Same as last night, really." As if she couldn't tell already from my voice.

"Ouch, so you didn't change back huh? That's not good."

"Not good? That's a bit of an understatement, don't you think? What if that fatass Sam stuck me like this? What am I going to do? I've gotten too used to being able to take a leak standing up!"

"Calm down, you're not going to be a girl forever. You probably just didn't change back right away. Happened to me a couple times at first. You know, while I was getting the hang of it." I could hear the frying pan stop sizzling as she plated her bacon. It smells so - no. No, believe it or not, this is not the time for bacon.

"Well what am I going to do then? I can't go to class like this." She turned around and rested on the island in the middle of the kitchen, munching on one of the three pieces of bacon she had. "Don't I get any bacon?"

"Package is in the fridge if you want to cook some up, this is my bacon." Curses. Oh well, not like it's hard to make. "Besides, it's probably for the best that you don't go to class today anyway."

"Explain."

"Well Samantha is probably going to be there, and if we both show up, she's going to know that I've decided to join forces with you instead of killing you, and she'll come after us again. If I show up alone, then she'll assume I did finish you off in the streets. That'll buy us some time to come up with a plan to try and take her down." Actually that makes a lot of sense. I guess she is pretty smart.

"All right, but I still can't go back home like this. The only people who know that my bracelet does more than make my wrist look like it's bleeding are you, me, and the white elephant. If anyone's there, they're going to assume something's up. Some of them might not care, but still going to be awkward as hell."

"Well you can still stay here if you want. I'm not going to kick you out just because the sun's come up."

"Cool, cool. I think I may help myself to some of that bacon then."

"Just clean up when you're done, OK? I'll be back around four. Make sure the house isn't burned down or anything." Come on. That only almost happened once. "Bye." She scooped up her backpack and headed out the door.

I fished the pack of bacon out of the fridge and set about making my own brunch. As the meat hit the pan and the sizzles started to erupt from it, it just hit me how surreal this is right now. The house, the body, this isn't even my usual brand of bacon. It's like I've quantum leaped into someone, but there's no point to it. No life lesson supposed to be learned, or some wrong to be prevented. I'm just cooking bacon. Tasty, tasty bacon. Should be some bread around here I can toast up for this. Maybe some veggies. I can do this sandwich up right.

* * *

After crafting my impromptu BCLT, I enjoyed it while watching the local news. I only watched it because the TV pickings were slim at this time. I hate the fact that there are no good shows on in the afternoon. Someone should invent a network for the unemployed, or the student with no classes. And it should show stuff like That 70s Show, and The Big Bang Theory, shows that are actually good. Not this Golden Girls crap. Anyway, yeah, news. There was nothing was on there about last night's battle. Good to hear.

I got sick of watching the newscaster blabber on pretty quickly though and when she started talking about some human interest story with a dancing cat or something, I decided I had enough and went to take a shower. Normally I wouldn't bother with it if I'm staying in someone's house, I can go without it for a day or two, but I just felt so dirty right then, I don't know. I guess battling gun-wielding bitches does work up a bit of a sweat.

This bathroom she's got, even it's more posh looking then my house. There were candles all over the place, the floor was heated, the sinks was surrounded by marble, marble! A dozen perfume bottles were scattered across it, there was potpourri above the toilet, it was so ritzy. I mean, my house has a hole in its bathroom wall that the landlord's been too lazy to fix, and it doesn't smell anywhere near this nice.

I stripped down to nothing and went to get in the shower, catching a glance of myself in the mirror as I headed in. I stopped and just stared for a second. I never actually looked at this body naked before, I was too freaked out by the changes to actively think to look at it, but damn it was hot. I lifted up my boobs, they were pretty heavy. I never thought they would be this heavy, because most of my previous interactions with them came when the girl was laying down, but they were like…well like melons. It's an apt comparison. OK, that's enough eye-fucking myself. Time to get relatively clean.

I let the water run for a few seconds before getting in. I quickly spotted some shampoo, and gobbed out a bit. It wasn't near enough for the length of hair I had to wash now. Good thing this isn't my stuff, I wouldn't want to have to buy a new bottle of it every week. It took me about fifteen minutes just to finish rinsing it all out. I looked around for some soap or anything like that, but all that was present were some bath gel stuff that looked like it came right out of that place in the mall next to the liquor store. The one that I see guys get dragged into all the time by their girlfriends. It's going to have to do now, I guess. I squirted some of it into my palm, the smell of mango instantly assaulting my nose. That's some powerful stuff. Going to end up smelling like Hawaii for three days probably. Hoorah.

I started lathering up my arms, my back, my chest…my chest again. That feels amazing. Every pass I make on these tits, there's just like a tingling through my body, it feels so good. Now I know why girls like it so much. I should move on…a few more seconds. God, I could get used to this. I occasionally went down to get my legs, but my hands kept hovering back to my chest, nipples now rising like antennas on the twin peaks. I sat down on the floor of the shower, just feeling the water hitting me as the gel got rubbed further into my chest. Feeling myself getting more excited between my legs. I let out a high-pitched moan…and that snapped me out of my state of bliss. I didn't mean to do that and I've seen enough porn videos to know what that sound means, and I sure as hell don't want what usually happens to the moaners next to happen to me. I gotta get out of this freaking shower.

I rinsed the shower gel off me with the speed of a paint stripper and once it looked like all the suds were off me, I leaped out of the shower. I pretty much just ran the towel over me for show before getting my clothes on. My hair was still soaked and it was clinging to the back of my shirt but it didn't matter right now. I just had to get out of there. That was too freaking close. I mean, I'm a guy dammit. I'm a guy. I don't go doing stuff like that in the shower. At least not unless I'm going through a bad dry spell. Definitely not with the kind of results I would have gotten there.

Now that I was out of there, a little bit of composure came back to me. I took one of the towels hanging near the shower and wrapped it around my hair, like I had seen so many girls do on TV sitcoms. I failed at getting it to stay up well, but whatever. Like I'm supposed to be pro at that.

I gotta do something to take my mind off what I just did to myself. I went into Erika's room, intent on hopefully using her computer to distract myself until I switched back or Erika got back. Whichever comes first. Luckily there was no password or anything like that on there. I started to surf around, hitting up Facebook and similar sites. Lana had put up photos from Sunday night. They all looked pretty good, until a certain point where everyone seemed to be out of it. I'm guessing that was all after Erika made her grand entrance. I decided to bug my little brother a little bit, responding to one of his wall posts with one of my usual smart-ass remarks that he hates so much.

At this point, Buckshot Raccoon decided to show itself, now fully awake. I briefly forgot that it lived in this room, really shouldn't have with my own magically talking ball of fluff at home. It jumped up onto the deck from it's spot on the shelf.

"Hey! You! What are you doing here! This isn't your house! I suggest you leave!"

"Erika is letting me stay, so I have all the right to be here. Just as much as you in fact."

"What! That is outrageous. She wouldn't let you on her computer like that anyway!"

"Well my laptop's at home so I'm going to have to go on here. Besides," I leaned over, coming down to the raccoon's eye level. "if a stuffed kangaroo can give you all that you can handle, I'm pretty sure I can take you."

It looked like a bit of a revelation came into the toy. About as much as could be shown by a couple of beads. "Red devil! I knew you would return! You're going to try and ambush Erika! You evil bitch! Prepare to be incapacitated!" Buckshot Raccoon launched a flying kick at my arm, but bounced off. It got back up and switched to punching my arm instead. "Take that!"

"Oh Christ," I picked up BR by the leg and hung it upside down as I looked around the room for some place to put the thing.

"Ugh!" it grunted. "Unhand me! You will be sorry when Erika gets home! She will get you good! Enjoy being in ribbons!"

"I'm so sure." I spotted one of those pull string bags, the ones that people use when they're too lazy too carry a backpack around. "Perfect." I walked over to it, dropped BR in there and pulled the strings tight, trapping it inside. I put a few knots in the strings just to make sure it wouldn't be able to escape.

"Gah! Get me out of here! This place is vile smelling! I think Erika's workout clothes are in here!"

"Good. More incentive for you to keep your mouth shut. Now pipe down. I'm trying to watch stuff." I hopped from Facebook to Youtube and attempted to amuse myself with videos of a man playing a piano for random people. It's not very effective.

* * *

Watching various clips of British TV and little kids being drugged out of their mind did help pass the minutes by. Eventually BR's grumbles and threats died down and I was able to watch in peace. It was tempting to get up get some popcorn or something, but I figured one sandwich was enough for now. While watching Irish people insult each other back and forth, the door downstairs opened, signifying Erika's return. Hooray. It'll be nice to have someone to talk to other than something that is so easily contained by something you get for $3 at Crappy Tire.

"I'm home!" came the call from downstairs.

"Up here! In your room!"

I could hear the sounds of footsteps as Erika made her way up the stairs. The door swung open, letting her in, she looked a little tired. She tossed her bag on her bed and came over to occupy the bean bag chair. Before I could say anything the cries from the bag started up again.

"Erika! Get me out of here! This bitch locked me up in here against my will! I tried to stop her, I swear I did! She got the drop on me though!"

"You couldn't stay civil with my toys for a couple hours?" Erika asked as she went over to release her Messenger. The raccoon poked it's head out and gasped as the relatively sweet smelling air outside its prison. It gave me a glare, or at least it looked in my direction, anyway. No emotion, those things.

"It was disrupting my video time. As much as I enjoy plush massages, I was trying to watch British people be funny."

"I'll get you next time, red devil! Mark my words! I will use your hair as a rope to strangle you!" Jeez, that's a bit dark. Especially since it was sounding like a bad Renaissance Fair actress before.

"Quit it, Buckshot Raccoon!" Erika held it's head in a pincer grip and looked directly into it's beads. "Ryan is my friend, and he is going to be over a lot, and if you can't deal with that then you will be locked in the attic and then you won't have to see him, or me, or anything else other than dusty old books and insulation, OK?"

BR looked away and snorted. "As you wish, Erika."

"Good," Erika tossed BR over her head as it landed in her laundry hamper at the foot of her bed. Nice to see we have similar punishment methods. Great minds and all that.

"So, how was class?" Figured I might as well show some interest in her day. That's what people do, right?

"Exhausting," was the reply. "When I got to class Samantha was there, right up front, being happy, giving me the thumbs up. Then she kept looking at me during class too. After English, she came up to me and started pestering me about the fight. 'How was it?' 'How did you finish him off?' 'Was there blood everywhere?' It was gross and annoying. I finally ditched her, but then we had a test in Philosophy so I had to deal with that."

"Shoot, that sucks."

"So yeah, you're probably not going to be able to go to British Literature for a while."

"Meh, it's how I usually go about classes here anyway." True, I'm willing to miss a class if there's a 10% chance of snow, so this is no big deal. "I can just have you hand in my stuff, right? Just slip it under yours so that brown-nosing bitch can't catch it?"

"That should probably work. At least for a bit. I'll tell Miller for you that you aren't feeling well but still want to keep up with your studies."

"Beautiful." I sat back up in the chair, dropping my legs to the floor and putting my hands on my knees. "That solves one problem. Now we just need to worry about the other problem of me not changing back."

"Well I got an idea about that too, and it should have an additional bonus as well." Perfect! Damn, this girl is always thinking! Nice.

"Awesome! Well let me know! What's the plan?"

"You're going to have to follow me to find out."

* * *

Erika led me outside to her backyard. It's pretty big, but there is a massive drop off to the arm of the ocean below. She took some stairs that were apparently installed on the Cliffside by her father when she was younger, down to the beach behind her house. So even her backyard is ten times better than mine. Back home my backyard just leads to more trees and occasional coyotes. You could see the other side of the arm, the so called projects of the city, but it was a distant view. The water was clear here as well. Not that murky brownish-green the harbor water is colored. It was a really nice peaceful tranquil spot.

"All right, we're going to fight!"

"Wait, what?"

"Well, I figured if we expended some energy, and got you to work up a sweat, eventually the Kämpfer side of you will run out of steam and you should change back into your regular self. At first that's how I got back to normal. Besides, you could use some practice. You can't expect to outmuscle Samantha the way you got me pinned last night." This is true. I think there are sumo wrestlers that would have trouble trying to pin her.

"You aren't going to try and kill me again?"

"No, I swear, watch, I'm pretty sure I have it all under control now." At this point, physically I was standing still, but mentally I was calculating how fast I could swim across the ocean.

She held up her bracelet and started her change. And I thought it was weird to actually undergo the change. As she closed her eyes, I could see the green creeping across her hair, eventually taking over from the brown, and her two swords appeared out of nowhere.

I took a step back. "Erika? You're still good in there, right?"

She opened her eyes and smiled at me. "Yep, like I said, all under control now." She dropped her swords to the frozen sand beside her. Thank God. "I'm not going to need these for what I want to do."

"What are you looking at doing then?"

"We're going to work on some basic hand to hand combat. It's what you're going to have to be good at if you get an enemy who can dodge your magic attacks, since you don't have weapons." I'm not sure how good it's going to be if the other girl has a gun, but whatever, I'm all for having multiple options available in a pinch.

"I didn't know you knew karate."

"Well I don't, but I do know enough basic moves from self-defence classes to give you something to work with. Plus I watched a lot of Fist of the North Star when I was starting to train myself. With no other Kämpfer in the area, I spent a fair bit of time here just training myself. I wanted to be ready for when the time came that I would finally get to face someone. Although, I guess I didn't do all that well since you stopped me pretty easily." Not really. She had me shaking pretty well.

"I got a lucky shot in. Believe me, if I didn't magically conjure up that ice ball, you'd be down here by yourself again."

Erika laughed. It was true though. "Well, anyway, let's make the best of having us both here. All right, I'm just going to come at you with some basic combos I put together, and when you think you can spot an opening, I want you to go for the counter attack, ok?"

"I'll try." This is going to be tough. I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover…. Actually I'm not much of that either. I'm nothing.

"Here we go!" Erika stated as she charged at me. She was moving so fast, she closed the gap in no time and then the fists started flying. I was relying purely on instinct to block the first couple but then she started tagging me good. I couldn't match her speed. I'd get an occasional stop, but then she'd come in from the side, catch me again. Don't even get me started on the kidney shots. I had no response. After about twenty punches or so, I fell to the ground. Coughing, wheezing, I think I saw blood hitting the sand there. Or maybe that's just a red rock…

"Ummm, OK, not bad for a start. Really have to work on your peripheral vision. I wasn't even trying there."

"Not…trying? Fuck…me." I coughed up another lung after saying that. "I'm…I'm not that…ugh." I tried to stand up, but I had to go back down on my knee, it just wasn't happening right away.

"Well, on this next round I'll pull up a bit more. We'll get to a level you're comfortable with to start."

"Ugh…you may have to…break out the…Sockem Boppers…for that then."

Over the next couple of sequences Erika did slow down. Didn't matter though. I was so tired out from the first set of blows that even as her Beginner level sparring I couldn't keep up. I kept staring at my bracelet, looking to it like a battered boxer looking towards his trainer, begging for him to throw in the towel, but there were no signs of action from the corner. So the punishment continued.

During the fifth set, Erika suddenly pulled up on her jabs. I took the opportunity to try and hit her back but there was nothing behind it and she just stopped my hand by grabbing my wrist. That's when I tilted my head up to see that the red glowing had started again. Hooray. It only took the sacrifice of all my bodily organs to do it.

"There we go, I think we're done for the day."

"Yay," I eked out as the change started washing over my body. It's funny I did feel a lot better during the change. As if my body didn't just get tenderized. When it ended, I stood up with no pain at all.

"Awesome, welcome back Ryan."

"Thank God. I don't think I could have taken much more of that." I looked over myself. Yep everything was back. Finally.

"Awesome, so, you're probably going to want to go home now, get cleaned up and everything. So…"

"Well yeah I should get back explain to my roommates why I was out, where I've been and all that. But, you know,"

"Yes?" Erika interrupted me. Like she was expecting this…

"You know, I wouldn't mind coming back tomorrow, see if I can do a little better against you. If I end up feeling like this afterwards, we can probably just make it an after class activity of sorts, you know?"

"Yes, totally, of course!" Erika seemed excited. Just a bit. "Yeah, and we can just do what we did before if you get too tired or you don't change back, you can just stay here. This will be great!"

"Yeah, totally!" Definitely good idea to agree, especially since she's still in Beatdown mode and I'm not. Besides, might be good to get out of the house some nights anyway. And maybe I can stay even if I do change back some times. Could happen, right?

We went back up to Erika's house and I grabbed my coat. We exchanged goodbyes and I finally made the walk back home, eighteen hours after I initially set out. It went by quickly, when I got back to my place, it turned out I was lucky. No car meant Britt was gone, and when I got in it looked like everyone else was in their rooms. No explaining after all! Woo me.

I got into my room and was immediately assaulted by a Messenger for the second time today. "Where have you been? You had me so worried! What the hell happened?" Nice to see you too, BK.

"Will you give me a second to sit down so I can explain?"

"Fine." BK leaped off my face and onto a spot on the bed. "Start talking."

I explained the events of the previous night and day to the toy, and it actually seemed to be taking it in pretty well. Of course, who can tell? I finally got an answer when it started talking.

"I told you this would happen. The white Kämpfers always get involved when this happens. This is just another sign that I was right, and you should listen to me more often."

"All right, whatever, all praise to you. Since you're so smart, do you know how I can beat them?"

"Hah!" BK just laughed at me. "You can't beat the White Kämpfers! They're on a higher plane than the Blues and Reds! They're quicker, stronger and more powerful! That's why they are the Moderator's personal guards!"

"Oh we'll find a way to beat them. Believe me. That fat bitch isn't going to get the best of me again. Not with me and Erika working together on this. She's smart. She'll figure something out."

"Well, at least it's good to hear you've been training. Shows you're at least taking something seriously."

"Thank you. Anyway, I'm going to go get some food. Kinda hungry."

With that I got up and headed out to the kitchen to wrangle up some supper. Probably just going to use up the spaghetti I got in there. Going to need to start carboloading if this training is going to be a regular thing. And I'm going to need it if I'm going to match Erika. Christ, I don't know how she's able to whip her fists around like that. I mean I tried, but I couldn't even come close to getting a shot in. She must have been down there training every day for the past two months or something. Whatever, it's just phase one of the plan. We take down Samantha, find out what we need and who knows. Maybe I can get this fucking bracelet taken off sooner than later.


	7. Chapter 7: Dating

(Wow! Two updates in two weeks! I'm just flying along now! Nah, I just kind of hit my stride lately, got really into it. Maybe it's something about the winter that makes me write faster, I don't know. You guys get to benefit though, so yeah, another new chapter! Hooray! Skipped ahead a little bit a couple of weeks, so we're going to start seeing some skill progression.

Also, remember when I said there was going to be a poll to decide who comes to Canada? Well, I got the results. I wasn't exactly expecting a high turnout for it, but I at least expected a decision! I only got 4 votes, and each of you voted for a different character! So I guess it's up to me to cast the deciding vote, and I have made my decision on who's coming to the Great White North! Who did I chose? Well, maybe you'll figure it out by the end of the chapter, so read on!

I don't own the rights to Kämpfer. I also don't own an iPhone, a Wii or anything else that would instantly boost popularity...now I'm just depressing myself.)

* * *

Since the initial training session, we've settled into a bit of a routine. It's just like high school. Wake up, class, after school stuff, home, bed. Although instead of the trivia related after school stuff I was known for back in the day, after school stuff consists of Erika beating the shit out of me until I either change back or we give up for the day. I'm starting to getting better though. She is a decent teacher. I only had a couple bruises last time. Two weeks for that kind of improvement is pretty impressive actually. I think I may be developing a muscle. Plus, I've only had to stay over due to not changing twice, and not since last week. Maybe I'm getting better control.

Things have actually been decent at the actual home now as well. I guess if I'm out of the house more Britt isn't so nitpicky about every little thing I do. Probably because I'm not doing anything at home really. Aside from the gaming sessions with Kyle on the weekends. He said he's happy I'm getting out with a girl. That or he was happy that he's picked me off three times in a row from the same bloody sniper spot. I hate Karachi so much. Whatever, I mean, he's the only one I actually talked to about Erika. I don't need to give Brit any more ammunition in our battles, I'm sure she could find something to go at me with, and Stef? Jeez, she's a ghost. I think I saw her once and then her door shut right behind her. I've seen Kristy McNichol more often than I've seen her, and that's only because TBS keeps playing the same dang Family Guy episodes on back to back nights. That girl either needs to get out more, or clearly is getting out way too much.

Anyway, it was a nice weekend, hung out on the above floor with the guys and couple girls for some beer and hockey, then watched the Super Bowl down at the Dune. My Saints won it, damn straight they did! Brees is my boy! Almost makes up for the fact it was so late this year! But yeah, I'm back to the weekday grind now. Since I'm down to one class on Monday/Wednesday/Friday I don't have to do much, so I just watched some TV before picking up BK as I set out for Erika's again.

"I wish I didn't have to watch your little training sessions from the sidelines with that bitch raccoon," BK commented from it's perch on my shoulder. "Always talking like some stupid upper-class snob. I can't stand it! I wish I could burn that raccoon alive!"

"I find it amazing you two don't get along when you have so much in common. I mean, you're both talking toys from god knows where, you both think I'm incompetent, you both think you can take me despite the obvious height, weight and reach disadvantages, not to mention if I switch to Kämpfer mode I can freeze you in an ice block and sell you to gullible freshmen as ice cubes for their poorly mixed rum and cokes, and you both have the same amount of wit and sophistication, that is to say, none."

"If I was your size I could take you!"

"Keep telling yourself that BK." I rang the doorbell of Erika's house. "Keep telling yourself that."

It was a matter of micro seconds before Erika was there. "Hey Ryan! Just give me a second, I'll be right out!"

"OK, I'll head on down to the beach." She shut the door and I started for the back.

I set BK up on the log there, a piece of driftwood that was big enough to serve as a bench for the tiny plush toys. About five minutes later, Erika came down, BR in her arms. The raccoon's little plush arms were crossed, something I've come to expect. It enjoys these sessions just as much as BK does, I guess.

"Right, so you want to switch over so we can get started?"

"Nope," Erika replied. Um what? "I want you to change to your Kämpfer form first. You're going to have to learn how to do it at some point. So let's start now."

"I've never been able to do it though. I haven't even gotten close! I thought I was changing on my own once last week there. Turned out I just had a burp coming."

"Well, you're going to have to do it! Otherwise, I won't tell you about the surprise I've got for you later!"

"Um…OK, I'll try, don't see what it's going to do." Erika was just looking at me dead serious now. I guess I better give it a shot.

I focused hard on turning into my other form. It's really hard when you really don't want to be doing something to think solely about doing it. I was just thinking about it, or do I say her? I think it's it, that's what I'm sticking with, oh wait, there it is. That tingling again. Shoot, am I actually doing it? I stood in place as the wave of change hit me and I was standing before Erika in battle mode.

"All right! I knew you could do it!" Erika seems rather pleased. Don't know why. I'm not.

"Yeah, I guess I was able to pull it off. Awesome?"

"Well of course. Now that you can change into it on your own, that's going to make it a lot easier to change back on your own!" True, and much needed. If I can do that, I'd be a lot less anxious about this whole thing.

"All right, so aren't you going to change?"

"I don't think I'll need it today. You've been getting better on the hand-to-hand fighting. I figured we could work on your magic a little bit. If you don't mind."

"No, no. That sounds great." Inside I'm sure my organs are rejoicing. No beating today.

"OK, so what I think we should work on today is the speed that you can charge up those blasts of ice. You have to be able to get it up to a decent size quickly in order to be really effective."

"I thought I could do that already though."

"Yeah, for like a couple bursts. I'm talking ten, twelve, fifteen in quick succession. You want to be able to cover the field if need be, to give yourself an advantage against people like Samantha." Well, I guess I could make it more difficult for her to waddle around like that. Although her ass can probably just shatter my ice if she falls on it. "I want you to fire at that rock over there," she pointed to this huge rock a bit down the beach. Looked about my size actually. "Coat that rock in ice as quickly as you can, and don't hold on to your charge for more than a second, this is a rapid fire activity."

"All right then," I said, raising my right hand towards the indicated target. I started charging up ice balls and firing off at the target. It's weird going rapid fire like that, it's like constant hot and cold hitting my hand, feeling it and then letting it go, I guess it's better for control. Wish it would improve my aim though, I just flat out missed it a couple times. Few other times I just nicked it. And I don't know, it doesn't look like I'm covering much of it with these shots. Wish I could charge it longer.

It took me about 20 shots or so to finally get the rock covered. Maybe more. I don't know. "28 shots to cover it?" Fuck, well I guess it was more. "That's not a very good ratio, Ryan. You've got to be able to do it quicker."

"Well come on. I played first base in Little League, not pitcher. Plus it's melting a lot. See?" I pointed that the layer of ice was already starting to fade away. It is really warm for February. Global Warming finally kicking in something good. Awesome.

Erika just shook her head. "Samantha's not going to take excuses when she's about to put a bullet in your head." By this point, the ice was pretty much all gone from the rock. I guess when I'm going in quick bursts it isn't anywhere near as strong. Good to know. "All right, do it again!"

* * *

This pattern kept up for an hour or so, I think I hit 17 shots once to cover it, so I got better as the afternoon went on, but other than that I dunno. It's like painting a wall only to have the paint run off every 2 minutes. Eventually it looked like Erika had enough. She almost looked disappointed.

"Ryan, can you change back now? I want you to try to do that."

Well I've managed to do one part of it today, there's hope for the other part right? I thought hard about the real me, trying to get back to that. I stood there concentrating for a few minutes. Alas, I guess it's too much to ask for me to totally get this under control in one day. "Sorry, I guess I still need to get the hang of it. Do you want me to keep shooting?"

"No, I guess we better stop now, if we want to be ready for your surprise," she sighed. "I was hoping you'd get worn out and change back by now, but whatever, I guess it's all right."

"What surprise is this now?" And why did I need to be worn out for it?

"Well, it's Valentine's Day today, right?" Is it Valentine's Day? Fuck I never pay attention to that day, I've never had any girlfriends around when it came around to give it any thought. Besides, I'm a bit more focused on St. Patrick's Day, thanks.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"Well, I figured we could go out to dinner, just you and me, my treat. I got reservations at Ankara up on Blackpool Road. But they're in an hour. I was hoping you would be changed back by now, but it's OK. We can go like this." What! Me in public, like this? No. No no no no no! Fuck me, I would have to stay like this, wouldn't I? Costing myself a free meal? On freaking Valentine's Day? God damn this bracelet!

"Um, Erika," I'm trying not to sound pissed but I think it's just making me sound overly passive. "you sure it's a good idea for me to be out and about like this?"

"Why not? No one will recognize you. I highly doubt Samantha will be out today," Yeah, Sam's date for the day is going to be a tub of Häagen-Dazs and a Cake Boss marathon, guaranteed. "And if I run into anyone I know, I'll just say you're a friend from out of town, in for the day."

"…OK, but I'm not going to look very good going out like this, right?" I'm referring to the now form fitting navy blue t-shirt that read "Trinity Basketball" across the front of my tits, the Avalanche hat and the jeans. Not exactly fancy dinner wear. It's not even a true shirt, I never went to any place called Trinity. Definitely not to play basketball. "And no offence, but I know nothing you have is going to fit me."

"It's OK, Ankara's not all that fancy, it'll be perfectly fine. It'll be great, just a nice, peaceful dinner." For you, maybe. "You can just watch TV or something while I shower and get ready. You going to need to shower too?"

Nope! Definitely not. My near deflowering of myself proved I can't be trusted alone in the shower, and I am not going to be testing my resolve anytime soon. I know what I'm like. "Um, you know what, I'm pretty good actually. Don't work up any sweat using magic, you know? Yeah, I'll be fine."

"OK, well, yeah, I won't take too long, OK?" By this point in time we had walked into the house and Erika was going right up the stairs, I could hear her humming along the way. This, this…ugh. Fuck my life. It figures I would finally have someone interested in me and I have to do it looking like this. And I can't just turn her down and leave. That work out great. Probably get Psycho Erika after me that way too. Damn it! This is just lose-lose! Ugh, why?

I plopped myself down on the living room couch and started watching Around the Horn while waiting for Erika. At least listening to Woody Paige go on about his Nuggets will give me some time to think. I only got to listen for a couple of minutes before both the Kangaroo and the Raccoon came to give me a hard time. Joy.

"So, that was pretty pathetic!" Buckshot Raccoon started up. "You really that bad at target practice? On a stationary target?"

"Yeah," Barbecued Kangaroo agreed. "You couldn't hit the broadside of Tokyo Tower!" The two started laughing and I started getting mad. I picked up both of them, looking for some place to chuck them, but I didn't want to throw them anywhere in here. I don't need to hit Erika's TV or anything like that. I don't have the cash for a replacement. Which is why the free meal portion of Erika's offer alone is pretty much outweighing most of the cons. I eventually decided on just slamming them into the ground. I know it's not going to do much, but whatever. Bigger things to think about. "Figures the two of you would bond over thinking up ways to insult me."

"So, Erika told you about the surprise dinner, is that correct?" the raccoon asked.

"Yeah, she told me."

"And this is the attire you'll be sporting for it? Not very appropriate if you ask me. Not for someone who's as lucky as you are, getting to court Erika."

"Well, I wasn't exactly able to prepare for it. Give me a break."

"Yeah, I think Ryan looks fine. Pretty good, actually." I'm sorry, was that BK actually giving me a compliment? It's definitely on the wrong side of me, but still, how civil of it. I'll take it over some of the other stuff it's said. "Maybe a little perfume is needed but other than that, yeah." Well, you wrecked that goodwill, BK. Well done.

"The day I wear perfume is the day I climb Mount Everest with a fridge strapped to my back!"

"That's a shame, the right one could make the whole look work."

"Since when do you know anything about that?"

"Try me sometime! I actually know a thing or two about good looking girls!"

"Enough. Whatever. Done talking to both of you. I'm just going to watch my show in peace!" I was good as my word for the next twenty minutes, Woody winning the showdown and then going on about the problems with the airlines for his face time. That got him muted pretty quick. Reali does not appreciate non-sports talk. Now that I really think about it, who is going to notice me there? Yeah, probably get ogled by the desperate loners out there, but Erika said this place was semi-swanky. Can't be letting in the losers, and this is going to be my first ever actual Valentine's Day activity. Who cares if I have to do it looking like I'm just out with a dateless friend? Still something. Yeah, this will work. Just gotta try and enjoy this as best I can. OK, yeah.

About ten minutes into PTI, Erika came downstairs. Damn she cleans up nice. Her usual hoodie/jeans combination was replaced. Different pair of jeans, they looked black, like designer jeans or something, and she had this lowcut red t-shirt on, looked a lot like mine actually, or what mine is now, but hers was actually meant to be like that. She had this green headband on her hair too, never noticed that before, but it was doing it's job well. Kept everything pulled back.

"All right, ready to go?" she asked.

"Um yeah, yeah, totally ready to go, mmhmm." Whatever you say. Wow, where was she hiding that shirt?

"OK," she turned to the two Messengers. "You can watch over the place while we're gone, right?"

"Of course, Erika! I'll stand on guard all night for you!" BR gave as good a salute it could give. BK just stood there. I don't know what it's thinking. Probably some fresh insults for when I get back.

"All right, we'll be back later then!" Erika was pretty much dragging me out of the door at this point. She didn't have to. I would have gone. She's being a lot more forward now like this. I mean when we met she was all shy and reserved and stuff. Now she's pretty much commanding me around. Have I always had this kind of effect on girls? How come it didn't work before?

* * *

It wasn't that bad of a walk up to Blackpool. The milder weather helped, and it's not like it's unfamiliar territory for me. I usually go to Blackpool for grocery shopping anyway. It took about twenty minutes to get to the place Erika was talking about. Ankara doesn't really stand out but I've seen the place before. Never been inside, but that's because I usually can't afford twenty dollars for what is essentially meat on a stick. See, they're the kind of restaurant who puts copies of their menu outside in the hopes of luring people in. Kind of hard to do with Turkish food, and at that price, but eh, a free meal is a free meal.

Erika walked up to the person working the front. "Yes, I have a reservation for two at seven. Under the name Martin."

"Ah yes, there we go, right this way." The waitress led the two of us over to a booth along the side of the restaurant, and placed the two menus she had scooped up on the respective sides. "I hope you ladies enjoy!" Fuck, it's tough not to scream that I'm not a lady, but what good would that do me? I look the part now, unfortunately. Damn bracelet.

We sat down and started looking over the menu. "I've never been here before," I told Erika. "What's the best thing to get here?"

"Umm, not sure actually! This is my first time here too. I figured it would be nice to try something different. The only places my parents took me to were other steakhouses to check the competition, and with them out of town, I didn't really have any reason to come to places like this before…" Her voice trailed off at the end there and she looked away. Wait, is she blushing? Oh my god she is! Damn, I totally have her. Freaking nice. "Um…why don't we ask the waitress when she comes back?"

"That's a good idea. Let's do that."

After consulting with Kerri, the waitress, we ordered up: a starter of cheese borek, a yogurt kebab plate for me, and a chicken wrap/side salad combo for Erika. I was more interested in the red wine she brought out to be honest. Granted, it's a Monday. I'm not going to be going at it full tilt, but it's nice to have that there, just in case I don't like these yogurt kebabs. I normally have yogurt as dessert, not on my meat. I poured out a glass of wine in the little glass they gave each of us.

"Would you like a glass, Erika?"

"All right, just one, since it is kind of a special dinner." She held out her glass and I poured in a bit for her as well. "Thank you!" she nodded her head as she took the drink. She held it out in front of her, I guess she wants to make a toast or something. "Um…here's to…um…"

"Wine?"

"Um…sure! Wine is good! Yeah!" We clinked our glasses and drank. It's not bad stuff. Not going to dissuade me from beer and rum but not bad. Definitely not-

"Excuse me! Girls!" Jeez that guy's loud. Who's he looking for? "Yes you two!" Will one of you ditzes answer him already so he'll shut up and I can enjoy my drink?

"Yes? Can we help you, sir?" I looked over at Erika. Of course she's talking to the loud guy. Great. Didn't her parents teach her not to talk to strangers? Especially now?

"Yes, well my name is Greg, I'm a photographer for Click! Magazine, surely you've seen us around town?" Oh fuck no. That rag I see for free at KFC? The one with all the pictures of drunk people? Fuck, they were there at the Dune too snapping away. I think I was in one picture. I don't know, I can't remember. But why does one of these buggers have to be here? "Well, we're getting some photos for Valentine's Day and I thought I could get one of the two of you! To show that Valentine's Day can be about friendship as well as love and lust!" Well at least I can predict Greg's backstory now. Failed actor, failed director, went to photography and is failing at that too, hence his work for this shoddy zine. Now he wants to take it out on me. Why me? "Anyway, how about it, girls?"

"Sure, why not?" Erika come on! It's bad enough I gotta be out like this, I don't need photographic evidence! She looked over at me, I guess she was trying to give me one of those 'It'll be OK' looks but it's definitely not working.

"Excellent! I'll just position myself back here then, you girls can face me, hoist up those wine glasses," I obliged. If it will get this guy out of here any quicker, I'll do it. "Beautiful, now big smiles! Smiles that say you don't need men to have a good time on Valentine's Day!" Why do I get the feeling Greg would enjoy being a girl a lot more than I am? I'm not giving him anymore than a semi-amused smirk. "All right, good, and…" He pressed down on the camera button, a fake click sound going off. "Beautiful! Ah, another excellent photo!" Does this guy only know two adjectives or something? Whatever, I'm putting the glass down…after a sip.

"Well there you go, Greg! That all you wanted?" Erika asked the overzealous shutterbug.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I need, just have to get your names there, so we can give credit where credit is due!" What? Now I looked at Erika, and the look on her face was 'Fuck, I'm sorry! I didn't know!' Well, I can't give this jackass my real name! That's just stupid! I hate being put on the spot like this! I started looking around, for something I could use as a fake name.

"Um…OK, my name's Erika Martin," Erika started. At least she's trying to stall, um…fuck, what can I use? Painting? Kebab? Vase? Wait, vase? …Fuck, got it. "And uh…this is-"

"Crystal!" I interrupted. "Crystal Flowers."

"OK, is that with a C or a K?" Can't you just take the bloody name and be happy?

"K." Whatever, I don't care.

"Flowers, all right! Thank you very much ladies! Be on the look out for this in the magazine!" With that he left the restaurant, no doubt off to bug some other poor couple trying to have a nice meal. Idiot.

After he left I just thumped my head on the table. That was way too stressful. "So, what was that about, Erika? Why did you agree to that?"

"Well it would have been suspicious if we had said no! I thought it was just a picture! I didn't know he wanted more than that! I'm sorry!"

"Whatever, it's OK, we got through it. At least now I can drink in peace." I took another sip of wine to illustrate my point.

"Yeah, that's true," Erika said, taking a tiny sip of her own. I'm pretty sure she's not a big wine person, I could see the hint of a grimace. "How did you come up with that name so quick anyway?"

"I dunno. I was looking at that vase over there," I pointed to the glass vase on the table near the window in front. The one that had a bunch of…I dunno what kind of flowers those are. Probably fake anyway. "I wasn't exactly looking for anything too cool."

"Well you did a good job. I couldn't do it that fast."

"Meh, it'll work. Besides, I highly doubt that we're going to make that issue anyway. Who's going to put a shot of two friends in a picture issue about Valentine's Day anyway? Like that's what every editor wants, right?"

"Hah, of course! We shouldn't worry about it! Let's just continue with the dinner, right?"

"Exactly." Perfect timing for that sentiment actually. Kerri is just coming out with the cheese things that Erika ordered as an appetizers. Good stuff.

* * *

The rest of the dinner was uneventful really. Food came out, I ate it…or at least as much as I could. I don't know if it's just when I'm in Kämpfer mode, but I couldn't eat near as much as I usually can right now. I mean, a kabob plate like the one they gave me, which was definitely not worth fifteen dollars at all, that's an appetizer for actual me, but I actually had to take half of it home. I'm very disappointed with myself.

I ended up changing back within an hour of getting back to Erika's place. She was still a bit worried about the whole thing, I told her not to be, I had a good time. Yeah, that photo tool almost wrecked things, but still it was definitely better than the previous Valentine's Days, where I either worked or stayed home playing Madden.

The next couple of days? Also uneventful. Just the same old really. Today its back to another early Thursday morning Science class. I wouldn't have even bothered with it, but I already missed Tuesday's class for sleeping in purposes, and as much as I hate having to get up at 8AM, I try not to miss more than one class a week if I can help it.

I got to the classroom and took one of my usual spots in one of the desks in the back. It's the only way to get internet in this huge-ass room they're using. Amazing the amount of money this place gets and they can't even build a decent wireless network. Looks like it's willing to cooperate today. Hurrah. Let's see who won last night.

"Excuse me? Is this seat taken?" Did it really fill up this quickly? Come on there has to be somewhere else. Bah, whatever.

"Um, no it's not. Go right ahead," I replied, not even looking up from the screen. It's not like I'm going to have to go into much more conversation than that. It happens a lot, people just take the spot, and then I don't hear from them. I get it, I'm an older guy in a first-year science class. I just want the credit. Don't be so weird about it.

"Thank you very much," she replied. Definitely a girl, easy to tell. "I appreciate you letting me sit here, I'm surprised there are this many people here this morning."

"Uh-huh, you're welcome." Wow, a second sentence. A historic day. Now where's the score of the Avalanche game?

"My name is…"

* * *

((Oooooh, I'm afraid that's all the plot we have for today folks. Tune in next time for...yes it's a bloody cliffhanger! For god's sakes be patient! I think you guys can pretty well figure out who's going to be coming in anyway. If you look at the obvious clues. Anyway, I promise, the newest cast member of Cool Nights and Catfights will be revealed with the first sentence of Chapter 8!))


	8. Chapter 8: Allying

(Wow pretty much just a rush of stories in the past few days, guess it's a good thing I'm back with a new chapter! So I'm sorry I left you all for a cliffhanger for so long, was not my intention to drag it out like that, I had a lot of writing to do for school and after that I was just really burned out, like I did not want to write at all. However, a recent situation regarding my internet meant I had some more free time to fill, and sure enough I got Chapter 8 finished up earlier this morning. I had to travel to post this, but it'll be worth it, I guess. As long as I'm not paying the gas.

Now for the big reveal as for who's coming to Canada, I decided to write in the character who I figured could help advance the plot the best, and get everything to the events I want to hit and the conclusion I want to get to. Like I said, if you followed the progression, you could probably tell who was coming in. And I want to reiterate, that just because the other three characters aren't in yet, does not rule them out for future appearances. Anyway, yeah, enjoy the Chapter, and hopefully I'll get Chapter 9 up for you all as soon as possible!

I don't own the rights to Kämpfer. I also don't own a horse, so you have no reason to disconnect...ah wait come back! Damn it!)

* * *

"…Shizuku." Huh, that's not a regular name. Not for here anyway. I-HOLY SHIT! WHAT! My…eyes…they cannot contain such beauty!

OK, maybe an exaggeration, but holy shit! She's fucking gorgeous! I mean yeah, Asians usually do it for me, but god damn this is just unreal! She's even got blue eyes! How the fuck is that possible! I don't even know or care! That long black hair, that figure, she's wearing a sweater the poor frozen thing, so it's kind of muted but…just…dude!

Shizuku took the seat next to me and sat down, pulling out her notebook to get ready to take notes. She looked over. I could tell because I haven't been able to take my eyes off her. "Do I get your name?" she asked. "It's common courtesy, is it not?" She even speaks English great! Can barely hear an accent from her! She must have been born out West or something. Oh shit name, right…

"Sorry about that, name's Ryan." Should I put out my hand…nah that'd be weird. "So uh, you're a transfer, huh? Where were you studying before?"

"I was studying at a school near my home in Japan before, but I felt a change was in order to truly enhance my studies. MacMichael was willing to accept all my previous credits, so I came here."

"Japan, huh?" So, authentic huh? Well I got two questions then. First, why isn't she hanging out with all the other Asians like I normally see wherever I go? And second, and the one I'll actually ask her, "I gotta say, your English is really good then."

"Well, I took classes back home, plus with my parents travelling all the time it was necessary to learn it. It is the world's language." I guess that makes sense. "That's a really interesting bracelet you have on there. I don't normally see guys wearing jewellery like that."

Shit. I pulled my arm back towards me. Well that's what I get for being the big man and wearing a t-shirt in the cold. Going to have to cover this up "Uh, yeah, well…it was a gift, you know? Be kinda rude to not wear it after it was given to me."

"Oh? Was it from a girlfriend?"

"Uh…no, no, I don't have a girlfriend right now." I don't think I can call Erika a girlfriend yet. Not so soon anyway. I mean she likes me enough, I think that's for sure, but I don't want to rush into things, especially not considering the other side of her. I'm still a little nervous around Psycho Erika, even if the training sessions have been going well. Well, at least for her. I'm still hurting.

"Hmmm, I see. Well, I suppose it's still nice to receive gifts from friends, isn't it?" She smiled back at me, it was kind of a weird smile though. It wasn't one of happiness, it seemed more like one of amusement or something.

"Yeah, I guess…Hey if you are from-" I got shut up by a flying finger. A delicate finger like that, going right into your face, it's a very effective silencer.

"Shhhh, the lecture is starting. I have to focus on that."

"Oh, OK then." I went back to my laptop quietly. Shizuku may want to focus on the class, but I just want to focus on the Sporcle quizzes until I can stop listening to this guy drone on about rock formations.

I looked over a couple times during the droning, to see if Shizuku was up for more talking, but she was buried in her notebook, scribbling the notes away. When class finally ended, I went to ask her what I wanted to ask her, if she knew anything about these animal things or anything like that, but she was out of class like a bullet. Didn't even give me a chance to try and pose the question. Oh well, she probably isn't all that interested in talking to a guy like me anyway. Guaranteed I look for her next Tuesday, she'll be sitting up front. I know how those studying Asians usually are. We had one as an exchange student a few years ago. I swear he didn't leave his room except to go to school and occasionally retrieve food. That's how focused they were. I should be impressed I got what I did out of Shizuku, even if it seemed like she was questioning me a lot more than actually talking to me.

* * *

I didn't feel like going to my other class today. I'm doing well enough in History that I can afford to take one or two off. I dunno, maybe that Asian hottie threw me out of the lecture mode. Who can concentrate after seeing that, am I right? Anyway, I went home for a bit, just chilled with some COD time, wanted to unwind a bit before I headed over to Erika's later. I don't think it would look any kind of good if I went with those kind of thoughts on my mind.

We do have a standing rule that we don't do any training on Thursdays, I'm not risking missing out on trivia night because I get stuck in female form. Erika understands that so normally we just relax, catch up some English work, maybe watch some clips online if it gets done quick enough. I've really been relying on these little tutoring sessions just to keep pace with the class. Until Sam suddenly moves out of the province, I can't exactly get it straight from the professor's mouth, but Erika's a good student, she's been able to tutor me enough to hand in a believable short essay.

I arrived at Erika's place, sans messenger, since I don't want to have to carry BK home from trivia in a drunken state. Actually any little break I can get from it is nice. I mean, yeah, there's been a lot less insults flying at me from it, but still it's weird when you're in a room with something that you know is kind of alive, and watching you at every opportunity. Especially when those eyes it's watching with don't ever blink. Don't even get me started on how many times it's been offering up commentary when I'm trying to play Xbox, and it just complains that I don't have any JRPGs, or something like that. I don't know why BK's not over at Erika's then, she's into that stuff a lot more than I am. Plus then I would have my room to myself again.

Apparently it was a light week in class so there wasn't a lot to go over. There is a mid-term coming up though, professors are piling on work before Spring Break just to make everyone earn that week off and I don't think I can have Erika fake a test for me. So something's going to have to get figured out but eh. I got a week for that. We spent most of our time watching this anime Erika had, I didn't quite get it. There were bunch of swords flying and blood pouring, but I couldn't keep track of who I was supposed to be cheering for or against, or if they were coming back from the dead, I don't know, I thought it was a mess, but she really liked it so I just went along with it.

Around 8 we headed down to the Black Stripe as per the ritual for trivia time. It's a bit early, but the Stripe runs a burger special before trivia, and it's a real nice deal. Burger, fries and a starter beer for $7? Heck yeah. Nuts to McDonald's, that's the real happy meal right there. Plus Erika can just sub out the beer for a Pepsi or something, so she's happy. It was a nice leisurely paced walk, we had plenty of time. If it were any other month of the year there would actually be some beautiful scenery to walk by. Unfortunately, February only offers barren trees and a bunch of dead grass augmented with the occasional slush puddle. That's Canada though. Seriously, don't book your vacations up here until August.

As we walked into the massive student building that housed the Black Stripe, the lobby was fairly empty. The slight line-up of uber-students at the coffee shop, refuelling for another study session; the hipsters parked on the couches, discussing books they've never read by authors I never heard of; the security guards standing at the entrance to the bar like disinterested gargoyles. Yep same old, same old.

"Hey look at this!" What's Erika want now? There's nothing out here. Apparently her attention was turned to a poster that adorned one of the walls by the help desk.

I looked at the poster, it was for some silly event thing the university was putting on. "Mac's Got Talent".

"Yeah see, they're having a talent contest next week," Erika informed me as if I couldn't tell from the title. "Whatever kind of act you want to do, and the winner gets a big cash prize! $2500!" I don't know where the university got that kind of scratch to give away. Probably another corporate sponsorship in class. Guarantee next Science class we'll be learning about the properties of Pop Rocks.

"Well, I sure could use that money, but eh, I got no talent, so what can you do?" Well, singing maybe but I don't know, I still got mixed reviews on that.

"I'd love to enter, I'm really good with my guitar, but I haven't played it in public in a while. I can't sing or anything like that either, so I probably wouldn't have a chance at winning." I didn't know Erika played the guitar. I would have thought like violin or something else classy considering her house. Still, I better say something comforting.

"I dunno, you'd probably do all right." That'll work. "Anyway, let's go eat some burgers and win some free beer. That's more fun than some school contest anyway." My argument was successful as I pried Erika away from the poster and in towards are usual spot in the crowd of the bar.

After settling in, I hailed a waitress with relative ease, being a fixture at the bar does mean they know what to get for you and two burger dinners were on their way. As they arrived at the table, so did Amber and her entourage joining us just past the cut off for food. It was a kind of guilty pleasure, eating it right in front of her. I allowed a fry steal or two, but still, the burger was the key thing, and that one was tasty.

I was looking forward to getting to this one, Tommy was back out for this week's questions, and we sync up pretty well. I met him through Chipmunk when I first started coming here, and we still hang out after trivia some weeks, play some cards and finish beers. He's a good guy, and because I know him pretty well, I can tell what kind of questions are going to be asked. It means we're usually going to get some beer.

"All right guys, thank you all for coming out on another glorious Thursday night," the call came over the microphone. Tommy was at the podium on the stage, beer in hand, Maple Leafs hat perched squarely upon his head. I keep telling him to pick a better team, but nope. "You all know who I am, you all know why you're here, so let's get down to some trivia. Sound good?" A cheer rose up from the patrons. "All right then, let's start things off as we always do, with a beer question…"

* * *

Wow, that was great! Such a good night, right? Like best one in forever! We did really good, I knew it was going to be good when I got that first beer question right. And then all the questions Tommy asked, we all knew! And then Amber bought two yards for the group! And we won! And we got more beer! And we had to drink it all! And I did! Fucking woo! Fuck class tomorrow! Beer is what matters!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so we stayed until closing time, and we're heading home now. Erika's with me, she's totally holding onto me. She's been doing it since we left the bar. I knew she was like into me.

"I don't know how you could drink so much beer! You drank a full yard and then one of the pitchers plus some more!"

"I know right? It's like, I thought I had no more room, and then, there was more room! Plus Amber wanted to give that last beer away, I couldn't let her give the last beer away. That's like, a crime!"

"Well, at least you're still able to move your feet." Erika grunted for some reason. I dunno why. She's not a pig. Definitely not looking like one. "Come on Ryan, just a little bit more to go. You can stay at my place again, I don't think you would make it home in this state." What? We're not in the states. We're in Canada!

We kept walking, I guess to Erika's place, I dunno this route. At least it's not all snowing and stuff. I think we might be done for the year. Yay global warming! Freaking right. Although the moon could show up. Fuck you moon! Get out here and do your job! Stop hiding behind all those clouds you cheesy bastard! Or are you hiding something? I bet you're planning on destroying the Earth! I can't beat the moon though. Maybe eat the moon, I like cheese. Probably can't eat that much alone.

"Erika?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me one thing."

"Um, OK, what's that?"

"If that bastard moon tries to come down and destroy the Earth, you'll help me melt all that cheese before it hits us, OK? I'm not dying because of that ugly bastard. Got that?"

"Sure Ryan." I dunno how on board Erika is with the plan, I could see her rolling her eyes. She thinks I couldn't but I did. "Of course, how are you going to melt something that-"

"I knew it! I knew you wouldn't do what your supposed to!" Ah yelling. What the hell. No need for that now.

Erika turned, and turned me with her, and behind her was that bitch. What's her name. Fatty fat fat. Um…Sam! Sam that's it. I remember cause it rhymes with Spam, which is what her arms look like. Why the fuck is she wearing a short sleeve shirt tonight? Fuck you global warming! I didn't need to see that. The gun isn't helping anything. Why does she have to have a gun? That's not cool. I don't have a gun. Fucking White bitch, not playing fair.

"He seduced you didn't he, Erika? You let that man talk you out of doing your job! How could you? I thought you were a proper warrior."

"Ryan did nothing, Samantha." Hey, I do more than nothing! "I realized that I'm not a fan of being an unwilling soldier either, so I didn't want to kill him."

"Sure, that's why he's draped over your shoulder right now. Tell me Erika, was the sex really worth it? He doesn't look like he'd be all that good at it, even for a guy." Fuck you bitch! That's it you're fucking asking for a beat down.

"Hey! Fatty! At least I can get sex! When was the last time you had a make out session with anything that wasn't made of plastic, huh? And cats don't count!"

"Stay out of this, you fucking bastard!"

"Ryan, be quiet," Erika shushed me. "We didn't do anything, Samantha. I don't put the high priority on sexual relations that you do."

"That's because she can't get any!"

"Ryan! Do you want to get shot?" Erika doesn't know that Sam can't hit shit. I watched her.

"Well, I can gladly oblige him!" Sam started firing her pistol and I hit the ground. Probably didn't need to, but better to be safe. That's not fair she gets to shoot something and I don't. Wait…oh shit I can fire something! Well, chick me can fire something! Fucking yeah, let's get that out then!

Concentrating on chick me was pretty easy, she's hot. But then the tingling thing started and that just felt weird all over. Like, I could feel the hair growing under my hat and then falling out and hitting my neck, and the boobs coming out, although they were nice to see. But yeah, took a couple seconds, but it was time to put that bitch on ice.

"Hey! I can fire stuff too, bitch! Remember this?" I charged up an ice ball and flung it at the bitch, but I dunno, the wind must have hit it or something, cause it totally didn't go to her. It hit some Beamer parked in the street. Funny I hit the dudes car, but I wanted to hit Spamantha! Fucking wind!

"Darn it Ryan!" I could hear Erika cursing. It wasn't my fault though it was the wind! Erika, I think she was changing too. I could see the green hair coming out, and the swords appearing. She didn't look too happy about this. "I don't want to fight you Samantha!"

"You should have thought about that before you made that decision. Now you're going to be as doomed as he is!" Sam started firing again, fuck that gun is loud! Too loud! Erika took off in the opposite direction. I didn't really want to move like that though, so I just went to the side and sat on some guys Elantra while Erika was drawing fire away. It looked pretty shitty so he probably wouldn't mind. Especially not looking like this. Probably be thrilled he was getting his own Whitesnake video made.

Erika kept trying to get in close to Sam to try and get a slash in but the gun shots were keeping her at bay. Sam still couldn't hit anything though, except for a distant lamp post, it made a pretty cool shattering noise. The city's going to have fun with that one. They were trading opportunities, but Erika just wasn't able to reach her. I should probably help her with that. I could feel another ice ball pooling in the palm of my hand and I brought it up trying to take out Sam's legs, that's a smart move right? Cut down the mobility? Yeah I can do that. They are moving a lot though.

I finally flung the ball towards Sam's feet, but that dang wind again! It moved it, and it landed like, in front of her. Unfortunately she was backing up, and Erika ended up hitting the ice patch instead. She fell forward and hit the ground hard, swords splayed at her sides. "Shit! Sorry Erika!"

Fat bitch just laughed. "Haha, nice shot Lohan! Even for a drunk you've got terrible aim!"

"Hey, at least I don't waste more shots than a fuckin' stormtrooper!"

Sam walked over to where Erika laid in the street. "Well at this range, I'm a real sure shot!"

"What? No! Hey!" I got up off the car and went to go stop Sam, but I must have like, put an ice patch in by this car too, cause I fell after taking a couple of steps. I couldn't get up either. Erika was trying, but the ice was causing her to slip up too much.

"I'll be over for you in a second Ryan, I'm going to finish what I started with this traitor first." I could only watch as Sam pointed the gun dead center at my ally's head. Erika looked up and saw the barrel at the end of a face that seemed to have no remorse for what it was about to do. This was some really shit TV. "I thought you could go the distance Erika. I thought you could have won it for the Blues. You had the right mean streak, the right method of attack, but I should have guessed you would fall for the first guy to show interest. So this is it." I could hear the click of the gun, meaning it was ready to blow something away. I tried to make a move but for some reason, I couldn't get up. Maybe I did have too much to drink tonight.

"Goodb-" Sam was trying for some badass final line, but she got cut off by the sound of...flying chains? They were led by a couple of hooks and they wrapped around Sam's body in no time, pinning her arms at her sides. The shot rang out, but it bounced harmlessly on the pavement. "What the hell?" Erika used the opportunity to finally get a sound footing and stand up. The chains finished wrapping as much as they could around our attacker, before anchoring themselves to the ground. Sam was struggling against these newly acquired shackles. "Ugh…ugh! What the fuck?"

"Oh I'm sorry, looks like I was a little early. Forgive me, what were you going to say White Kämpfer?" That voice…I know I heard it before. The footsteps got louder as into the light walked another woman.

"Who the fuck are you?" Sam asked, she sounded really angry.

Wait a minute, I can tell now! Those looks! That's that Asian hottie! Holy shit! What was her name… um… fuck… Shizuku! That's it! Shizuku! But what's she doing here?

"My name is none of your concern at this time, although maybe if you cooperate you might earn the privilege of knowing it."

Shizuku approached me, as she came towards me I could see her hair was different, it was this kind of glowing silver sort of deal on the inside, but wait…does that mean… As she extended a hand to help me up, I could see the bracelet. The same color bracelet as mine. I don't believe it. She was a Kampfer all along. On my team. She must have just been playing me in class. But why wouldn't she tell me then?

I took the offered hand and hoisted myself off the ground. "Thanks," I told her.

"It was no problem. I couldn't leave you on the ground there. That would have been a problem for traffic."

"Uh…OK?"

Erika was up and moving over to the now captive Samantha. "All right Sam, start talking. Who sent you out here? Who are you working for?"

"I'm not telling you bitches anything."

"I would suggest playing along, we got you outnumbered two and a half to one." I'm going to guess I'm the half? That's not fair, it was all the wind's fault.

Sam leaned back and spit into Erika's face. "That's the only thing you're getting out of my mouth tonight!"

Erika was pissed, she landed a punch square in Sam's jaw, sending her head flying backwards. Determined to up the ante, she then put her swords right up against Sam's throat. "Listen you fucking White bitch! You're going to tell me exactly what I want to know, or I'm going to solve your weight problem permanently by removing your head! Now who the fuck are you working for!" Erika's really harshing my buzz right now.

"Erika, will you calm down? You're like, going crazy again."

"I am calm! I'm just going to kill this bitch if she does that again!"

"We can't get any information if you kill her!"

"Who cares? She's not talking! I'm going to kill her right now!"

"Erika you can't!"

"Why not?

"Because then we won't be any better than these bastards are, forcing people to fight and kill each other!"

"I support Erika's choice." I turned to Shizuku, she still had this stoic look on her face, even when advocating murder. "I would like the information, but if she is clearly not cooperating, than it would be a risk to keep her alive. You have one more chance, Sam was it?"

"Samantha! Say the whole fucking thing!" She was sounding a bit woozy now, so her threats were not very effective.

"OK, Samantha, are you going to tell us anything?"

"Fuck you! Just kill me and get it over with!"

"You heard her Erika, finish her off."

"Erika no!"

Erika smiled a creepy smile, something I hadn't seen on her since our first meeting in that alleyway. "Erika yes! I'm going to enjoy this. Looks like you'll be the one who'll be saying goodb-" And for the second time tonight, the finishing line was cut off, Erika was sent flying backwards by what looked like the butt end of a hockey stick, at least that's what I could tell from the lighting. Course, I've been drinking so I dunno could be something else. As Erika landed in front of me and Shizuku, another woman stepped out and started working on freeing the beaten Samantha from her chains. She was huge, almost as tall as me, the auburn colored hair shielding her face as she unwrapped the bindings. The white on her wrist as it flew around taking the chains off was clearly visible. She was another one of them. The enemy. Her weapon was laying on the ground, it look like a rather large scythe. So that's what was used to deck Erika.

"Hey what the?" I went to make a move to stop her, but I got held at bay by another gunshot. Sam's arms were free now. I don't want to risk her getting lucky this one time.

The chains littered the ground as the mysterious new combatant scooped up the battered Sam. "Thanks, hun, although you were a little late."

The redhead just shrugged as she placed her comrade in a similar position to mine earlier. Shizuku tried to grab her weapon to take another shot at pinning them down but by the time she did, they were already gone, almost like a ghost.

"Damn it!" Erika cursed, apparently feeling none worse for the wear despite the hit and the mark it left. "I shouldn't have taken so fucking long! I could have ended it!"

"It's OK," Shizuku assured her. "They'll be back. They always come back. They won't be able to take the thought of us not fighting for long. You two should both change back. You look pretty worn out."

"But we can go af..." Shizuku's eyes answered Erika's comeback before it even came out. "Ugh, fine." Erika reluctantly took Shizuku's advice and glowed for a brief moment as the green hair faded and she returned to her normal setting.

"Um…yeah, about that, I haven't figured out how to do that yet. So, um, yeah," I really wish I could. So much.

Shizuku just looked at me and smiled, shaking her head. "Amazing, I think things are changing and yet they are so similar. Oh well, you'll get it soon Ryan." Shit, she does know it's me! What the hell? What is her deal? How is she so up on this?

Erika bowed before the Asian woman, all anger having left her body the second she returned to normal I guess. "Thank you for saving us there, that was very impressive. How did you know where to find us, and our names?"

"Ryan I met earlier in one of my classes," Shizuku answered. "And I heard him using your name. As for finding you, it wasn't hard. Kämpfer are drawn to each other you know."

"Who are you then?"

"This is Shizuku!" I answered. "She's in my science class, and she's like from Japan and stuff!"

"I suppose that is one way of putting it. Shizuku Sango is my full name, and yes, I am from Japan. I came here to attend the prestigious MacMaster University."

"Erika Martin." It sounded like Erika said that with something else on her mind. "So wait, if you're from Japan, and you're a Kämpfer, would that mean you know anything about the events that occurred there over the past four years?"

For the first time, Shizuku look a little surprised. "I am surprised you would know about that, but yes. I guess you could say I was a central figure in the Red and Blue on White wars that occurred back home." Ha! I knew she was surprised!

"Seriously? You have to tell us about what happened over there! It could help us figure out what we have to do to defeat the Moderators…if what I hypothesize is correct…"

Shizuku pulled out her cell phone and looked at it, must be checking the time or something. That's some weird thing on it though. Is that what they do in Japan? Just put like random octopuses or something on there? I wouldn't put a taco on my phone. Course my phone sucks. "It's too late to get into that now. I do have classes tomorrow to think about. I assuming that you live in this area though, for the fight to be occurring here?"

"Um, yes, I actually live in that white house up there." Erika pointed to her place as Shizuku nodded her approval.

"In that case, I can come over tomorrow at some time in the afternoon. Then we can talk."

"OK, yes, that would be great!"

"It's a plan then. I shall see you both tomorrow. Hopefully Ryan will be able to stand on his own then." Hey! That's a cheap shot! You drink a gallon plus of beer, see how well you hold yourself! Shizuku's hair stopped glowing, thankfully, it was kind of tripping me a little bit. "Farewell." With that, she turned around, her cascading black hair waving behind her as she headed back towards the campus.

"Wow, you didn't tell me you were in class with another Kämpfer Ryan."

"I didn't know, she was like wearing a sweater and stuff when I met her! I couldn't see through that thing! I think I would have had her come out first thing if I had known!" It's true, three on one from the get go, and that flaming redhead wouldn't have gotten there in time to save Sam. I'm pretty sure Erika would have been using her head as a hackysack.

"Well, at least now we know we have someone else on our side. Come on, let's get back to my place."

"Uh, thanks Erika, um and I would probably just put me in the bathroom first. I don't think I'm keeping all this down tonight. Not after all that."

Erika merely sighed. "I guess I should stay with you to hold your hair then. I'm guessing you don't know how bad it can get if you get anything in there."

"Uh no. But thanks anyway."

"It's OK" Erika put my arm back on her shoulder as we continued up the street to her place. So an eventful night all around then I guess. First place in trivia, last place in Mortal Kombat, but a new ally has joined our party. And their party. Who the hell was that girl? I definitely don't remember seeing any redheads like that around campus. Is she an import like Shizuku? I dunno, there is a more important question to answer right now. Mainly, will I be able to keep this down until I reach Erika's?


	9. Chapter 9: Drinking

(All right, I'm back guys! I know you all are waiting with baited breath to see where chucknorris is going to go next with his story, but until then, I can give you another chapter to look at! It's a long one, the longest chapter I've done yet. I seem to get that way when I have to go into exposition. This is the result of rewrangling words over the course of the summer and trying to get Shizuku's character right in my head, especially at this point in her life, and I'm still not sure I'm entirely happy with it but anyway it is up! Chapter 10 is also underway, it should be shorter than this, but yeah, good to be back in the swing of things with this story!

You want answers? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth that I don't own the rights to Kampfer! (Sorry, watched A Few Good Men again last night.)

* * *

Ow. Owwwwwwwww. Ah fuck my head. Ahhhhhhhhh, OK fuck classes today. No way, no way I'm making it. Reaching out into nothing I brushed past the still lengthy hair on my head. Definitely not going, at least now I have an excuse. Why didn't I change back though? Does it not work if I'm drunk? Is that it? Are these moderators total sober nuts? Ugh, this is going to be a fun day.

I got up out of Erika's parents bed and looked around the room. Something's missing...um yeah, yeah definitely should be some clothes there. I mean, I'm not wearing any, except for the panties I'm guessing are my transformed boxers. Never realized how unappealing grey panties were. Anyway, the only clothes I could see in the area were not recognizable. There were some jeans and a pink shirt that looked like it would only come down halfway down my torso. The Spears special. And I bloody hate pink. Christ, this is going to be fun.

The jeans actually fit all right, came up a little bit above my ankle, but they'll work for now. Until I find out where mine went. This shirt is another story though, as I predicted, not even close to coming down all the way, midriff's totally exposed. And it's pinching against my nipples. Wherever my real shirt is, I better find it soon.

I started my search by checking in with Erika, heading to her room, which had the door closed. I gave a quick knock, hoping I wasn't interrupting anything.

"Come in."

I took the green light and entered, Erika was just sitting at the computer, typing up something. Looked kind of important. Probably an assignment. Glad I don't have any of those to do...I think.

"So yeah, um, have you seen my clothes or anything? All I could find were these ones."

"Yeah, I laid those out for you. They were the largest clothes I had. Your clothes from last night are in the wash. You didn't make it to the toilet in time." Fuck.

"Oh, oh god, Erika, I'm so sorry. I can usually keep it down. But, that was our first win in forever and...you know what, I'm just so sorry about that."

"Whatever, it's OK." I can tell that it's not OK. In her voice, it's got that sort of sighing tone to it, and she still hasn't even turned around in her chair or anything. I'm pretty sure I'm in trouble. "They'll need a couple more runs through, they still got some of the smell on them last time I checked."

"Shoot...and there is nothing else I can wear? This shirt is a bit high and tight."

"Sorry. There is still plenty of time before Shizuku said she would be coming over though. You can go back to your place and get something if you want. I'll be going to class in a few minutes, so I probably won't be here when you get back."

"Um, OK," I guess I can do that. It's the middle of the day, no one should be home anyway. I can just dart in and out. Yeah, that will work. "OK, door's not going to be locked when I get back, is it?"

"No. I'll just put Buckshot Raccoon at the door in case anyone other than you comes by. She can take out anyone else who shows up." Right. The thing I defeated by trapping it in a gym bag. That's a foolproof security system right there. Whatever, it's Erika's house.

"Right, then, I'll see you when you get back I guess."

"OK." She didn't even turn around once during that whole exchange. She's mad. Fuck. That's just great, I pissed off the only friend I have who can potentially kill me on a whim. I really hope she's not one to hold a grudge.

I walked downstairs and headed out the door. Jeez, the sun is way too bright today. Like scorching my retinas...and my head. Bloody hangover. I guess that's just more incentive to get back to my place as soon as possible. Thankfully the walk is quick, I can see my place, well kind of, what I can squinting my eyes like this anyway. I think that's Chris and Frankie drinking on the deck above there. Their backs are turned, must be other people out there. Probably the other guys, at least they won't see me then. Thank God. Ah the door. Perfect.

I felt a lot safer once I was inside, especially with my friends above. Now I just have to grab my stuff and get out of- "Can I help you?" What?

I turned around and Kyle was sitting on the couch in front of the TV, playing Assassin's Creed 2. Why? Don't tell me he skipped too. Damn it! Now what? "Uh...yeah," I'm stammering, what can I say that would work? "Uh, I'm Ryan's cousin. He told me to come over here to pick up some things for him."

"Where is he?"

"Umm, he's in class right now." Not technically a lie. I would be if I wasn't dealing with this whole Kämpfer thing. "And...we're going to this family party pretty much right after. He didn't think he'd have time to come back for it. So that's why I'm here. Yeah." Fuck that sounds lame.

Kyle stared at me for a second before turning back to his game. "OK, cool. His room's the one in the very back there. Let me know if you need anything." He bought it? Kyle man, you're the best roommate ever.

"I will!" Not wanting to waste this free pass, I hurried to my room. BK was asleep on the desk. Perfect. Spotting my open laptop case, I grabbed it and tossed a shirt in, some jeans, followed by the slumbering Messenger.

"Whatha-" was all it got out before I zipped up the bag.

"Just be quiet until I let you out." I had to whisper. Door was still open. Didn't need Kyle hearing anything, even if the sounds of nobles getting stabbed would probably cover anything I had to say. Is that all I need really? Just the shirt and the stuffed one? I guess so.

Closing the door behind me, I headed back for the entrance. "Find everything he needed?" Kyle asked as I emerged from the hallway.

"Uh, yep, yep. I'm pretty sure he's being paranoid, all this stuff he wanted. But whatever, you know? Not my place to ask."

"Yeah, I hear that." Kyle was still watching the screen, working on a puzzle...I think. Looks like a disc thing. "All right, have fun at your party there, Ryan's cousin."

I guess I should give a name, make it less suspicious. "It's Krystal." That one worked before, might as well go again. I slid on my shoes, eager to get out of here. "Anyway, nice meeting you."

"Later."

I left my place and breathed a sigh of relief. That could have gone so much worse than that. Now to just get back to Erika's and wait this change out. Hopefully it won't take too long. And I got my laptop now, that will help pass the time. Play some poker or something.

"Hey good looking! What are you doing down there?" Oh what the fuck! I turned around. Damn it, Frankie had apparently noticed that a girl was below him and decided to introduce himself. Chris and Jack were there too, damn it!

I gave a wave back. "Uh, I'm just going through here. Walking, you know."

"Well why don't you come on up here? Join the party! It's the first gorgeous day we've had all year, we could use a gorgeous girl to make it better!" Oh fuck me. No wait don't fuck me! Ugh, I...ugh.

"Sorry, gotta go!" Before I puke.

"Some other time then!" Frankie called out. Um, no Frankie. Not what you're thinking. Besides, I've heard stories from girls in the dorm. Not exactly stellar, even if I was into that. Yeah, so out of here.

I made it back to Erika's. No one else decided to hit on me, that's good. Only passed an old woman walking her dog on the trip, so doubly good. Heading up the walkway, BK could take no more and started beating against the zipper in my bag. "Open up! I want out!"

"Almost there, just hold on. Isn't there a book in there?"

"No! There's nothing but a laptop I can't get open and clothes that look and smell like crap!"

I opened the door without any trouble. At least Erika isn't mad enough to lock me out. Once inside, I opened the bag and BK erupted out of it, enjoying the freedom it had been allowed. "Don't ever do that to me again! I was totally not ready for that!"

"Whatever. I was pressed for time, had to get you in and out."

"Looking like that? You probably could have strolled into a bank and helped yourself in the vault. Are you that ashamed of how you look?"

"Like this? Yes! Especially when my friends are freaking hitting on me!"

"I can't exactly blame them! Anyway, why are we back here? More training?"

"No, we met a new Kämpfer last night, and she's coming over today to get caught up to speed on what we've been doing."

"Convinced another poor soul to join your misguided fight against the Moderators? It's enough to be gambling with your own life Ryan, but bringing others into it is wrong."

"Hey, we didn't even say anything. She helped us out big last night, so she's already better at fighting than me. Maybe Erika too. She was really good."

"I hope for your sake she is. She's going to need be more than good to survive the Whites."

"Eh, whatever. Look you go hang out with your raccoon buddy upstairs. I'm going to try to get back to normal before Erika gets home so I can return her clothes." I tossed BK onto the second floor, up and over the stair railing. I don't think it appreciated the rough landing up top, but by the time it could have come to, I was already out of earshot, so who cares?

First stop was the laundry room, it was buried in the back corner of the house. I checked the machines since Erika said they were still going. I found my clothes from last night still in the washing machine. And it's easy to see why, they still stink. Dammit. Back in they go for another spin then. Next was the downstairs bathroom, so I could change out of Erika's clothes. I didn't realize how much weight I actually lost during these changes, the t-shirt I got is draped over my body, and I have to hold up the jeans so they won't be showing off my ass to the entire Lake District. I'm going to have to find a belt or something. Ah screw it, hopefully these will fit me again soon enough.

Now it's on to the shoreline in back. I know that rapid fire target thing didn't do the job the last time there, but I gotta try something. Concentrating hasn't been working. The bracelet's gotta be running out of juice by now, maybe it'll only take a couple shots. Plus a little practice won't hurt. Yeah, a little practice. This shouldn't take too long.

* * *

Come on! You fucking piece of shit bracelet! I've been firing off shots for half an hour! That rock's got like three or four bloody coats of ice on it! I'm stone cold sober! Why won't you fucking change me back! Ugh! This sucks! I hate this!

I'm just staring at this stupid fucking bracelet, it hasn't even blinked the whole time I've been out here! Will you just change already? Change! Change, change, change, change, change! Fuck!

I fell to my knees and hit the gravelly sand of the beach, hands covering my face. What am I doing wrong? Why can't I just do this one...simple...thing? God I'm so useless at this!

OK, OK, I have to just calm down. Can't...can't lose my head over this. Maybe...maybe it's the size. Maybe if I make like, a really, really big ice ball. That will drain it better than these little scrawny shots.

I pointed my hand at the rock, half the ice from the last coat already melted off. The blue energy started forming again, but I held it this time, and it grew big. It was quickly larger than my hand, after a few more seconds it was larger than my head. I don't think I ever had it this big. And it's still going. It reached volleyball, then medicine ball, then beach ball. I can feel all the energy circulating around this giant orb. I don't know if I can control this...fuck! I had to let go, it was just too much. My aim was still good though. Even as I fell backwards from the force of that massive shot, it nailed the rock, covering it in another coat of ice, and then getting a good chunk of the ground surrounding it too, almost to the water. Or at least that's what I saw when I sat back up. All I could say to that was just "Whoa." I didn't really get a good look at what I did, not just because I was breathing pretty heavy, because I noticed something else. The blinking from my wrist. Fina-fucking-lly! Yes! Yes! It never felt so good to feel so weird and tingly in my life! After all that pointless firing, I'm finally going to be back to normal. It was quick to take me back to the real me, I barely felt a thing.

After the change stopped, I remained sitting on the beach for a minute or two, just basking in my temporary triumph. I've finally beaten this dang bracelet on my own. Took a ton of ice, but I did it. Maybe now, maybe now I can get this under control. Do it without creating an iceberg... Wow, I need a drink.

I headed back up to Erika's house, leaving the beach to thaw out. Once inside I went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. It was still warm, I should have taken some of that ice for cubes. Oh well. Heading upstairs, everything was still intact, no sign of BK though. Erika's door was open a crack, it probably went in there.

Opening the door and walking in, I don't think I was ready for what I saw on the floor. I mean, I probably should have expected something like that, given the limey accent Erika's messenger had, but still, sitting on the floor with BK? Drinking tea? Least I hope that's tea. Has to be tea with that massive pot I guess. Wait where would it get tea? Where would it get hot water? How the hell can it carry that pot? "What are you two doing up here?"

"What does it look like?" BK responded, scorn present in it's voice. "We are enjoying some tea, I actually haven't had this quality of a drink in a long time. Where did you get this from, Raccoon?"

"Oh thank you for asking, Kangaroo. It's a special blend I found in the kitchen one day. It's a variation on Earl Grey, with delightful citrus tones and a hint of nutmeg."

"I'm glad you two are enjoying it. Looks like you're going to be cleaning it off the floor there." I pointed at the growing brown puddle underneath the two messengers.

"Damn my not having a stomach!" BK was cursing itself pretty loud. "Well at least I can't be stained a farther brown!" It pointed at BR. "You're helping me clean this! Most of this puddle is yours!"

"I beg your pardon? I went through all the trouble of making the tea, you can certainly mop it up!"

"What the hell? I'm not cleaning up your mess! Lazy blue bitch!"

"Red twat!"

The two went at each other again, little stubby arms reaching out to the opponents' neck. I can really only shake my head at this. These two have mood swings so wild even Erika would be given a run for her money. Speaking of which... "Hey, well, whenever you two are done tea-wrestling, someone clean it up before Erika gets back or both of you are getting punted into the ocean." They were still fighting. Oh well, maybe they'll sop it all up.

I left the war zone and went to go back downstairs to check to see if my clothes were any closer to being decontaminated when the doorbell got my attention first. I wasn't outside that long was I? For Erika to be back already? Those two had better be finishing their fight on a mat of Bounty sheets right now. Or at least a towel.

Right, so the door. I went to it and opened up, and since I expected Erika, I was kinda staring down a little, so all I got when I looked out why an eyeful of boob. An excellent eyeful of boob. "Hello? I'm up here?" Shit. Looking upward directed me into the face of Shizuku. I didn't realize how tall she was. I think she almost reaches my height. "I thought this was Erika's house?"

"Oh it is, yeah it is. She's just in class right now, so I'm just here, holding down the fort."

"Well at least you're back to normal," she said, as she came strolling in, taking off her jacket and hanging it casually on the stand next to it. "I was afraid you'd still be a girl when I got here. Nice to know you at least have some control over your shifting."

"Yeah, sure do." Barely. "So, you off class already? I wasn't expecting you to be here this early."

"These are my lighter days, yes. Most of my classes are on Tuesday and Thursday, it leaves more time for other activities. Plus it means I can go out on Thursday evenings and make sure no one is getting attacked."

I didn't think she'd bring last night up that fast either. Right to the point, this one. "Yeah, thanks again for that, by the way. That was awesome."

"Awesome? You should be groveling at Miss Shizuku's feet for making the time in her schedule to save your sorry butt!" Wait, where is that coming from? Oh wait, messenger, right. Yep, that fuzzy thing coming out of her purse has to be doing it. What is it, a cat?

"This would be my Messenger, Electrocuted Wildcat." Well I was kind of right.

"I hate riding around in that purse! Back in Japan I could do whatever I wanted!"

"Protocols in this country are a bit different than home. Besides, in Japan there was too much attention attracted, we have to be careful that the same does not happen here."

"Then I hate this country! I wish to return to Japan!" I can't even place that voice. It's so weird.

"You know what, uh, Wildcat, why don't you go upstairs and play with the other Messengers?" Go annoy BK, it'll finally learn how I feel about it.

"Well it will be nice to have contact with my fellow Messengers again anyway. I will go." Wildcat started bounding up the stairs in the lobby. Certainly a lot more agile than BK.

"Well, what time is Erika going to be expected back?"

"Uh, I don't know, probably another hour or so. I know she's got a back to back."

"Hmmm, well perhaps you can show me around, while we wait?"

"Sure. Why not? Give you the two cent tour."

The tour was quick, didn't bother going upstairs yet, figured we'll leave that for when Erika gets back. I brought Shizuku into the backyard last. The sun's just starting to hang down over the ocean there, it's actually a really nice scene. Or it would be if the light wasn't still bouncing off that ice-encrusted rock. Fuck my eyes. I really thought that would have been gone by now.

"Is that your work on the rock there?" Shizuku asked. No, it was that dude from the Incredibles. He randomly showed up and started blasting the beach before I warned him I had some motherfucking snakes and he ran.

"Yeah, I was training a bit earlier trying to wear out the bracelet. Like I said last night, still haven't gotten the changing back part of it down 100% yet. Took a bit, but at least I did it on my own this time."

"That's good. I am impressed that you are training. Shows that you two are taking this a bit more seriously than my friends back home did."

"So there are others?"

Shizuku nodded. "Yes, I'll talk more about that when Erika gets back...This is a very beautiful spot though."

"Yeah it's pretty nice. It's probably the only beach I'll be hitting this year, so it's good to enjoy it I guess."

"Oh? Don't you have any plans for Spring Break? I assumed that all college students in Canada would be as passionate for vacationing as videos and beer commercials would suggest."

"Oh I would love to go, problem is there is no money to be going with. Kinda need that."

Shizuku thought for a second. "There is that talent contest the school is putting on. Can't you try and win that if you are so hard-pressed for money?"

I could only laugh. "With what talent? I mean yeah, I can maybe sing a little bit, but that won't be good enough."

"You sing? Let me hear it." What? I'm not even drunk now though.

"I...well...OK. One sec." Gotta warmup then. Get my voice right and all that. "_Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you...by now, you should have somehow realized what you gotta do...I don't believe that ANYbody feels the way I do, bout you now._"

Shizuku smiled a tiny smile. "That's not bad, actually. You have good control over your voice. You could certainly hold your own in the karaoke boxes."

"Thanks, but I can't play an instrument to save my life. And that's going to be necessary to even put a good showing in. I know my buddies are probably going to enter with their band, so they'll probably take the whole thing down."

"Hmmm, you're probably right." Thank you for confirming that, Shizuku. Although things are kind of quiet now. Anything else you want to talk about? "Let's go back inside. Erika's class should have ended by now. I'm assuming it's an hour long as well?" Guess not.

"Uh, yeah. Who knows? She may even be back by now." With that, we headed back to the house.

I didn't expect Erika to be back by the time we got up there, but sure enough, as we made it to the front lobby, she was there, just taking off her shoes. "Oh, hey Ryan...and Shizuku! I'm sorry! I didn't expect you here so early!"

"Don't worry. Ryan was a gracious host in your place. Made me feel **right **at home." OK a bit much there Shizuku. I don't know why you had to put that accent on there. "Anyway, now that you're home, shall we go up to your room? I can tell you everything I can about the situation you have found yourselves in, and do my best to fill in the blanks."

"Yeah that would be great! I'll just go make sure everything's clean and stuff!" Erika dashed up the stairs towards her room, bag in tow.

I turned to Shizuku. "What was that for? You made it sound like something was up..."

Shizuku lowered her head and closed her eyes. "What? I didn't say anything that wasn't true." She looked back up at me and whoa. Those eyes. They're like purple mirrors, I can't even get a read or anything. "You and Natsuru are similar in so many ways, it's just like home."

"Who the hell is Natsuru?"

"ACK! What the hell, Buckshot! It's all over the floor! What did I tell you about this?"

"We should probably go up and help Erika, don't you think Ryan?"

Damn she's cold. "Yeah. Sure."

We both headed up the stairs to see just how bad the mess the Messengers left was. There wasn't much left when we got up there, Erika was on the ground with a towel, the three toys were off to the side, Wildcat looking more like it had gotten half a tan with the tea coating it's lower half. "I don't get to entertain much as it is," BR was explaining to Erika, "And it's a bloody wonder if I ever will again with you ruining everything like this!"

"You couldn't at least clean it up? I know you're not that helpless!"

"Eh, you do a better job."

Erika stood up, apparently throwing in the towel on this mop job. "I'll try to clean it better later. Come on in." I grabbed some bed. It was right there and I didn't have to traverse that sticky puddle on the floor. Shizuku went right over it though, grabbing Erika's computer chair and wheeling it over in front of the bed. Erika sat down beside me on the bed. It wasn't like right up to me, but still, closer than I expected. Maybe Shizuku did get to her.

"OK then. Would you like me to start from the beginning?"

"Yes! Yes please! Tell us everything you know about this!" Erika sure is excited.

"OK," Shizuku started. "I've been a Kämpfer for about six years now, ever since I got Wildcat there."

"Best thing that could have happened to you." The toy chipped in.

"Oh my god! That is so cool! Your messenger sounds just like Nana Mizuki!" Erika gushed.

"Who the hell is Nana Mizuki?" Seriously I don't know.

"She's a seiyu in a lot of animes in Japan. She did the voice of Hinata in Naruto!"

"Oh...K" At least I actually know who that is. If that was true I thought she'd talk softer. Hinata wasn't near as annoying.

"Anyway," Shizuku continued. "At first, I was fully involved in the Red vs. Blue war, killing a few opposing Kämpfers, I had no time for forgiveness for them. Then, four years ago, a couple of Blues named Natsuru and Akane changed my thinking on the entire conflict."

So that's who Natsuru is! Wait, so I remind her of another girl? Fuck!

"They got the best of me in a two on one fight, and decided to spare me, an act of mercy I thought was long gone from the war. After that, we started to try and find out what exactly this war was all about and when new Kämpfer appeared, we would try to recruit them to our group. The first one was easy enough to convince, one of Natsuru's childhood friends, a girl named Mikoto. It gave us a core group of four, and with that, we had enough force to try take on the moderator of the area, a girl named Kaede Sakura."

Wait, that sounds familiar? Isn't that who Erika said was missing a while ago? ...I can't remember.

"After an initial battle in which she tried to turn Natsuru on the rest of us, Kaede kept sending her army of White Kämpfers after us and we got into fights all over the city and surrounding area. Occasionally she would create new Kämpfers to try and get the conflict started back up again, but we were always either able to convince them to join our cause, or dispatch them if they refused to cooperate. Usually that fell to me, since none of the others had ever killed any other Kämpfer before. It was rough, and Natsuru always protested, but the rest of us knew it had to be done to allow for full concentration on the main problem. She tried to brainwash some of us a couple of times as well, that time she got Akane after us was real trouble, but we were able to break most of the holds Kaede had over us and we held strong. Finally, during the last summer break, we reached the climax of our battles. Our group faced off against Kaede's one last time, winner take all, and the battle was furious. We lost a couple of additional recruits during that battle, the White Kämpfer were ruthless, but myself, Natsuru, Akane and Mikoto, we were able to dispatch them, once and for all. That left us against Kaede. She was a formidable fighter, even coming at her from multiple sides we didn't seem to have an answer for what she could do with that katana and pistol combo of hers. Finally Natsuru came in with a fireball attack that was finally able to take down Kaede. She never saw it coming. We had her on her knees, and were going to end it until suddenly, she disappeared. Her body just fazed out right in front of us. It wasn't like with the other Kämpfers that we had killed, it was sudden and she was still moving. She was going into this monologue about how it wouldn't be the last we saw of her, and it ended up being the last we saw of her. None of us could figure out what had happened, and she failed to show up at school the next day. We figured she was dead. The bracelets still didn't come off, but with no more Moderator activity in the area, we just sort of gave up on it, figuring it was over and we moved on with our lives. I should have figured that it wasn't over."

So they killed the head person and they still couldn't get the damn bracelets off? Fuck! That means I could be stuck with this! If Shizuku can't get rid of it, and she is a hell of lot more experienced with this than I am, what chance do I have? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

"So what can we do about this?" Erika asked. "From the sounds of things, even if we do manage to beat whatever moderator has come here, we're going to be Kämpfer for the rest of our lives."

"Not necessarily," Shizuku explained. "The reason we weren't able to get any kind of answer from Kaede is because she was taken out before we could start interrogating her. If we can stop this moderator, even if it is Kaede again, we may be able to get more leverage against whoever is in control of this situation, maybe even end it once and for all this time."

That would be nice. I would like to have some continuity in my body type again. "So can we get these other people in to help then? Probably be a lot easier to fight these people if we have an entire crew going against them, right?"

"We're trying to keep a low profile. It was bad enough that all four of us were brought into questioning after Kaede disappeared. Having everyone on the move like that without any valid reasoning to it would be suspicious. That's part of why I came over to Canada for school. With Mikoto off with her father on more archeological trips, that keeps everyone reasonably apart. Natsuru and Akane are still in Japan, so they can keep the rest of us up to date on what is going on. Although I haven't heard from any of the others in a while. I think Tara and Megumi went back to America, but I'm not sure. So unless this moderator starts getting frisky with their Entrails Animals handouts, and I doubt they will if they know we're fighting back this is the group for now." Fun times. And they had how many problems with this Sakura chick, even with the numbers advantage? Damn, we're doomed.

"Well, we'll just have to do our best to stop these people then!" Erika, when did you get so chipper? Earlier you pretty much gave me the stink eye on the way out.

Shizuku smiled. "I'm glad you are so eager for this, Erika. It won't be easy, but you and Ryan are both ahead of where Natsuru and Akane were when I met them. Akane still can't control herself sometimes in her Kämpfer form, and Ryan when I said you remind me of Natsuru, it was because you both had such problems going back and forth between forms at the start, along with other superficial facts. Both guys, both Zaubers, it's hard not to draw parallels between you two."

Natsuru's a guy's name? Never would have guessed. "So I'm not the only other guy who has to suffer through this? Poor bastard."

"Oh he's gotten to enjoy it. In fact he's pretty much one of the girls in Kämpfer form." Fuck. I really don't need to hear that. The moment I start thinking about Sex and the City and shopping in a favorable light, I'm freezing my own head in ice. "The point is, he's in complete control of it now, and soon you will be too." Yay. Oh I'm getting a text too. Goody. Probably my cell phone company giving me a friendly reminder that I need to give them another sea-doo payment.

I pulled my phone and checked it, it was from Jack. [Hey man, having a party upstairs. Come on up, bring some booze.] I sent out a quick reply. [Cool. Gonna have to get some. Be by in a bit.] I got up from the bed. "Well this has been fun. I've got a party I've got to get booze for though. So Erika, I'm going to leave my stuff in the washer, it still probably needs another go to be clean."

"A party? As in a house party?" Shizuku asked. "I wouldn't mind coming along if that's allowed. The people in my biology society are starting to get a little tiring."

"Uh sure, sure, shouldn't be a problem." Really it shouldn't. People come in unannounced all the time. Hell I've done it a couple of times.

"Great. It should be fun." Awesome.

"I'll come too!" Erika almost shouted.

"Erika you sure? I know you're not much of a drinker and there are going to be copious amounts of booze here."

"That's fine! I can bring something to drink! I know where my parents keep the liquor! I'll just get something from there!"

"Well I will have to buy some refreshments as well. Perhaps I can tag along with you Ryan?"

"That's cool Shizuku. You want to go to the store now then, we'll come back get Erika and then head back to the party? It's just above my place, it's not far away."

"That sounds like a great idea. Perhaps you could show me what would be the best drink to buy."

"I'll come too!" Erika's getting loud.

"Oh?" Shizuku asked. "But you just said that you already had drinks in the house? There's really no need for you to come with. Besides, someone should stay and watch the Messengers in case they have another tea party. Don't you think?"

Erika's going red. Not a good look for her. "Fine! I'll stay here and get ready for the party." She turned to her Messenger. "And I'll finish cleaning up the mess that you made!"

"Hey! It wasn't a mess! It was tea!" BR was standing there arms crossed, adamant that it's efforts were worth it. Wildcat just stood there looking at it's compatriot but...

"Where'd BK go?"

"I don't know." Wildcat answered. "She left pretty much right after Mistress Shizuku got in the room. Said the tea hit her wrong."

"How is that even possible?"

Wildcat just shrugged. "Don't ask me. I don't know how we work."

"Whatever. OK, we'll be back in a little bit Erika."

"OK then!" Erika shut the door on me and Shizuku and I guess she proceeded to start cleaning? I dunno, sounded like she was getting pretty angry at her messengers. Lot of grunts there. Shizuku and me were out the door fast, probably good to get back as soon as possible if Erika's going to be like that. Don't need her flying into rage mode.

* * *

As we were walking up towards Blackpool, I was trying to make a decision in my head. Should I stick with the Keith's tonight or go with something a bit harder like the rum and coke combo? Such tough choices.

"There is another reason you remind me of Natsuru," Shizuku mentioned. She's closer than I remembered. "From the dynamic between you and Erika I'm going to guess that you were the one who convinced her to fight the Whites instead of the other way around?"

"Well, yeah." How could she tell? "Erika was kinda crazy when I first met her, a lot more than she was last night when we were fighting." I just gotta look at my left arm to remember how crazy she was.

"Again, Natsuru and Akane were the same way. Natsuru was the calm, level-headed, if a bit stupid one, and Akane was the rash one who let her emotions due the talking, and the usual emotion was anger. But Natsuru was able to get through to her, and eventually through to me. If you were able to do that with Erika, it's no wonder she's fallen for you."

Shoot, I knew it! I knew I had her on Valentine's Day! Fucking right! But I probably blew it by yakking all over the place last night. "Uh, you sure about that? She didn't sound to smitten with me earlier today."

"I thought she made it pretty obvious. Ryan, I had hoped you were somewhat less oblivious than Natsuru."

"Well it's not that, it's just, well, I've never been good at figuring out what girls are really thinking. I can't really pick up on subtle signs or anything like that."

"You're telling me." What does that mean? Look I suck at recognizing that stuff, I get it. "Maybe one day you'll get better at it."

Chatter pretty much dropped off after that. We were almost at Blackpool anyway, and it's almost impossible to make small talk while travelling that street. It's one of the busiest in the city for a reason, all the restaurants and stores on it, ranging from Ankara to the McD's/Taco Bell combo a couple buildings over. Plus it's the major street connecting the West and East ends, so all the traffic goes through there. It's a bit of a walk down it to get to the liquor store, past the rows of banks and flower shops and struggling Korean eateries. There's a Greek place that does well, but that's because they offer the greasiest cheapest breakfast in the city. The Hangover Special as I like to call it. But it is pretty good.

The liquor store is attached to the grocery store on Blackpool, which is nice if you need to pick up mix at the same time. That's probably what I'll suggest to Shizuku, especially if she hasn't really partied hard before. I don't need to peruse or anything. I'll just get my beer and go. It's still early Friday, gotta pace the weekend.

Walking in there is a pallet of Keith's by the door, as usual. I'd normally just grab and go, but if I'm drinking right when I get there, I gotta get some cooler beer. That's in the back. "Uh yeah, so do you know what you're looking for in particular there Shizuku?"

"Oh I'm not sure. Something light probably. What are you getting?"

"Just a case of Keith's."

"Is that good?"

"Best beer in the world! Seriously, all the other stuff? Can't hold a candle."

"Well you certainly make it sound tasty."

"I don't have to. It is tasty."

"Maybe I'll get some of that then." Didn't peg Shizuku as a beer drinker. Most girls don't go for it, like I said, they go for the vodka cranberry shit.

"Well if you're going to do that, we might as well split a 24 then, save a little bit of cash."

"OK, if that's what you suggest Ryan." 24 it is.

So that went much quicker than I thought it would. We paid up and carted the case back closer to home. I tried to carry the case solo all the way to Erika's but 24s are very heavy. Shizuku ended up grabbing one side for the last leg, kinda felt like a tool but still, was nice to have the relief on my pong shooting arm.

Got back to Erika's in no time, Erika was pretty much at the door ready to greet us, I don't think she was happy to see us basically holding hands through a case of beer. She had brought out a sibling of that red shirt she had worn on Valentine's Day. Green number. Very nice. She had a bottle of lifted vodka in her hand...and nothing else.

"Erika, you're not going to just drink that vodka straight at the party, are you?" I know that's not a good idea.

"I can handle it!"

"No. No you can't. I can't handle it. If you're going to do that, get some juice or something to go with it."

"Fine. Be right back." Erika retreated to the kitchen for a second, rummaging around in the fridge before emerging with another bottle. The deep red coloring could only mean one thing. Cranberry juice. Who called that one? "OK. Ready!"

"All right let's get going then."

The walk went quick, I took the 24 from Shizuku. No need to split the duties over the shorter distance. The boys were still out on the deck as we walked up. "How she going, boys?" I called out.

I got a wave back from Jack. "Come on up man!" Easier to follow through on that, the stairs are right there. I guess they're to serve as the building's fire escape, but it's a deck. No way around it. That's what they use it for upstairs. Might as well. In a fire it's going to burn anyway.

"Hey guys," I said coming up. "Enough room in the fridge for a 24?"

"I don't think so," Corey was quick to point out. "That fridge is packed."

"Ah I can find room. Didn't play all that Tetris in school for nothing! Oh, right, guys, these are my friends, Erika and Shizuku."

"Friends, huh?" Should have known Frankie would have been right on the both of them. "Well, hello there." Went for Shizuku right away. "If you're a friend of Ryan's surely he's told you about me?"

"I don't think so. I would have remembered something about a man who has to get on a footstool to look me in the eye." Frankie is short but damn.

He stumbled back a little bit after that remark. "Well, trust me, I'm only short in the height department. Of course, if you don't take my word on it, you're more than welcome to check."

"Oh don't worry." Shizuku reached into the box, pulling out a bottle or beer. "I trust you." With that she headed inside.

"Ryan, I'm going to have to get her. You know that right?"

"You're welcome to try Frankie, but I don't know. She shot you down twice."

"Third time's a charm!" Frankie was quick on Shizuku's heels inside.

"Erika why don't you go inside. I'm sure Frankie will show you where the glasses are so you can mix that stuff up."

"Um, OK. I'll be back." Erika went inside, awaiting Frankie's imminent rejection.

"Some friends you got theare man," Corey commented. "Where'd you meet them at? Can't be clahss. I'd hahve noticed someone like that Asian chick."

"You're just going to the wrong classes. That's where I met them. That's where I was when Jack here texted me! In class! They wanted to know what was up so I told them and brought them!"

"Cool. Well good to hahve some fresh blood on the pong courts theare." Boston accent on Corey, it's so strong. I didn't know there had two syllables until I met him.

"Speaking of which, let's get in there, play a bit!" Chris said. "It's a party right?"

We all agreed that this was indeed a party and headed inside.

* * *

Ah man, that was a good time. I needed that. Party went really well. Everyone was there, was talking to all sorts of people. Had a good night on the pong courts. Played against Shizuku and Erika. Frankie was trying so hard to team up with her, but she said it had to be girls. I said I'd team with Frankie so he'd be quiet. It was close. Shizuku said she never played before but she was hitting all kinds of cups. Poor Erika, she was just so out of it she couldn't even keep it on the table. She was swimming in the vodka. Me and Frankie did enough to seal the win, but we got played off the table in the next game by Corey and Karen. When the hell did they get so good? Must be Corey's damn lucky jersey. Damn Bruins. Fuck them!

Anyway we stayed till like midnight or so, that's when Erika started feeling real sick. We got her out of the house but she wasn't going to make it home. No way. We managed to get her into my place before she puked in the backyard. Kind of broke up Kyle's Mario Party thing, had to apologize for that. Stephanie was out there too, surprised to see her out drinking. I think I drank with her once, that's it. Shizuku looked after Erika in the washroom while I tried to talk over the sounds. Stef won the Mario Party game, she's real lucky too, I guess.

After Erika was done, Shizuku said she'd take her home. That sounded like a plan, I didn't want to walk anywhere. Not after putting up double digits of Keith's. So yeah, they left, Mario Party was over so I pretty much just went to bed. But yeah, today was a good day after all I guess. Don't even have to worry about BK cause its...still at Erika's. Ah fuck it. I'll deal with that tomorrow. Sleep now. Sleep is good.

* * *

(All right, thanks for sticking with that one the whole way through guys. By the way the Tara and Megumi name check is a reference to Awinnerwasyou's excellent Kampfer fan fic, Battle Against Fate from last year. Check it out if you want a more faithful adaptation of the original story. Anyway, that's all I got for now. See you all next chapter!)


	10. Chapter 10: Jamming

(Wow, that took much longer than I anticpated. Anyway, hello again what little fans I probably have left! I apologize again for the lengthy wait between chapters. There is an explanation. During writing of this chapter, my previous laptop departed to that great computer lab in the sky, the victim of a messed up battery port and an adapter that was giving it nothing. So I lost all the writing that I had accomplished to that point, but on the bright side, I now have a bright new shiny laptop that is miles better. So it all works out I guess.

Second, I had a lot of trouble actually working through the setup in this chapter, just to build up the events in a plausible way without giving away too much. I'm still not sure I'm happy with it, but I guess it works. This chapter is the first in a three chapter arc I have planned out in my head. Since I'm getting this up now, I will be taking a bit of a break since I have a lot of other writing to do for classes and such, being that time of the year when they start wrapping things up in a hurry, but I will be getting back to this once that is done and I have the free time again.

Anyway, I'm rambling on, so I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, get all the references, send me a review or something, all that fun stuff, and I'll see you back here when I'm ready to put up Chapter 11!

I do not own any of the rights to Kämpfer. I guess you could say there is a bit of a Righter's Block on them. *ba dum tsh* Man that was bad...)

* * *

So I have no idea what's going on right now. Erika sent me this text late last night that me, her and Shizuku were supposed to meet up at her place today, kinda knocked me out of the Saturday night mood, but I needed some recovery anyway. I'm going to guess the girls needed the same, at least Erika did. Man she was not looking good Friday. I'll get the first-hand report soon enough once I get inside her place.

"So what is this all about?" My travelling companion, as usual, can't keep it's mouth shut for an entire trip.

"I told you, I don't know." It's true. I don't know why BK asked me that. "Just that it involves the three of us."

"It could be a trap! That Shizuku looks like the sneaky backstabbing type to me."

"If that was her motive, then why would she be trying to trap her own teammate?" I gave my bracelet a spin as I went to ring the doorbell, just to remind that toy what color it was. "You really need to think things through before you say them, BK."

"Fine, just don't come crawling to me when she's gutting you like a fish." What's with all this BK hate? It's more venomous then it usually is.

Erika was quick to the door, I didn't even hear her coming. She must be feeling better at least. "Oh, hey Ryan."

"Hey Erika. So what's going on here? What was the text for?"

Erika shrugged. "I don't know myself. Shizuku told me to text you since she didn't have your number yet. She's the one who wanted to get together." She leaned to the side a little bit. "Here she comes now, you should be able to ask her yourself."

I turned around, Erika was right. Shizuku was coming up the street now. She had something on her back, something big. Looked like a guitar case. I think Chris has something like that, but I don't think it's red...Yeah it's definitely a guitar case, I can tell now that she's pretty much here.

"Good afternoon, you two," she said. She had this kind of soft sing-song tune to her voice. I don't know. I don't like it. I think she could tell. "You're both no doubt wondering why I have a case on my back?"

"I guess so," Erika answered. "What is going on, Shizuku?"

"If you allow me to come in, I can explain."

"All right." Shizuku took the cue and made her way inside, barely stopping the lobby to kick off her shoes before heading up to Erika's room. I looked over at Erika, she was being pretty cold, but lately that's been par for the course. She hurried up the stairs after Shizuku. I just don't know what is going on, big surprise. I'm guessing something with guitars, but if that's the case, then what? Are we going to practice the El Kabong style of martial arts?

As we took up our usual meeting seats in Erika's room, Shizuku set the case down on the floor. "All right then, let's get started. Ryan told me before that he was going to be unable to go anywhere during the Winter Break due to his current financial situation. I think there is an easy way to rectify the problem, which is why I have this case here."

"Wait, so you're going to play for change on the corner now? That doesn't work very well here, especially in wintertime. People are reluctant to give coins if it means they have to take their hands out of their pockets to do it."

Shizuku gave me a look of derision. "Of course I'm not playing for change. Why do that when there is a much bigger prize available right on campus?" Really?

"The talent thing? You want to do that?"

"Not me, us." What? Come on Shizuku, what are you playing at here? "We enter as a band. You said you sing, so you can do that. Erika told me she played guitar, so she'll handle that role."

"Wait, I don't remember telling you that!" Erika's face is getting kinda red. It's funny.

"Of course you don't. You were very drunk when you said that, on the way back from that party the other night. I almost didn't believe you at first, but then you insisted on playing for me and I thought it was really good. You did very well with your version of Rakuen."

Erika's definitely red now. She looked a little embarrassed. I don't know why, that's a good song. "Oh, well...thank you, Shizuku."

"Though don't open your mouth. You sounded like a cat caught on a teppannaki and your drunken Japanese was incomprehensible." Now Erika looked pissed. I can only imagine what Shizuku had to hear to give that kind of review.

"And I, as it so happens, can play this." Shizuku opened up that case at her feet, it wasn't a guitar, it was like a bass I think. It was red, just like her bracelet, and really shiny too. "I learned how to play bass because my parents felt I should have something else to put on my school applications and I didn't want to go with the cliche violin, cello sort of deal." Cause everything about you screams cliche Shizuku. "So with these skill sets coming together, I think we have a very good chance of coming in first, and with the prize money I think we should spend it on a proper Spring Break. I personally would like the chance to see a Caribbean locale while studying on the side of the world." I wouldn't mind getting back down. That last time with my parents was pretty sweet. Got to play beer pong with the old man. Good times.

"OK then but really, you think we can win this?" I asked. "I mean, the contest is in three days. I've never done anything other than karaoke, you've only heard Erika when she's plastered,"

"Hey! I was still good!"

"And as a kicker, there isn't even a drummer for this band, which I would think would be necessary if we want to sound good with this set up." Plus, my buddies have the stringed instruments and vocals cornered. We need something to stand out over them.

Shizuku dismissed my concerns with a wave of her hand. "I'm taking all things into consideration. I just wanted to see how we sounded together today and then I will make the necessary adjustments to assure that we have the necessary tools to win this competition." From the sounds of it, Shizuku thinks this is a done deal. If that's the case, I dunno, maybe we do stand a chance at winning this thing.

"OK, I'm in then. What songs do you know?"

"That's the great part about the information era, Ryan. The internet knows all the songs we need."

* * *

So we've been at it for a couple of hours now, its a slow process getting ready to get these songs going. We've got three separate windows going at once. One for lyrics, one for guitar tabs and one for bass tabs. It's taken about 30 minutes per song just to get the basics, but then after a play through or two, we've been able to get it set down. Hearing Californication played as though an opossum is plucking at a rusted mattress is grating at first, but Erika eventually picks up the simple chord progression that identifies one of my favorite songs ever. Still sounds a bit weird without drums though. Hopefully Shizuku's got a solution for that.

"That last song was good. Let's do it again." Shizuku's been calling most of the shots for this, which I don't mind. Better her take control than me. More than happy to be the powerless figurehead. "You two mind if I try something a little different this time?"

"You're running this Shizuku," I told her. "Do whatever you like."

"Good." She grabbed my wrist. What is she...oh fuck. Fuck no. She's switching me over. I can feel it happening. How is she doing this? Fucking hell! It's too quick, I can't stop it. Quickly the room became an all girls affair.

"Um, what the fuck was that about?"

"I want to take all possible options for this contest into consideration. So I figured you could give it an attempt in your Kämpfer form. Just to see what it would sound like."

"How am I going to know how to sing? I can't control my voice like I can in my regular body. I really don't see the point of this other than to piss me off."

"Just try it. Once. If you sound terrible, I'll never bring it up again." I really don't know why she won't just take my word for it that this isn't going to work, but fine. Whatever. One bloody song.

"If it'll prove I'm right, fine. What do you want to do? Scar Tissue again?"

"That should work. You ready Erika?"

Erika got up off the bed and nodded as she slid her guitar back into position.

"OK, one, two, three..." Let's just get this over with.

Erika is actually a quick learner, not surprising. We played Scar Tissue only three times today, but she's got the opening pretty much down. There's the cue.

"_Scar tissue that I wish you saw / Sarcasm Mr. Know-it-all / Close your eyes and I'll kiss you cause / With the birds I'll share..._"

This is the kind of song I know I can do normally, cause I'm much better with the slower stuff, but right now, I dunno. I don't know where to go on this. The lyrics sound a bit weird too from this point of view, more about like self-discovery and self-image than the resurrection from the drug lifestyle that this is supposed to symbolize.

Erika can't really handle Frusciante's solo yet, but it's coming. Might be able to get that down by tomorrow or Tuesday, if we're lucky. Usually these talent contests are just a three song set, so hopefully that's all we need. This, Californication, maybe What I Got, I thought that was the best one out of the others. I'm thinking too much during this. I can't even tell how I'm doing. I guess I don't need to care. Least it's almost over.

"_With the birds I'll share this lonely view and / With the birds I'll share this lonely viewwwww..._"

I looked over at the other two as I finished up the vocals. Shizuku was looking over at Erika, smiling as she finished up out her bass progression. Erika had her eyes closed as she was finishing through the end solo. Coming to the last note she finally looked up.

"I think that sounded really good," Shizuku offered as a review. "It would sound better if we could get you a slide for those parts in the song, but I think that was our best one yet."

"Really? You sure about that?"

"Definitely. In fact, I think we should end there. On a high note." Shizuku went back over to her case and put her bass back inside. Wait, I just got that! High note! What the hell! "I shall see you both tomorrow. Maybe we can get the song list finalized then."

"OK," Erika agreed. "Sounds good, we'll see you tomorrow."

We said our goodbyes by the front door and Shizuku headed back off to...wherever it is she lives. I dunno. As she left, I had to ask Erika something. "You don't really think I sound better like this do you? Be honest."

Erika kinda shrugged. "I don't know, I thought you were doing pretty good both ways. Although you were able to stay in pitch better as a girl." Fuck. No. I don't care if we lose. I'm not singing like this. Wait, I can't sing like this. Mac students only! And I'm pretty sure girl me isn't on any student roster! Hah! Take that, Shizuku! Your little plan ain't gonna work!

"Well, whatever, I'm not sure we even got a shot at this. Not without a drummer anyway. So, what do you want to do now?"

"Since you're already ready, I suppose we could do another training session. Try and wear you out enough to go home, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm up for that. Let's do it."

* * *

It didn't work, we did the hand to hand for an hour or so, I'm actually starting to hold my own against Erika's A material, but nothing was waking that bracelet up. Erika switching over for the training probably didn't help either, but whatever. Another night at the mansion isn't a bad thing. Erika made dinner, a stir-fry sort of deal, I didn't mind. Meant I didn't have to cook anything, which is always a plus. After that, I dunno we just kind of lounged around, watched stuff. It was pretty lazy after the training really. Again, didn't mind. It was nice to just sit for a bit, even if I was missing my laptop. The stuffed toys were behaving themselves too. It was actually a pretty good evening even if I was stuck in a girl's body for it...

* * *

And fuck if I'm not still stuck in it this morning. Lovely. Thanks Shizuku! Thanks a lot.

Well at least Erika's still cool with the current arrangement, even if she's got to go off to class while I stay here to keep an eye on things. And I can entertain myself on the computer until I change back. Yeah. Should be fine.

My plan worked for a bit. Facebook kept me preoccupied enough take up a good chunk of the late morning early afternoon. BK and BR were nowhere to be seen, which suits me just fine. It's actually kinda peaceful right now, I don't even feel like really going outside. I could just veg out like this for the rest of the...what the fuck was that? Was that Erika's doorbell? Shit, oh well, time to turn away some Jehovahs or something. Maybe I can convert them to my religion. Start up my own Scientology thing. Can't be that hard if Cruise buys into it.

Not really any clues as I approach the door. Whoever it is they are standing right behind it. No lean or anything. Let's see who's behind door number one then. It's...a redhead with a big drum. That's all I can see. She's carrying it so it's covering the top half of her face, aside from the flares of red hair poking out over it. "Uh, can I help you?"

"I was told to start setting up in this house." The voice is so monotone, like the bass drum she is carrying. "Not that I'm thrilled I have to lug my entire set around the city, but whatever."

"Who told you to come here?"

"I did." Where the hell did Shizuku materialize from? "Take a left at the top of the stairs. Erika's room is the last door on the right up there."

"Fine," the little drummer girl replied, as she started up. "Don't offer to help or anything either."

I pulled Shizuku aside by the hallway closet. "Is she supposed to be our drummer? Where did you find her?"

"She's an Arts student. I offered her a trade, my talents for her talents. She's willing to do this pro bono in exchange for me helping her get a halfway passable grade in her Japanese 2002 course."

"So you're not even cutting her in? That's a pretty good deal actually. Well I'm going to have to find some magical way to change back then before Erika gets..."

"Still standing there?" I heard from the top of the stairs. "Fine. That's fine. I'm unpaid labor anyway." She descended down. I can get a better look at her now that her face isn't buried in drum skin. The red hair is the most obvious thing. It's a little wild, a few strands shooting up before joining the rest in falling down back behind her. You'd think she'd be a little more fiery but her voice says otherwise. Freckles dot her face and the clothes are unremarkable; green t-shirt, blue jeans. She's dressed as bland as Michael Cera. Wait a minute, red hair! Is she...nope. Not her, arms are bare, save for a tattoo of a bomb on the left. Well that makes sense. I doubt Shizuku would willingly bring one of the moderator's bitches here.

"Oh, where are my manners? Kim, let me introduce you to Krystal Flowers." What? "She's our lead vocalist." WHAT! "Krystal, this is Kim Allison, she'll be playing drums for us." What the FUCK just happened here?

"I see. Hello." That's all she said before she headed out again. Good. I'm not interested in talking to her right now.

Once the door shuts, I'm tearing into Shizuku. "What the hell was that? I never agreed to sing like this!"

"I thought you sounded better in your Kämpfer form yesterday, so I figured we would go with that."

"And where the hell did you get that name anyway?"

"From your drivers license." She pulled a piece of plastic out of her purse, looks just like my drivers license, except, you know, all the pertinent information being for the fake side of me. I don't even know where she got this picture from. I don't know where she got that name from. This isn't making any kind of damn sense.

"How the hell did you conjure this?"

"I know a person who makes excellent duplicates. Can even do the holograms just right on them. Told them you were underage and wanted to hit the town. They love helping out young women like that."

"Where the fuck did you get this kind of info then? I never even told anyone that name!"

"I just used the name from that lovely article in Snap! You haven't seen it? I think I have a copy in my bag." She rifled through her bag for a moment before producing a battered magazine. Wait, Snap! Oh you better be kidding me... "See, right here. I thought you and Erika came off very well in that picture, so I had my faker use it with the blue background." Son of a fucking bitch! That fucking Greg got his fucking damn picture in! Who the fuck runs that picture in a Valentine's Day issue! All of my rage! Why is this fucking happening?

Kim came barging back in the door, carrying what looked to be a snare, a stool and a cymbal. "You could at least get the door for me, you know. Whatever, completely fine on my own." She gave a look that suggested some nasty things as she kept carrying pieces of her drum kit up the stairs.

"Even with the license this isn't going to work. You have to be a Mac student to be-," Shizuku shut me up by shoving another ID card in my palm. MacMichael detailed, right down to the bus pass sticker. "Fucking...how did you get** this** one?"

"I told you, they make excellent duplicates. Plus it doesn't take much effort to get into the student database here. Apparently the university is still using five year old security software. It's hilariously ineffectual." She's not even flinching while telling me all this. I'm raging as much as I can right now, and she's staring me down like its a two-year-old's tanrturm. "So you'll be coming with me to my late Tuesday English class, yes? You are registered for it. You'd do well to show up once this term." Extra classes? What kind of bullshit is this? "Kim, do you need any help with anything?"

The redhead was coming back down the stairs. "No, don't bother. I've gotten most of the stuff out anyway. Without your help." She said the last part quiet, but I could still hear it. She was out the door again.

"I'm not doing this. There is no way I'm putting myself out on any kind of stage like this. Even if we won enough money to fly me to Mars."

"Look, the other thing that convinced Kim to do this is she wants to see a female act take home the top prize this year. Had you bothered to do any research into this contest, you would see that only once in the contest's history has a woman gotten a share of top prize, and that was some bimbo who served as a magician's assistant. The feminist angle is one to work here, and if we were fronted by, how did she put it, another 'glory-seeking sausage jockey'? That's it. If that was the case she would be turning right around and we would be out a drummer again. So I think you can cooperate with this setup. The songs will sound better and it'll only be a half an hour on stage in exchange for seven days at a beautiful resort. Doesn't that sound like a fair trade?"

I guess for the pure amount of time, it makes sense. Still...I don't like even being like this in front of that Kim chick, let alone a bar full of college kids. I...I guess if it's only on the stage and off. Send Shizuku up to get the money maybe. That would work. But I still don't fucking like it. "I...guess it does."

"Great!" Shizuku sounds way too happy to get confirmation. She opened the door behind her, just as Kim walked up with the last pieces of her drum kit. She still had that sour look on her face as she trudged up the stairs. "We should at least help her set up, don't you agree?" I fucking hate you right now. Even if your ass looks pretty good heading up the stairs. Still hate you.

Kim had it pretty much set up in Erika's room by the time we got up there anyway. It's a basic kit; bass, snare, opposite cymbals. "That didn't take you long at all to get together," Shizuku noted.

"This is just half of what I actually have," Kim stated. "I can bring more pieces if its needed...and if you actually feel like helping next time."

"Sorry, I was just explaining what was going on to Krystal. What the plan for the afternoon would be and such. Isn't that right Krystal?" Fuck off. And stop prodding me in the stomach.

"...Yeah sure. Plus I was going to let Erika know, since this is her house after all." I brought out my phone. I probably should tell her anyway. I know she said she be home ASAP after class, and that should be soon, but still good for her to have a heads up. I got a quick text in while Kim was finishing her set up. [Shizuku found drummer. Shes here now, just 2 let u know]

"OK, there." Kim was done getting things in place. "So what's the plan? Do you know what songs you're doing for this thing?"

"We have a rough idea," Shizuku answered. "With your help I'm sure we can narrow them down."

"Better not be some pop shit, Shizuku. I'm not doing this to play pablum for the ignorant masses."

"No, no, it's mostly rock actually. That's what Krystal specializes in." That's not what KRYSTAL special...Shit. My phone's vibrating. Ah, Erika had gotten back to me. [K, be there in ten.]

"You play guitar too then, or this just a one piece deal?" Oh, that's at me.

"No, no, I just leave that to Erika."

"I see." She's getting that look again. That 'I'd rather be drinking bug repellent' look. Screw you then, bitch! I'm sorry I didn't want to be some douche with a guitar when I got to college!

"Well, why don't you show us what you got then?"

"Gladly." Kim pulled up the stool to her set and pulled a pair of drumsticks out of her backpack. They glistened with the same auburn color as her hair. She proceeded to bang out a quick minute set. I couldn't place where it was from. Sounded like something Ash would play, or maybe The Ordinary Boys. Definite British influence there anyway. "Good enough for you?" she asked when she finished.

"Excellent," Shizuku answered for us. "I think we have a real good chance at winning this."

"We'll see," Kim replied. "See how good Erika is on guitar. Then I'll know what chance we have of actually winning."

* * *

Practice is going good. Erika was back a few minutes after Kim gave us a taste of what she could do. She looked a little surprised to see me as is, I really wish I could just do this regularly, if I have to do this at all, but whatever, I got stuck in fight mode. My own damn fault I guess. Or the bracelet's fault. Little bastard trinket.

Anyway, like I said, other than being a girl, it's been going good. I still don't know if I'm sounding like I should be with the higher voice, but I guess it's all right. Kim hasn't stormed out of the room yet, that's a plus. We've been going at it for at least an hour. I don't know, I haven't been looking at a clock. Chili Peppers are definitely going to be in the set, that much is for sure.

"Well, at least this group doesn't suck," Kim summed up. "Guess it's worth my time to stick around."

"Nice to know we meet your standards." Had to say something. She's acting like she's frigging Neil Peart. She doesn't even have a fraction of his drum set.

"Let's keep going." At least Shizuku is leading this thing. Better her than me. Although some of her methods really fuck me over. "Kim, do you know Face Down?" I bet Shizuku knows face down. Position that is.

"Yeah, it's watered down sell-out punk."

"Can you play it?"

"I guess. Not really anything to it."

"Then start it off, but play it slower so Erika can keep up."

"Fine. Won't make it sound less like crap." Whatever, I like the other song we pulled from these guys anyway. Wouldn't mind doing that one on stage.

Kim started up on the drums, again this is at a slower pace then I'm really used to just to adjust for the switch from electric to acoustic. I think it sounds better though. We're not going to have distortion effects or anything like that so this works better. Shizuku and Erika have already come in so I've got little time before I start.

"_Hey girl you know you drive me crazy. One look puts a rhythm in my head. Still I'll never understand why you hang around, I see what's going down. Cover up with makeup in the mirror, tell yourself it's never gonna happen again, you cry alone and then he swears he LOVES YOU!_

_Do you feel like a man, when you push her around, do you feel better now, she falls..."_ That flashing... my bracelet's going off? Now? Fuck! I mean, yes! I mean, fuck! Not here! "Ugh, gotta go for a sec."

I had to bolt out of the room. This scumbag bracelet has just the best fucking timing in the world. Won't change me back before Shizuku commits me to the Joan Jett role, will change me back right in front of someone who doesn't happen to know about the whole battle of the warrior ladies thing. Bathroom's good enough, at least for riding this out. I barely had time to lock the door behind me before the tingling stuff started and I turned back into the old me. Thank whoever is up there for that.

I think I'm just going to sit here for a bit, not that I can go back out there anyway. It would kinda look a little suspicious I go out there in front of Kim with the exact same clothes that "Krystal" had on. I don't think I can jump out of the window either. That's a steep fall down to the backyard. This is going to be a long wait though. Bloody iPod Klondike better be able to keep me occupied enough until I can come out.

I stayed atop the porcelain throne for...I don't know how long. Wasn't really looking at the time until I heard some knocking on the door. "Uh, occupied?" I had to strain to get my voice up to try and match what it sounds like as a Kämpfer. I don't think it's too convincing.

"Relax, it's just me and Shizuku." Good. No bitchy drummer, no need to go falsetto.

"All right come in then. It's unlocked and I'm not doing anything."

The two of them entered, in what I'm sure was an awkward move. "Where'd Kim go off to?"

"We told her that would be it for the day," Shizuku explained. "Couldn't really do anything with the lead singer suffering through that time of the month."

"That's what you told her? Gross."

"It was accepted though. She doesn't need to know that's impossible for Kämpfers to have it." That's actually reassuring. Don't need to be worrying about that shit. "So we'll meet up for a final tune up session after we return from the mall tomorrow." OK, good. I can actually go home and stuff. Not worry about this thing, just play some poker, great...

Wait what was that about we and mall?


End file.
